Friday smile

[charitynjw]

Re: Friday smile

Grizzly bear goes in to a bar and says "Can I please have a double............ Scotch on the rocks!"
Barman nods and says "Why the big pause?"
Bear says "I was born with em!!"

One of them was bandaged.
The grizzly threw back his drink in one gulp, turned to the bartender & said....



"I'm looking fer the man that shot my paw"

[slainte caragh]

Re: Friday smile

I can't say what my sister does for a living

She sells seashells on the seashore!

[slainte caragh]

Re: Friday smile

What's worse than a bull in a china shop?
Hedgehogs in a condom factory!

[wales01man]

Re: Friday smile

What's worse than a bull in a china shop?

Hedgehogs in a condom factory!

Bad joke Friday SC not your usual standard

[slainte caragh]

Re: Friday smile

Bad joke Friday SC not your usual standard

I know, couldn't resist it though!

To make up for it,

an Alien lands in the city and goes in to a pub, he says "could I have a pint of lager please?"
"Nope!" Says the barman, "I don't serve Aliens."
"Ok, what if I buy you a pint too?" Asks the Alien.
"Nope, I don't serve Aliens!"
The Alien groans and says "What if I buy every single person in this pub a pint?"
Not wishing to lose out on money, the barman agrees. Smiling he says "That will be £5,635.67"
The Alien nods, produces a wallet and asks "Have you got change of a Flobadob?"

[slainte caragh]

Re: Friday smile

Why don't you know if a pterodactyl has used your toilet?The P is silent!!

[PAWS]

Not that funny but I wanted to test the new layout!!!!

Health and safety gone mad!

[des8]

I Photo????? I counted 46 when clicked on!

[Kati]

I Photo????? I counted 46 when clicked on!

looks like the upgrade has bunched our photos on a thread into albums xx

[PAWS]

For an awful minute I thought 46 photos from my hard drive had gone on!!!!!!
Right I will try this!

[slainte caragh]

I laughed far too hard!!

[PAWS]

Right, starting to get the hang of this new layout!

[Crazy council]

[slainte caragh]

A lady goes to walmart and asks for 36 cans of liver whiskas (cat food), the cashier says "Oh you have lots of cats!"
"No" says the woman, "I put it in my husband's sandwiches for work!"
The worker warns her this could kill her husband but the lady insists.
2 weeks later the same cashier is serving the same lady and casually says "Oh, no liver whiskas this time?"
"No," says the lady "He's dead!"
"Oh god!!" Cries the cashier," I told you that you would kill him!"
"It wasn't the whiskas that killed him!" Retorts the lady "He broke his neck trying to lick his backside!"

[slainte caragh]

sorry I just got told this by my best mate Nich and it is too funny not to share, even as tired as I am I laughed my arse off!

Mr. Marcus is on his deathbed and knows the end is near.
The nurse, his wife, daughter and 2 sons, are with him.

He asks that 2 witnesses be present and a camcorder in place to record his last wishes, and when all is ready he begins to speak:

"To my son, Bernie, I want you to take the Mayfair houses."
"My daughter Sybil, you take the apartments over in the east end."
"My son, Jamie, I want you to take the offices over in the City Centre.
"Sarah, my dear wife, please take all the residential buildings on the east bank of the river."

The nurse and witnesses are blown away as they did not realize the extent of his real estate holdings, and as Mr. Marcus slips away, the nurse says, "Mrs. Marcus , your husband must have worked very hard to have accumulated so much property".

To which the wife replied, "The ass-hole had a paper route."