Makes you want to weep (with anger)

[Froggy]

Re: Makes you want to weep (with anger)

I think the judgement is a better read than her ghost writing book. Amethyst, get yourself a cuppa and read the short story of the end of Lady Mucca and Lord Mucca.

[PJ69]

Re: Makes you want to weep (with anger)

Thought this quite appropriate

[Amy]

Re: Makes you want to weep (with anger)

ROFL!

I got to the second page and she wants "compensation for loss of earnings."

I should think she does, she'll never have such an easy job in her life again.

[stevokenevo]

Re: Makes you want to weep (with anger)

It is the most interesting judgement I have read, .

How many judgements have you read??

[Paule]

Re: Makes you want to weep (with anger)

Ok All the jokes Out in the Open

It's a very sad world we live in when Sir Paul McCartney and his wife are facing divorce and all anyone seems to want to do is make jokes about her false leg...
Personally, I think it's prosthetic!


News reports have confirmed that Paul McCartney has separated from his wife Heather Mills- McCartney.
Mrs Mills- McCartney is said to be distraught over the split. "He has been my crutch for so long"! She said in an earlier briefing, I have no idea why this has happened, I'm stumped?
"Shes running around in circles", according to a close friend, she will need all the support she can get its not like its easy to walk out on a relationship like this?


It is not known whether a pre-nuptial agreement was signed prior to the marriage, Paul McCartney is one of the richest men in the world amassing a colossal wealth due to his participation with The Beatles and subsequent musical collaborations, if an agreement hasn't been signed it is believed that she wont have a leg to stand on.


Rumours abound over the split have suggested that infidelity may have been the cause. Shes terrible a source stated, "always trying to get her leg over".


Another source has suggested that her battle with alcoholism was the cause. "Macca couldn't handle it anymore" a friend said, "he would get home at night and find her legless?"


Many have attributed this to a problem which started with the present that Paul had got prior to the wedding; he gave her a new Prosthetic leg for Christmas but that was just a stocking-filler. The main gift was a plane but then he gave her a Lady-Shave for the other leg.

Apparently she wants to keep the plane he bought her for Christmas, she says shell buy her own Immac for the other leg!


A poem by Sir Paul McCartney -
I lay upon a grassy bank
My hands were all a quiver
I slowly removed her suspender belt
and her leg fell in the river


A Miner in Africa has an accident and loses a leg. He says to his mate I'm ****ed, who will want a one legged gold digger? His mate says try Paul McCartney


Q: What had 3 legs and lived on a farm?
A: The McCartneys


These jokes are funny but lets spare a thought for Paul please. Now she has left him, he's going to struggle to find another lady that can fill her shoe.

[scarletrose]

Re: Makes you want to weep (with anger)

OMG I'm crying ROFLMFAO that hilarious well done PK.

[Guest]

Re: Makes you want to weep (with anger)

After agreeing the divorce settlement the Judge said to Heather "Now hop it."

A journalist asked Paul McCartney if he'll ever go down on one knee again. Paul replied that, although they were divorced, he'd prefer it if the press referred to her as "Heather."

Poor Paul McCartney, I bet Heather is limping all the way to the bank.

[Amy]

Re: Makes you want to weep (with anger)

Actually, I take back all that I have said about her above. She ONLY wanted £40k for wine.

Poor woman.

[Guest]

Re: Makes you want to weep (with anger)

Q. What has three legs and used to live on a farm?
A. Paul and Heather McCartney.

[Paule]

Re: Makes you want to weep (with anger)

I think that the reference to her alcoholism may have something to do with the split. Apparently she has a taste for Special Brew and is said to be able to drink 50 cans in a session. 50 Cans !!! Good grief, that woman must have hollow legs!

And lastly. After her outburst on UK TV, a medical spokesperson said that she was "clearly unbalanced" - Sir Paul phoned in & advised that placing a book under her leg usually did the trick.

[scarletrose]

Re: Makes you want to weep (with anger)

After agreeing the divorce settlement the Judge said to Heather "Now hop it."

A journalist asked Paul McCartney if he'll ever go down on one knee again. Paul replied that, although they were divorced, he'd prefer it if the press referred to her as "Heather."

Poor Paul McCartney, I bet Heather is limping all the way to the bank.

LMFAO so funny

And Amy thats disgraceful only £40k for wine is that for the rest of her life ??????

[Nattie]

Re: Makes you want to weep (with anger)

Do you know that they are not actually divorced because those proceedings will follow the settlement. Heather Mills then has a libel case pending which could throw up more muck on a torrid affair.

[Sapphire]

Re: Makes you want to weep (with anger)

Not a bad career move is it - marriage !

[Amy]

Re: Makes you want to weep (with anger)

The only thing Heather Mills seems to have succeeded with is to take 25 years off Fiona Shackleton using nothing more than a jug of water.

[Paule]

Re: Makes you want to weep (with anger)

Well she is putting her feet up, now th ecase is over