My boss is making my notice unbearable but I’m frightened of her

[Elsie123]

I am due to start IVF soon and due to finding my job too much to cope with alongside the treatment, I handed my notice in. My boss is making my notice period so uncomfortable. We are only a small team and she is completely ignoring me (except if I have to send an email that needs a reply). She will not acknowledge me and leaves the room as soon as I walk in. I have been crying at work, which she is aware of, but she has continued to make me feel isolated. Part of the reason I handed my notice is in that I am quite frightened of her and have witnessed the way she has treated others - her 'go to' reaction when she feels disgruntled is to take legal action or send people legal letters. I have been there a year and she is in the process of sueing someone else (non employee) and has sent numerous legal letters to others.

Being at work is making me unwell, I am feeling too anxious to eat and I am not sleeping. I have tried to take this step to priorise my wellbeing ahead of my fertility treatment but handing in my notice has had the opposite affect. I don't feel I am well enough to continue work and would like to see a Dr but I am scared of my boss and know anything additional I do to make her life difficult she will not take lying down. I feel she will dig up any mistakes I have made (I am only human) or anything else she can clutch at to make my life harder - and I mentally can't deal with any kind of legal communication she will no doubt try to take. I just want to be able to continue my life and prioritise my IVF. We don't have an HR at work I can go to either.

Just to note, handing in my notice wasn't easy - as my partner and I will be significantly financially impacted but decided between us that my wellbeing and mental state is priority.

[echat11]

Hi ELSIE123

Welcome to LB

Do calm down, try some 'mindfulness' videos on Youtube, take yourself away from the conflict you feel,
think of things that make you happy.

First thing to do is keep a diary of events.

Speak to your boss informally, state how you feel, note down the date / time, what was said.

If the conduct does not improve, raise a formal grievance with HR, do it in writing.

ULA

[red_boots2]

Have you been to HR and advised them about IVF? My wife had similar issues when we started our journey. However after speaking to HR suddenly everything calmed down quite a bit.


Happy to send you her Instagram handle if you want to talk to someone about IVF stuff in general There are a lot of support groups she can tell you about

[PallasAthena]

Have you been to HR and advised them about IVF? My wife had similar issues when we started our journey. However after speaking to HR suddenly everything calmed down quite a bit

OP said she doesn't have an HR department.

[ULA]

Can you let me know:

Has your boss's behaviour changed significantly since you handed in your notice?

How much longer of your notice period do you have to work?

If you were not prioritising your health and well being in advance of your IVF treatment, which I completely understand, would you have been considering resigning due to what you appear to infer is the way your boss was treating you and / or other staff members?

[Elsie123]

She is a difficult person anyway - but yes her behaviour has completely changed.

I have been considering leaving for several months but was too concerned that 1. Another employer would not take me on if I was upfront about the IVF (which I would feel most comfortable with) & 2. Going into fertility treatment, and hopefully maternity leave, without a job and income is less than ideal. It just got to the point where I had to weigh it up and decided we could work through those bits but that my mental and physical health had to come first.

just to note for some other comments - we are a company of 6 people with no HR.

[ULA]

Thank you for responding to my questions.

Sorry there was one other question on my post how long is your notice period and how much longer is remaining?

[Elsie123]

Sorry - my notice period a month and I’ve got 3 weeks remaining. I’m back tomorrow after 2 days off and I feel physically sick.

[ULA]

If you are still intent on leaving the company and if the situation is causing you to feel stressed and anxious have you been to your GP? They may consider signing you off sick for the remainder of your notice period, however I appreciate this may not be ideal financially in terms of pay if the company only pays SSP.

Other than that I am not sure what else you can do.