Neighbour is intimidating,bullying and swearing at my kids and family and friends

[JOJOLEE]

Hi. I'm new to this site but in urgent need or advise.... The post is long winded but explains what is going on... please read... any advise is welcome.... I have lived in my council house for just over 3 years now. I was informed by the council upon taking my tenancy that I have the right to use the access/right of way from my back garden through the neighbours garden. Previously we occasionally used the gate from our back garden through my neighbours garden for the larger household items to be brought in as the front entrance way to my house is well.. front door 2/3 ft forward then stairs and 2/3ft wide then doorway into living room. They own their house and presume that because of this they can dictate what I can use the access for and when and that I also have to knock on for permission beforehand. We never had crossed words until around 3/4 weeks ago when we had a big overhaul of the back garden and the skip was in the front garden. Our contractor was making trips back and forth obviously through the neighbours garden. This took place Wednesday and Thursday of that particular week then on the Friday I picked up my 2 sons new bikes. As I made my way to my back garden with them I noticed the neighbour had placed a bolt on the bottom of the wooden 4/5ft gate on their side. I un bloted it and took in the bikes I then proceed to leave it unbolted as i knew my sons would be out on them the following day and I was unable to unlock that bolt due to its position and the 4inch screws they used to secure it to a fence panel. Saturday morning around 10 I unlocked my side and theres of the access gate to find the bottom bolt had been locked I pushed it oped and the lock gave out. This did not damage the fence only bent the bolt. The male neighbour was in and out of his garden throughout the day and said nothing. (I was in the garden painting. Around 1 in the afternoon the female neighbour proceeds to approach the gate I am painting and started to shout,swear and be aggressive to me infront of my children saying that I have damaged her property and that i cannot go through the garden unless for bins. I informed her that I can go through for reason other than the bins as that's what I have been told. She then went on to threaten me with the solicitors and the rspca because my dog barks and snarls at hers when it approaches the fence. (Her dog bit my dogs muzzle through the fence within the 1st week of us moving in). She does not stop her dog from approaching the fence,hers is a small terrier type mine is a large Staffordshire bull terrier. I informed my housing officer of the altercation and this led to a letter being sent to the neighbours informing them to remove the lock and also of their rights and mine. That's what my housing officer informed me it would say. On Wednesday of this week 1 of my sons took his bike out while my other son and niece of 6 were playing in the garden. As they were trying to lock the gate the female came out and started to verbally abuse them including using the f*** word at them. I went out and told her not to speak to them like that and to approach me if she has an issue. Again I got aggressive verbal abuse. She also stated that she was removing the gate between the two houses and then I would be accountable if my dog attacked hers or her grandchildren. I do not believe this would be the case as they have removed my metal gate post to install their wooden gate and fence attaching thier post slightly over onto the wall of my rented property. Her dog chases and barks at us when we are using the access. Her calling it's name does not stop it. My son who was home with my niece then went into the front garden as my niece was scared to stay in the back because of the neighbours outburst. They played with a rubber/foam type football. It accidentally went into there front garden/driveway and tapped their brand new bisablity car which resulted in the male neighbour aggressively verbally abusing them also using the f*** word. I went out and repeated my previous statement as to speaking to the children in that way. The guy closed the window. I believe the garden they use as a driveway is not legal as there is no drop curb. They park diagonally across the garden preventing us from using the single access gate. Again causing concern regarding if the car was caught by the bikes or furniture who would be liable. Thursday morning as the office opened I informed my housing of these 2 altercations. About 4.30 that day I received a call from my housing officer. Neighbours had received the letter from the council and wanted to let the council know as to why she placed the bottom lock on the gate because she feared my dog would get through it and attack hers and because she was dog sitting someone else's dog. She has done this every year we have been here.(My wheelie bin is in front of the gate also). My housing officer asked that I make sure to lock gates and use the single gate not the driveway gates. I explained the way they park and that I didn't think it was a legal driveway due to not having a drop curb and also my anxiety at who would be liable for damage if it occoured to the car. It being on a none legal drive and them blocking the single gate access. Housing officer then contacted neighbours to inform them not to block the single gate access. I presume that they have been informed of some issues with them parking in garden/driveway and liability of damages because since this call took place the car is parked out on the road side and only transferred onto the garden/driveway after dark when my children would already be inside with their bikes. Friday roughly 6/7 in the evening my son along with his friend both on bikes came though to my back garden closing and locking the gates,not latches but bolts to fix a punctured tyre on my sons friends bike. On their way back out the female neighbour again aggressively verbally started to abuse them from the window as they made their way out of her garden. I went to the front garden because of the abuse I could hear from inside my house. The female neighbour was screeching at the group of children. I have twin boys each had 3 to 4 friends with them outside my front garden. The female then came outside and approached the fence to my garden and again administered some agressive verbal abuse towards me while waving her arms around all the while the children a group 8/10 where present. In her opinion my children's friends cannot come into my back garden with their bikes we should leave them out front. We cannot leave anything of value out in the front garden. We have had 2 bikes stolen and a seg way in daylight that my neighbour over the road chased the thief down to recover. She then went on to accuse my son with the rubber ball on the previous incident of snapping 1 of her fence panels,this did not occur as it was intact when I told the male neighbour not to speak to the children in that way. She only went inside and stopped when the male neighbour came and told her to shut up and stop it and get in. We live in an area where people's fences are regularly snapped,pulled off. My children are scared to go through the garden unless I escort them incase she starts to shout n swear at them. My question is what can i do to stop this woman from terrorising my children and for her to accept that as the council has informed her I can use her garden as access. Thanks in advance for any suggestions.

