Mbna checkIng???!!!!

[Theoldbag]

Hi there

After a wee bit of advice from anyone who may have complained to mbna

I rang today and was told a decision had been made and my complaint was with 'quality checking team'

Anyone come across this before. I have a sneaky suspicion its not going to be upheld

Cheers

[di30]

Re: Mbna checkIng???!!!!

Hi there

I've not dealt directly with them before, but sure many have and will share their experience with you, hopefully it will be good news

fingers crossed x

[enquirer]

Re: Mbna checkIng???!!!!

I assisted someone with a complaint to MBNA. They were useless. Their grasp of the Data Protection Act was also virtually non-existent. Depending on the nature of your complaint, it would probably be wise to start sketching out how you propose to take it further.

[Angry Cat]

Re: Mbna checkIng???!!!!

The inner workings of MBNA have always been a mystery!

I had a communication from them recently, and I am still puzzled; scratching my head over it?

Perhaps, my complaint has also gone to the 'quality checking team'???

[MIKE770]

Re: Mbna checkIng???!!!!

The inner workings of MBNA have always been a mystery!

I had a communication from them recently, and I am still puzzled; scratching my head over it?

Perhaps, my complaint has also gone to the 'quality checking team'???

The Infamous "Quality checking system"

1. F.F. File = Fire File

2. File 13 = The Rubbish Bin

3. Q.F. = Quality File = Bottom of the Pile as not understood (May be somebody one may find it and understand it)

4. L.W. fILE = Stay There and wait and a person MAY of along. (Known as THE LONG WAIT)

5. L.H.P. File = Left Handed Pen.

[Angry Cat]

Re: Mbna checkIng???!!!!

Or this:
“I have investigated the complaint and I can now happily confirm that the complaint has been closed.

We regularly close complaints that may stay open for no other reason other than we don't like open complaints as they make the place look messy and look bad on our 'open complaints' meter that sits above my boss' door.

If you think we shouldn't have closed your open complaint, please complain again and I will be happy to close another open complaint from you. If you don't know how to complain, please complain again this time stating that you require a booklet from us stating how a complaint should be worded to avoid being closed immediately on opening as we are too busy closing opened complaints to investigate an open complaint.

We are able, though, to investigate a closed complaint, but on the whole this usually comprises of a statement to the effect of we have investigated the closed complaint and can confirm it is still closed, whereby we are able to close the current complaint asking whether or not the previously closed complaint remains closed.

If you feel that a closed complaint should be re-opened, please re-issue a complaint to this department. Once we receive a new complaint we will check this against our previous complaint database and at that time ascertain whether or not we have previously closed a complaint from you on that subject. If this is the case we will happily close the new open complaint and send you another letter stating that we have again checked to see whether or not the complaint you sent in matched a previous complaint and again we were happy to close said complaint as the previous complaint had been closed to our satisfaction.

Please find enclosed an application form you can send to us at our complaints address asking for our complaints procedure. Please place this in an envelope and mark it 'NOT A COMPLAINT' as we sometimes have a stream lined process in place where all letters not marked in this manner are opened by a machine operated by a monkey and then placed directly in the bin. If you would like to complain to us regarding this procedure, please write in and complain about this too.

Please, feel free to complain again whenever you believe you have been wronged by our organisation, but be aware that our commitment to complaints is restricted to the lip service required to satisfy the quasi-political regulatory services we fund to ensure any complaints we are unable to close in this manner are closed by another quango, who, by the way, we play golf with on a weekly basis and in fact they are married to my little sister.

Please feel free to waste another few trees to check whether or not we are complying with our complaints procedure, but rest assured we are registered to British Standard (complain) which basically means we can do whatever we want as there is nothing you can do about it.”

[MIKE770]

Re: Mbna checkIng???!!!!

Or this:
“I have investigated the complaint and I can now happily confirm that the complaint has been closed.

We regularly close complaints that may stay open for no other reason other than we don't like open complaints as they make the place look messy and look bad on our 'open complaints' meter that sits above my boss' door.

If you think we shouldn't have closed your open complaint, please complain again and I will be happy to close another open complaint from you. If you don't know how to complain, please complain again this time stating that you require a booklet from us stating how a complaint should be worded to avoid being closed immediately on opening as we are too busy closing opened complaints to investigate an open complaint.

We are able, though, to investigate a closed complaint, but on the whole this usually comprises of a statement to the effect of we have investigated the closed complaint and can confirm it is still closed, whereby we are able to close the current complaint asking whether or not the previously closed complaint remains closed.

If you feel that a closed complaint should be re-opened, please re-issue a complaint to this department. Once we receive a new complaint we will check this against our previous complaint database and at that time ascertain whether or not we have previously closed a complaint from you on that subject. If this is the case we will happily close the new open complaint and send you another letter stating that we have again checked to see whether or not the complaint you sent in matched a previous complaint and again we were happy to close said complaint as the previous complaint had been closed to our satisfaction.

Please find enclosed an application form you can send to us at our complaints address asking for our complaints procedure. Please place this in an envelope and mark it 'NOT A COMPLAINT' as we sometimes have a stream lined process in place where all letters not marked in this manner are opened by a machine operated by a monkey and then placed directly in the bin. If you would like to complain to us regarding this procedure, please write in and complain about this too.

Please, feel free to complain again whenever you believe you have been wronged by our organisation, but be aware that our commitment to complaints is restricted to the lip service required to satisfy the quasi-political regulatory services we fund to ensure any complaints we are unable to close in this manner are closed by another quango, who, by the way, we play golf with on a weekly basis and in fact they are married to my little sister.

Please feel free to waste another few trees to check whether or not we are complying with our complaints procedure, but rest assured we are registered to British Standard (complain) which basically means we can do whatever we want as there is nothing you can do about it.”

And to finish off that letter:- it would be signed by:-


Ahsso

[Angry Cat]

Re: Mbna checkIng???!!!!

And to finish off that letter:- it would be signed by:-


Ahsso

Quite So...HA HA HA HA!

[Theoldbag]

Re: Mbna checkIng???!!!!

Well - never thought the words 'quality' and mbna wd be used in same phrase without a negative in the sentence

They have only gone and upheld my complaint

Chuffed to bits