Help please in cohesive control and court process

[Purplehope]

Can anyone help me. 2 years ago I found the courage to leave my partner and father of my 4 children after 39 years of an abusive relationship. I met my partner at a young age and after my first child the abuse started, I was trapped. He would sabotage any friendships I had by embarrassing me. I had to ask him for money to pay for things and he would get angry and do things like cut my hair or put a cigarette onto my groin. Then he would give me the money and carry on like nothing had happened. He refused to marry me but called me his wife and made me change my name. I lived at our family home for those 39 years, but am not named on the deeds. I looked after our children and he told me I didnt need a career as he would always look after me. He is a very wealthy man, a millionaire with a large portfolio, whereas I came from an impoverished background. I gave him 4 beautiful children, they also suffered emotionally and physically. 2 years ago I found the courage to leave, he had become weaker physically with age. Since then I have been sleeping in my sisters spare room, I have no job prospects and am now receiving benefits after he stopped my allowance. He still calls me repeatedly, leaves answer phone messages, and makes recurrent requests. Sometimes I answer the phone and try to keep him happy. He threatens to harm our children through various means. 3 months after I left I received a court service that he was claiming £480,000 from me. He stated that when I left I took one of his cars (I did take the car he had given me a few years ago and used as my own, it is registered to me), and he also states that I stole his watch and £20,000 in cash. When I left I took £500 in cash to allow me to stay in a hotel for the first few days as I knew he would come to my sisters house. I did not take his watch, I would not want his watch. He reported it to the police and when they questioned me they said no further action would be taken from them. I have no assets and no savings, so to sue me is simply pointless. I could not pay for a lawyer so initially I wrote a defence to the court which was very poor, at the initial hearing the judge said I needed to write something better, but he was sympathising with my situation and could see I was a victim in this. He then put in an amended claim with a few changed words and so I spent every day working really hard on a defence, researching online and wrote something which I am told was very good. I did not mention the abuse from the past. This has now gone on a year and a half as the court proceedings are so drawn out. I can only see that now I have escaped physically my partner is using his wealth to attack me legally as another form of cohesive control, and I have no money to defend myself. It is too late for my to find a lawyer as the deadline is approaching, but I have been advised that I should put a counter-claim in. I have nothing to loose.


My questions are:

1. How do I put a counter-claim in - as my defence is already submitted I think I have to ask the court to do this - is this application notice N244? Should I send this along with a draft of the actual counterclaim? The fee for counterclaim is £10,000 which of course I cannot afford so I was going to apply for help with fees - EX160, is this the correct thing to do?
2. I have written a counterclaim which gives a background of 39 years of domestic violence and financial control. I understand as the cohesive control law came about with Section 76 Serious Crime Act 2015 so I cannot perhaps claim for anything before this, but is it reasonable to put the background in my counterclaim?
3. My counterclaim is from damages secondary to the law suit against me causing a) 1.5 years of emotional distress b) being a form of cohesive control from my partner, disguised as a legal case. c) The lost of my family home, being unable to move back due to ongoing cohesive control and harassment. 50% of the value of the home is approximately £850,000.
4. Is it therefore reasonable to ask for £850000, plus say £100000 for damages. The value of my partners portfolio is in excess of 50 million pounds. Should I be asking more or will the court see it as unreasonable and not give me permission to counterclaim? My hope is that if a counterclaim is allowed, my partner will want to settle out of court to prevent the abuse coming to light. He would NEVER attend court himself.
5. I feel I cannot be free from his control until I have some money to survive and protect me. I have no doubt that his case against me will be thrown out by the judge, but in addition I feel I deserve some compensation in order to live in freedom. At this stage I would just be happy for the court to agree for me to put in a counterclaim so atleast the truth can be told.

Many thanks for any help that can be provided.

[ULA]

Tag Celestine

[atticus]

I think Purplehope needs professional help. I suggest that she obtains support from a charity that assists women who are victims of abuse/leaving abusive relationships. They should be able to steer her towards a good solicitor with experience of this type of case. Legal Aid may well be available.