[atticus]

I have broken that long stream into paragraphs in an attempt to make it readable.

Hi. I'm new to this site but in urgent need or advise.... The post is long winded but explains what is going on... please read... any advise is welcome....

I have lived in my council house for just over 3 years now. I was informed by the council upon taking my tenancy that I have the right to use the access/right of way from my back garden through the neighbours garden. Previously we occasionally used the gate from our back garden through my neighbours garden for the larger household items to be brought in as the front entrance way to my house is well.. front door 2/3 ft forward then stairs and 2/3ft wide then doorway into living room.

They own their house and presume that because of this they can dictate what I can use the access for and when and that I also have to knock on for permission beforehand.

We never had crossed words until around 3/4 weeks ago when we had a big overhaul of the back garden and the skip was in the front garden. Our contractor was making trips back and forth obviously through the neighbours garden. This took place Wednesday and Thursday of that particular week then on the Friday I picked up my 2 sons new bikes. As I made my way to my back garden with them I noticed the neighbour had placed a bolt on the bottom of the wooden 4/5ft gate on their side. I un bloted it and took in the bikes I then proceed to leave it unbolted as i knew my sons would be out on them the following day and I was unable to unlock that bolt due to its position and the 4inch screws they used to secure it to a fence panel.

Saturday morning around 10 I unlocked my side and theres of the access gate to find the bottom bolt had been locked I pushed it oped and the lock gave out. This did not damage the fence only bent the bolt. The male neighbour was in and out of his garden throughout the day and said nothing. (I was in the garden painting.

Around 1 in the afternoon the female neighbour proceeds to approach the gate I am painting and started to shout,swear and be aggressive to me infront of my children saying that I have damaged her property and that i cannot go through the garden unless for bins. I informed her that I can go through for reason other than the bins as that's what I have been told.

She then went on to threaten me with the solicitors and the rspca because my dog barks and snarls at hers when it approaches the fence. (Her dog bit my dogs muzzle through the fence within the 1st week of us moving in). She does not stop her dog from approaching the fence,hers is a small terrier type mine is a large Staffordshire bull terrier.

I informed my housing officer of the altercation and this led to a letter being sent to the neighbours informing them to remove the lock and also of their rights and mine. That's what my housing officer informed me it would say.

