Hi all. Looking for slander advice!

[Father_Dave]

Hi everyone, I hope this forum is full of experienced clever people!
I've just finished being roughhoused by my ex wife, lying about me in family court, her barristers behaviour being dreadful.
Anyway, now that business has been settled, I'm going to take her to court for the slander she posted about me on Facebook.

But where do I even begin?

[echat11]

R0b Celestine Can you please take a look and advise, many thanks.

[des8]

Don't is my advice, unless you have deep pockets

But if you intend to proceed first read and understand the Defamation Act 2013
Then there are the preaction protocols to follow (https://www.justice.gov.uk/courts/pr...tocol/prot_def)

And bear in mind that if your ex wife does not agree to the case being heard in County court you will have to commence proceedings in the Queens Bench Division of the High Court.
This link will give you a rough idea of what is required and the possible starting costs:
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/queens-b...contract%20law.

[Celestine]

I’d have to agree with Des sorry, especially a case involving divorcing couples.
You have to show direct financial loss and you cannot sue if her libelous comments are just opinions.
So….”Mean, aggressive bully” would be ok; whereas “He steals money and is a criminal etc” could be defamatory.

[echat11]

Ask Facebook to remove them.

[islandgirl]

What is the FB equivalent of today's news being tomorrow's chip paper? It may be best to move on. Your true friends know the truth, the opinions of people you will never meet don't matter and as for the rest....

[echat11]

What is the FB equivalent of today's news being tomorrow's chip paper? It may be best to move on. Your true friends know the truth, the opinions of people you will never meet don't matter and as for the rest....

Everyone has a different level of tolerance, so what might seem 'innocuous' to us, might really 'upset' someone else.

The 'thresholds' for slander, defamation etc are very high.

[islandgirl]

I agree - just being upset is not enough

[Father_Dave]

Thanks for these replies, I very much appreciate it.

The old "seeking revenge, be prepared to dig two graves" addage is sadly here. I am very much keeping this in mind.

We're not divorcing, that happened in 2018. Clean break order made etc. I agreed she could have more than half of the house and she signed away claims to my pension. She never worked a single day in the 10years we were together so I thought she got a good deal.

Since we seperated in 2017 we had our daughter 50/50 each. Fine for a year but in 2018 she began a campaign with her new chap (a longstanding McKenzie friend who fancied himself a trainee barrister and thought himself very clever). She lied about me to social services, to police, I was arrested (I might well want to pursue that against them), and me and my family endured attack after attack. Every time family matters moved forward, she would try something else. I'd go into more details but not here. Suffice it is to say that the family court matter is over and I continue to parent at 50%. I used a direct access barrister, no solicitor, but still spent far more than I could afford.

It's a revenge thing. I'm not going to dress it up. This hideous liar hurt me and my family over and over and I want some payback. Although nothing will compare with what she put us through.

Anyway all family court matters are confidential in discussion, but the things she attempted and did outside of court to attempt to influence others, and sabotage my life, that's not protected by confidentiality.

She overstepped herself when she posted on Facebook that she would rant long and loud about her controlling ex husband, she had an attached retina from an assault but it came with no black eye, and as with other victims of DV she should not and will not try to persuade others that it happened.

I never laid a hand on her, and this plus other twisted forms of "her truth" damaged my reputation then and there.

When my daughter discovered these postings I contacted police and Facebook and I think they were removed.

I have zero depth to my pockets but I'm considering saving for the application, representing myself at hearings and letting her sink in her own financial costs. I very much expect she would fail to see the sense in retraction, and financial sense in a token out of court settlement.

But the links kindly supplied above will be the start of my reading!

[des8]

Revenge might be a dish best served cold, but unfortunately whilst waiting for it to cool off the clock is ticking.
You only have 12 months from the time of the alleged defamatory statement in which to initiate proceedings

[echat11]

I'd be channeling my energies elsewhere, a book, a film script, art etc, might be more productive.

[MIKE770]

that old slander cases which very few ever succeeded, divorced move on. out of pocket only gainers are the paper pushers in office preparing nonsensical cases?

[islandgirl]

You had an awful experience but it is over. Do not go back into it would be my advice, The urge for revenge is strong, I know, but I am firm believer in karma. There will be a point where you can get revenge but the courts are most likely not the way to do it. And you daughter will be caught in the middle. The decision is, of course, entirely yours.

[Celestine]

Great advice from all.
Best revenge??
Be a far better parent than her…that way you have years of shared happiness ahead with your daughter.
Also: Be happy….that really annoys them

[Father_Dave]

Well I've looked at the screen grabs and the date these messages were posted were on or around the 15th December 2020. Therefore I've run out of time. I feel very deflated.
Seems like her and her partner get away with the horrendous things they wrote about me.
Not only that, reading through it just cuts me up.
She stated she was in an abusive marriage, claimed to be a victim of domestic violence, she claimed she'd had a detached retina from an assault. Her partner wrote "violent, abusive, manipulate, insecure, narcissistic controlling men hide their true natures from the world and many hold respectible positions in society, for example as teachers."
(Yes, I'm a teacher.)
Everyone on that thread who knows me, half knows me or met me at some family function will think I'm some awful closet monster, and I've no voice or ability to say otherwise.
I don't believe in Karma either.
She attacked me and my girlfriend over and over. Every six months (when a family court directions hearing would close with no gains for her, or a cafcass report would continue to state both parents provided adequately for our daughter) she tried something new. Three years I had to suffer on this. Firstly she claimed I was emotionally abusive and shouted at my daughter and neglected her, not giving her breakfast.
SIx months later when this was found not to be true she called police the week before the next hearing and claimed I'd been harassing her and sending malicious messages.
I was dragged out of my house and my phone seized.
Instantly dropped when they looked in my phone of course.
Six months on she calls police claiming I'm a rapist. I'm questioned on that. Utterly humiliating. Six months after that my exgirlfriend telephones me upset and worried about me because my ex wife had been messaging her and others trying to collect dirt on me. Then she's on Facebook telling people she's been a victim of domestic violence. Then this year shes told the police I'm into animal porn! The police seize all my computers and my phone yet again! (Obviously I got my stuff back but it was very humiliating and really awful avoiding explaining to friends why my phone was lost and I'd missed social contact). I ended up having to walk around with a piece of paper in my pocket with family phone numbers on it just in case I'm arrested and phone seized. I lived in fear if I saw a police car in my street, always expecting that she'd tried something else.
I didn't miss a day off work and kept my head high because I knew the truth but I was utterly humiliated every time I had to report the newest allegation to principal at school.
I know full well I've missed out on two overdue promotions because of this dirt.
She's some kind of mental attention seeker that thrives off pretending to be a victim, and my family and I have suffered at her and her boyfriends campaign.
I appreciate there is truth in saying "live a good life" but by christ I really wanted some payback on this vampire. My family and I deserved it.


EDIT: This post was auto-unapproved by our over-enthusiastic spam filter, so I have re-approved it. EXC.