Child custody

[Carolegal]

My son and his girlfriend split up in 2018 and their daughter, aged 2 years at the time remained with her mother. The child is now 9 years old. Her father has always tried to maintain regular contact with his daughter, has always paid support for her as well as buying her clothes, toys and anything else she wanted/needed. Originally based in London, the mother and child moved away and now live in Brighton.
After the move it was agreed in mediation that my son and his ex would split the travelling 50/50. She doesn't comply with this agreement, so my son does all the travelling (on public transport as he doesn't drive) or he would not be able to see his daughter because her mother refuses to co-operate.

This places an additional financial burden on my son as he has to take time off work to collect his daughter from school on Friday evenings when she is spending the weekends with him.

The ex now has a boyfriend based in Bristol and intends to remove my granddaughter from Brighton to live with her boyfriend. This would not only take her away from all her friends and the school she has attended from the start, but it would make it impossible for my son to spend alternate weekends with her, which is and has always been a regular thing. In addition she has a number of aunts, uncles, grandparents and cousins on her fathers side whom she has known since she was born. She would be cut off from all of us except perhaps for school holidays, as well as her father and all her friends.
She has told her mother that she doesn't want to move, however her mother is not taking what my granddaughter is saying into consideration. I feel that she is putting her own needs ahead of those of her daughter.

There are other areas of concern.

She is not allowed to bring home any gifts or clothes given to her from her father or her father's family. She told me this made her feel sad.

Last summer school term, because mother wanted to spend more time with her boyfriend in Bristol, she told my son that he must return their daughter on Monday mornings direct to her school. This meant that they had to get up at 5am to be ready to catch a train back to Brighton to deliver my granddaughter to school at 9am. My granddaughter told her mother that she was worried about this but was told that it was "for her own good"! I have no doubt that my granddaughter must have been very tired having to do this and I am certain that it would have impacted upon her ability to learn. As far as I'm aware this has now ceased.

My son has absolutely no say in anything with regard to his daughter. Her mother calls all the shots and could conceivably withhold access. She has done this before on a number of occasions.

There is no official custody agreement in place and my son is willing to move to Brighton and have full custody of his daughter to avoid uprooting her. I suspect that the mother will fight this. Not because she wants her daughter but simply to spite my son.

Is there any advice out there that might help me help my son move forward into a more positive situation?

Would he be able to take custody of his daughter if the mother moves her away? If so, what level of financial resources would he need to proceed.

Would my granddaughters wishes be taken into account?

If you have taken the time to read this, thank you.

[ULA]

Tag Celestine

[atticus]

These things are governed by the Children Act 1989. The Family Court can make a Child Arrangements Order covering things such as where/with whom a child is to live and contact arrangements.

There are several key principles under the Children Act. First and foremost, the welfare of the child is the court's paramount concern. There is also a rebuttable statutory presumption that the welfare of the child will be furthered by the involvement of both parents in the child's life. Section 1(3) contains a welfare checklist the court must apply.

If your son has "parental responsibility" he can apply to the Family Court for a Child Arrangements Order. If not, he must first apply to the court to give him parental responsibility, following which he can seek a Child Arrangements Order.

Unfortunately, making a recalcitrant parent comply with these court orders can be difficult in practice.

[Celestine]

Very good advice from Atticus above. I've worked recently on a few cases like this and despite the daunting process ahead, I do think your son would be wise to make an application to the family court for a child arrangement order (CAO). If he was not put on her birth certificate he will need to apply for Parental responsibility (PR) but in my experience this would be a formality which can be dealt with as a pre-application to the CAO, without causing significant delay.
The reasons he should apply now:
* Daughter is age 9. By the time any application rolls along, she will be age 10; which is the age CAFCASS officers (court appointed social workers) will take her opinion seriously.
* Significant move on the horizon which will erode fathers relationship with daughters and cause detriment at a crucial age.
* Your son has shown consistent and dedicated parenting which will be recognised by courts.

The court would make the mother set out the benefits of any move and ensure she respects the paternal relationship. Fathers rights have improved greatly in recent years and many parents DO navigate the family court without a solicitor. I always recommend saving your pennies for a barrister (for final hearing) so long as you make a decent job of drafting your application/witness statements.

Keep us informed of how your son gets on and please wish him good luck.