Enaids Offspring (again)

[enaid]

Tis me again, with this never ending problem of my son.

Well he starts his new job tomorrow, so ten out of ten for that.
The thing is now, he will be drawing decent money at first because he will not be paying tax initially till he catches up with his allowance. His wage is a good one anyway not that the hourly rate is fab, just that he will be working a total of 50hrs.
As you may know he is with CCCS and I would say this is still not sorted properly IMO, but he has made the payments to them and never missed.
So will he have to go back to them with a new I&E sheet? If so the wage he will be getting for the first couple of months will not be his true wage so to speak, how do we explain this?
Can I put on the I&E sheet what he owes me, will this count?
Also without cheating lol, how can I ensure that they don't take off him too much and leave him thinking it's not worth him working all these hours for.
Don't get me wrong, I know and he knows these debts have to be paid.
I just don't want him giving up on work as a second choice to getting by, hope I make myself clear here.
Thanks for any help or opinions that can be given Enaid x

[TUTTSI]

Re: Enaids Offspring (again)

Tis me again, with this never ending problem of my son.

Well he starts his new job tomorrow, so ten out of ten for that.
The thing is now, he will be drawing decent money at first because he will not be paying tax initially till he catches up with his allowance. His wage is a good one anyway not that the hourly rate is fab, just that he will be working a total of 50hrs.
As you may know he is with CCCS and I would say this is still not sorted properly IMO, but he has made the payments to them and never missed.
So will he have to go back to them with a new I&E sheet? If so the wage he will be getting for the first couple of months will not be his true wage so to speak, how do we explain this?
Can I put on the I&E sheet what he owes me, will this count?
Also without cheating lol, how can I ensure that they don't take off him too much and leave him thinking it's not worth him working all these hours for.
Don't get me wrong, I know and he knows these debts have to be paid.
I just don't want him giving up on work as a second choice to getting by, hope I make myself clear here.
Thanks for any help or opinions that can be given Enaid x

Di can you not just explain to these peeps that whilst his first couple of payslips he will come out with more pay and after it will then become normal!! - honesty being the best policy!!

xx

[enaid]

Re: Enaids Offspring (again)

Thanks Tuts,
I intend for him to be totally honest , I am just afraid they will take most of his money. Therefore leaving him very little and him thinking work is a waste of time and effort.
This after the initial period and when his wages are correct.

[Amy]

Re: Enaids Offspring (again)

Surely he's old enough to know that if you want nice things in life you have to work hard for them and now he has this job he can clear his debts much quicker and then he will be able to enjoy having a bit more money when they are gone, which will be sooner rather than later now.

He needs to learn this is a good thing and not a negative thing and that he is very lucky.

Does he think you go to work for fun?

[enaid]

Re: Enaids Offspring (again)

Surely he's old enough to know that if you want nice things in life you have to work hard for them and now he has this job he can clear his debts much quicker and then he will be able to enjoy having a bit more money when they are gone, which will be sooner rather than later now.
Yes Amy he does know about hard work, in fact he has worked since he was 16. He did nights also for over 7 yrs of his working life. He only left his job to go live with a girl and when things didn't work out, he was depressed and eventually lost his job.

He needs to learn this is a good thing and not a negative thing and that he is very lucky.
He knows too that getting this job is a positive thing and he is looking forward to it.

Does he think you go to work for fun?

No, he knows why I go to work.

I asked the question thinking it was the right thing to do, now I am not too sure. The question was in my round about way of asking.
"How can I ensure that when he starts to pay more off these debts they will not be asking for most of his earnings. Leaving him thinking it is no use him going to work as he is worse off than he was before"?

[Amy]

Re: Enaids Offspring (again)

Enaid, you've answered your own question - he's been brought up properly and he knows his responsibilities, as you mentioned above.

I think you are worrying about nothing. He sounds like a very well rounded young man to me.

[Emerald]

Re: Enaids Offspring (again)

I would suggest he submits a new I&E after he has been settled in the job for about 2 months and has worked out a liveable budget.
I suggest you post it here before submitting it.

