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My Mum having died and been buried and her name engraved on the headstone - I then signed the grave rights over to her remaining 4 siblings - they then applied to the council to have the headstone removed and " Altered " the council turned this down due to the nominated mason not being on their list of approved masons - however the stone was still removed and my mums name removed. The council's own policy and procedures state that any unautherized alterations shall be put right at the plot owners expense or via the council footing the bill and claiming it back from the owners. Despite all my efforts to get the council to do this they are claiming it to be a civil matter between me and the siblings. Dont know what my option are from here on ??? As a matter of note my mum paid for the the headstone originally and I paid for her name to be added and I have bills for both ??
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Why have the siblings done this! Why have they removed her headstone and now you say they have removed her name??!!! The name that is on the gravestone should be what has been recorded on the burial plans.
This sounds horrendous!
Have you spoken to the local reverend?
Can I ask why you signed over the rights to the siblings?
This sounds so unpleasant and stressful for you!!
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Just to clarify the headstone was put back minus mums name - the grave is now full except for the buriel of ashes - Her siblings told me they wanted ownership to ensure their ashes could be put in when they died - after signing it over they then told me my mum had no right to be put in the grave and one of them should have had the space. We now have a standoff situation were they own the grave but I own the headstone and the council dont want to get involved. It's all a mess !!Originally posted by Kezwhi View PostComment
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Oh my good god, so let me get this right- you have your mother’s ashes? Her siblings have said she cannot be put to rest at the burial plot?
That’s good you have proof of purchasing the headstone, where is the burial plot? Is it at a church graveyard?
I would ring Citizens advice now!! Please let us know how you get on. The siblings are terrible and really must be held accountable for these disgusting actions.
I have had something similar happen, someone changed my grandmother’s name on her gravestone plaque so I know exactly what you are going through. Some people are just vile.
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No My grandad originally bought the plot with a capacity of three coffins and 8 ashes to put him and his wife in -after they both died the plot passed to my mum via his will - when mum died it passed to me via her will and she was interned in the last coffin space- then all this happened - so now I have my mum in a grave without her name on the headstone which I now own !!Originally posted by Kezwhi View PostComment
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Right I understand, sorry, what a horrible situation. I spoke with my local reverend to help me understand the legality of my situation. Could you do the same? If not, you really are going to have to look at getting legal advice- you could ring citizens advice first. Then you could utilise free half an hour advice from local solicitors- go to more than one. You would win your case hands down as they will be appalled that your mother is buried in a grave where her name has been removed. You have proof she purchased the headstone, you have proof you were tricked into signing over the rights to the plot- have you got text messages from the siblings as that will support your case. If you speak with a reverend make sure it’s through email like I did, so again you have evidence to support you seeking advice and that they have acted badly.Comment
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I may go down that line in the future but currently it's the hands of the government ombudsman who may be able to force the council to carry out it's policies and get the siblings to reinstate the headstone to what it was ( ie with mums name on ) at their cost. Failing that and given the fact that I still own the headstone I may inform the council that i wish to remove the headstone ( it being lawfully my property ) It's been amazing how many people don't want to get involved with this ie the council local MP ect ect !!Originally posted by Kezwhi View PostComment
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The local MP and council would soon do something if it was their mother’s headstone!! It’s not on! Hope you get resolution soon as it must be very stressful.Comment
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Anyone on here know what the legalities of me removing the headstone ( which I own ) ??Originally posted by Doz View Post
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you have to pay council a fee to remove it and then again to set it back there, called trespass or something like that = I paid a company to take one away and refurbish it most cost was the councils feesComment
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I know it's been a while, but I can't even imagine what it feels like to have your mother's name removed from her grave. That's something so personal and meaningful, and it must be heartbreaking to see it changed like that.Comment
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