On Wednesday of this week 1 of my sons took his bike out while my other son and niece of 6 were playing in the garden. As they were trying to lock the gate the female came out and started to verbally abuse them including using the f*** word at them. I went out and told her not to speak to them like that and to approach me if she has an issue. Again I got aggressive verbal abuse. She also stated that she was removing the gate between the two houses and then I would be accountable if my dog attacked hers or her grandchildren.

I do not believe this would be the case as they have removed my metal gate post to install their wooden gate and fence attaching thier post slightly over onto the wall of my rented property. Her dog chases and barks at us when we are using the access. Her calling it's name does not stop it.

My son who was home with my niece then went into the front garden as my niece was scared to stay in the back because of the neighbours outburst. They played with a rubber/foam type football. It accidentally went into there front garden/driveway and tapped their brand new bisablity car which resulted in the male neighbour aggressively verbally abusing them also using the f*** word. I went out and repeated my previous statement as to speaking to the children in that way. The guy closed the window.

I believe the garden they use as a driveway is not legal as there is no drop curb. They park diagonally across the garden preventing us from using the single access gate. Again causing concern regarding if the car was caught by the bikes or furniture who would be liable.

Thursday morning as the office opened I informed my housing of these 2 altercations. About 4.30 that day I received a call from my housing officer. Neighbours had received the letter from the council and wanted to let the council know as to why she placed the bottom lock on the gate because she feared my dog would get through it and attack hers and because she was dog sitting someone else's dog. She has done this every year we have been here.(My wheelie bin is in front of the gate also).

My housing officer asked that I make sure to lock gates and use the single gate not the driveway gates. I explained the way they park and that I didn't think it was a legal driveway due to not having a drop curb and also my anxiety at who would be liable for damage if it occoured to the car. It being on a none legal drive and them blocking the single gate access.

Housing officer then contacted neighbours to inform them not to block the single gate access. I presume that they have been informed of some issues with them parking in garden/driveway and liability of damages because since this call took place the car is parked out on the road side and only transferred onto the garden/driveway after dark when my children would already be inside with their bikes.

Friday roughly 6/7 in the evening my son along with his friend both on bikes came though to my back garden closing and locking the gates,not latches but bolts to fix a punctured tyre on my sons friends bike. On their way back out the female neighbour again aggressively verbally started to abuse them from the window as they made their way out of her garden. I went to the front garden because of the abuse I could hear from inside my house. The female neighbour was screeching at the group of children. I have twin boys each had 3 to 4 friends with them outside my front garden. The female then came outside and approached the fence to my garden and again administered some agressive verbal abuse towards me while waving her arms around all the while the children a group 8/10 where present.

In her opinion my children's friends cannot come into my back garden with their bikes we should leave them out front. We cannot leave anything of value out in the front garden. We have had 2 bikes stolen and a seg way in daylight that my neighbour over the road chased the thief down to recover. She then went on to accuse my son with the rubber ball on the previous incident of snapping 1 of her fence panels,this did not occur as it was intact when I told the male neighbour not to speak to the children in that way. She only went inside and stopped when the male neighbour came and told her to shut up and stop it and get in. We live in an area where people's fences are regularly snapped,pulled off. My children are scared to go through the garden unless I escort them incase she starts to shout n swear at them.

My question is what can i do to stop this woman from terrorising my children and for her to accept that as the council has informed her I can use her garden as access. Thanks in advance for any suggestions.

[DE DOGS]

This was my cure for roughly the same problem, (in no way copy do what I did), I had been to Nicaragua. Sth America, first flight to at land at Heathrow, home by 7oc, it started, they did not realise I was back, again it started from next door, it was the woman who did all the prompting, husband followed, after weeks of this abuse I had enough, I then proceed to reply in a very aggressive manner, we had had enough, strange how when you stand up to bullies how they back down, our ex neighbours packed up and moved on in months.