Awful Dad jokes!

[slainte caragh]

Little bit of fun, post your worst daddy jokes here

The more groanworthy the better!

Why can't you give Queen Elsa a balloon?
Cos she might LET IT GOOOOOOOOO!!!

[Kati]

Re: Awful Dad jokes!

Little bit of fun, post your worst daddy jokes here

The more groanworthy the better!

My fella has the worst DAD jokes ever ... I'll post some up tomorrow (after the beers have stopped making my spelling worse than it already is lol)

[Kati]

Re: Awful Dad jokes!

although:

A furniture store keeps calling me. All I wanted was one night stand.

How do you make a tissue dance?



you put a boogie in it!

[slainte caragh]

Re: Awful Dad jokes!

What's the difference between a buffalo and a bison?
You can't wash your hands in a buffalo!

[Kati]

Re: Awful Dad jokes!

I been perfecting my bread making skills all day!

I've already done baguettes and bloomers.

I'm on a roll now.

- - - Updated - - -

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans including a southerner a New Englander, and a Californian, an Argentinian, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovakian, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uraguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahamanian, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Kyrgyzstani, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 47 to 53 Africans walk into a fine restaurant.
.
"I'm sorry," said the snooty maître d' "but you can't come in here without a Thai".

[slainte caragh]

Re: Awful Dad jokes!

Whats the difference between a soldier and a sailor?
You can't dip a sailor in a boiled egg!!

[Kati]

Re: Awful Dad jokes!

Why didn't the cheese want to get sliced? It had grater plans

[slainte caragh]

Re: Awful Dad jokes!

Man locks himself out of his car, he tries everything but without the keys that are sitting in the ignition.. nothing
I'm talking it's raining, I'm getting wet and I'm late for work screwed!
Suddenly a soldier appears and says "I know what to do!"
He rubs his leg up against the car door and *POP* they open!
"That was incredible!" Cries the car owner "How did you do that?"
Soldier smiles, points to his leg and advises "Khaki trousers!"

------------------------------------------------------------
After a blizzard a farmer is devestated to see his cows all standing frozen solid!
"I'm RUINED!" He cried,.
An old lady smiled and said "Don't worry love, I know what to do!"
She went and touched each cow and BINGO they were back full of the joys of spring!
"That was amazing!" says the farmer as the old woman wandered off "Who was that incredible old lady?"
"Oh didn't you recognise her? she was that actress..... Thora Hird!!"

[Kati]

Re: Awful Dad jokes!

what do you call a Deer with no eyes?

No idea!!

(not quite a 'dad' joke ... this is from my 17yr old son )

[seduraed]

Re: Awful Dad jokes!

Why are there no asprin in the jungle? Cos parrots et em all.

[dogtired]

Re: Awful Dad jokes!

What happens when it's raining cats and dogs?
You step into a Poodle!

[Kati]

Re: Awful Dad jokes!

How do you make Holy water?

Boil the hell out of it

[charitynjw]

Re: Awful Dad jokes!

[dogtired]

Re: Awful Dad jokes!

Have you heard of a Tupperware Bra?
It doesn't do much for your figure but it keeps what you have fresh!

[Kati]

Re: Awful Dad jokes!

Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard?


A barber.