withholding address

[scolsey]

Hi,

I split from my common law partner on 1st April this year and have reluctantly agreed to 6 nights access to our 3 yr old daughter. We are not on good terms and she has refused to give me her new address and we meet elsewhere to hand over our daughter. Do i have a legal right to know where my daughter is living and can she stop me from picking my daughter up/dropping her off at her house please??

[Celestine]

Re: withholding address

HI there

Do you mean 6 nights access per fortnight?
As your case has not (yet) been formalised by a Court Order, your ex can effectively do what she wants. There are no informal rules governing access and residency.

It is VERY important at this informal stage to try and get things on to a stable footing.

I understand just how stressful break ups are. But if there is any way you can sit down with your ex and resolve some of the anger. I said to another poster last year.....'Now the relationship is over, the friendship HAS to begin' if you want to give your daughter the best chance of minimal emotional damage from this break up.

If that is not possible and I would advise trying EVERYTHING to achieve this, then you must act as if this access arrangement is at some point in the future going to need formalising through the Family Courts. Expensive and stressful but worth getting some formal structure to the situation.

Come back and tell us a bit more and I can help guide you through the process.

Oh, and keep a diary of everything. Phone calls/letters/emails/texts/meetings. Document the access pattern so if anything goes wrong you have some hard proof of equal parenting. Personally I wouldn't budge below 50/50 contact if possible.