Yes you can legitimately include in his debts what he owes you, what is frowned upon is him paying you over other creditors.

[WendyB]

Re: Enaids Offspring (again)

I would wait till he's settled in his job and knows whats what before you do anything about changing the amounts payable. You never know whats round the corner so don't let him jump the gun. Once his wages are on an even keel then sort it out. And tbh you don't know that he'll be picking up more for the first few weeks - what if he goes onto emergency tax? has he got a P45 to hand in? Cos if not he might well be picking up less.

Good luck to him for today - have you made his snap to take with him

[enaid]

Re: Enaids Offspring (again)

Good luck to him for today - have you made his snap to take with him

Thanks Wendy,
No snap lol, he can have his dinner afore he goes (he doesn't start till 1.30 and OH is taking him today, so only 10 mins down the road.
Then he can have a canteen tea or supper lol with the money he saved on his bus fare.

[WendyB]

Re: Enaids Offspring (again)

Thanks Wendy,
OH is taking him today, so only 10 mins down the road.
Then he can have a canteen tea or supper lol with the money he saved on his bus fare.

Well if its only 10 mins down the road, make him walk in future then he wouldn't have to pay busfare. Or buy him a bike

[enaid]

Re: Enaids Offspring (again)

Well if its only 10 mins down the road, make him walk in future then he wouldn't have to pay busfare. Or buy him a bike

I wish it's, 10 mins on motorway, he can't drive and can't afford a car anyway.
The bus he will have to catch takes 50 mins as it's one of them all round the houses ones.
I am going to weigh up a bus pass thing and also a Taxi contract for him as tbh the taxi may well be about the same not sure.

[Paule]

Re: Enaids Offspring (again)

Enaid this may sound blunt, so I'm sorry if I Offend you

Hes a grown up lad, tell him to sort himself out.

When I get public transport to work it takes me about 90 mins. In winter I can come home P1ssed wet through, but thats the way it goes I'm afraid.

You cant molly coddle him for ever, tell him he will have to leave an hour earlier

I am going to weigh up a bus pass thing and also a Taxi contract for him as tbh the taxi may well be about the same not sure

Tell him to sort himself out or he will never learn. go on GMPTE - Public Transport for Greater Manchester, UK theres a travel planner on there that will tell you buses, trains, trams and times etc to get to destinations by time. It even has the timetables etc.

You and your hubby should be enjoying yourself in your new house, not picking up after your son, ferrying him around, sorting out his debts. He needs to start sorting himself out.

Throw him in at the deep end. Tell him he has to sort his own travel arangements from next week, you have helped him for the first week to give him a hand.

he can't drive and can't afford a car anyway.

He doesnt need to, you are being his chafeur.
Tell him to put a few quid away and save for some lessons, then even if he cant afford a car he can at least borrow yours and drive himself.

I am only concerned for your wellbeing and to be honest you need to let him go and take some of the consequences of his actions for himself.
It is you who is getting all the pressure from this, he seems to let you sort it all out for him.

PKea

[enaid]

Re: Enaids Offspring (again)

I know you are only thinking of me PK cause I know yer luv me really lol.
He will be using the bus home tonight and also from tomorrow, I know I should let him do it all himself Pk. He is male though and can't multi task, this has been proven many times lol.
He can't borrow our car it's motability and is used for our Tilly so that is not an option.

Yes I do seem to do it all for my kids Pk, I can't help it tbh.
I do hope too that people like you and Amy who have kids growing up and have not yet come to the kind of problems you get when they get older. That you learn from mine and if I may say Tuttsi's weakness in helping them out.
I hope you can make your kids fend for themselves, I may be wrong but I very much doubt you will totally achieve it. Enaid xx

[Sapphire]

Re: Enaids Offspring (again)

Hiya Di, just want to say I know 'exactly' where you are coming from hun, we had himself's offspring here over the weekend and his daughter (40 next year) has brought me a lovely pressie - NOT, a great big bag stuffed full of bills etc and her I/E form and said HEEEEELLLLLLPPPPPP !!!!!! So on and on it goes pmsl.

Hey Ho!