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TV Licensing - Excuses, excuses, excuses
Excuses, excuses, excuses
We've heard them all, most of them more than once. But we thought we'd share some of the more imaginative ones here.The one that didn't get away
An Enforcement Officer could see the TV in use from the road. The householder said he did not have a TV. The officer said he saw the TV, to which, the householder said that what he saw was not a TV but a fishtank. The officer then asked if the fish was called Michael. The man was mildly amused and relented.
Comedy timing
While visiting a property that was listed as not having a licence, one of our officers could see through the living room window that there was a TV there. He couldn't get an answer, so decided to call back later that evening. When he came back he walked up the garden path behind a man. The man rang the bell but didn't get an answer, so he shouted through the letterbox "It's ok, it's only Steve - it's not the TV Licensing man." The door was duly opened and when the owner of the house asked who the Enforcement Officer was he replied "I'm the TV Licensing man."The red light - destroyer of damp
A woman claimed to the Enforcement Officer that she did not have a TV, even though he could see one behind her in the corner of the room. When he asked her about it she exclaimed, "Oh, that one...it's broken". He told her that there was a red light on at the bottom. She replied "Oh, that wee red light, I just keep that on as it keeps the damp from getting into it".Milking it
An Enforcement Officer knocked on the door of a suspected evader and asked if he had a TV, to which, the owner said he did not.
The observant officer then asked "Well why have you got a satellite dish on the outside of your house then?"
The man looked down and said with a grin "I have 2 pints of milk on my doorstep Son, but I don't have a cow in the garden!"Sky or SKY?
When interviewing a woman in London, an Enforcement Officer asked during the conversation if she had Sky. "Yes", she replied. He proceeded to ask her what channels she watched on Sky and she answered, "I haven't got Sky". A little confused, the Enforcement Officer reminded her that she had just told him that she had Sky. "Yes, that's right, she's in the pram." She replied, pointing to her daughter.The vicious tomcat
A young woman said that she didn't have a television and the Enforcement Officers asked if they could check. The woman said it was safe only as far as the hallway, as she would have to remove her cat, which was hostile and vicious towards strangers. The officers said that they would take a chance, but the lady insisted that it would be too dangerous, so the officers were left in the hall while she disappeared into the lounge. At that moment a ginger tomcat appeared from the kitchen. The officers stood rooted to the spot as this feline meowed and purred towards them, and then started to stroke itself against their legs. At the same time, the movement of furniture could be heard from the lounge, only to be interrupted by the occasional call of "come here Tilly you naughty cat" and "I won't be a minute, I've nearly caught him".
The officers by this time had picked the cat up and were playing with it. One of them called through the door "What colour is the cat?" The lady replied "Ginger, with a red collar". The description perfectly matched that of the cat in the hall. A minute later the lady appeared saying that it was OK to enter, so the officer returned the cat to her, and retrieved the television set from the balcony.Supersonic detection
While visiting a property that was listed as not having a TV Licence a woman answered the door together with some young children. The woman apologised for being in such a fluster and explained that she had just moved in and was just on her way out to collect the other children from school.
The Enforcement Officer asked if she had managed to get a TV Licence sorted. She said she had and she knew exactly where it was - in a shoebox on top of the wardrobe in the upstairs front bedroom. She asked if the he could call back later.
When he returned, the woman's husband answered the door. The Enforcement Officer asked if he could see the TV Licence. The man explained that they were in a bit of a state as they had just moved in and he didn't know where the licence was, his wife normally looked after that sort of thing.
At the exact moment that the officer explained that the licence was in a shoebox on top of the wardrobe in the upstairs front bedroom - a detector van drove past. "Flippin' heck," the man said, "I knew your detector vans were good but I didn't know they were that good."
Excuses, excuses, excuses
We've heard them all, most of them more than once. But we thought we'd share some of the more imaginative ones here.The one that didn't get awayAn Enforcement Officer could see the TV in use from the road. The householder said he did not have a TV. The officer said he saw the TV, to which, the householder said that what he saw was not a TV but a fishtank. The officer then asked if the fish was called Michael. The man was mildly amused and relented.Comedy timing
While visiting a property that was listed as not having a licence, one of our officers could see through the living room window that there was a TV there. He couldn't get an answer, so decided to call back later that evening. When he came back he walked up the garden path behind a man. The man rang the bell but didn't get an answer, so he shouted through the letterbox "It's ok, it's only Steve - it's not the TV Licensing man." The door was duly opened and when the owner of the house asked who the Enforcement Officer was he replied "I'm the TV Licensing man."The red light - destroyer of dampA woman claimed to the Enforcement Officer that she did not have a TV, even though he could see one behind her in the corner of the room. When he asked her about it she exclaimed, "Oh, that one...it's broken". He told her that there was a red light on at the bottom. She replied "Oh, that wee red light, I just keep that on as it keeps the damp from getting into it".Milking itAn Enforcement Officer knocked on the door of a suspected evader and asked if he had a TV, to which, the owner said he did not. The observant officer then asked "Well why have you got a satellite dish on the outside of your house then?"
The man looked down and said with a grin "I have 2 pints of milk on my doorstep Son, but I don't have a cow in the garden!"Sky or SKY?
When interviewing a woman in London, an Enforcement Officer asked during the conversation if she had Sky. "Yes", she replied. He proceeded to ask her what channels she watched on Sky and she answered, "I haven't got Sky". A little confused, the Enforcement Officer reminded her that she had just told him that she had Sky. "Yes, that's right, she's in the pram." She replied, pointing to her daughter.The vicious tomcatA young woman said that she didn't have a television and the Enforcement Officers asked if they could check. The woman said it was safe only as far as the hallway, as she would have to remove her cat, which was hostile and vicious towards strangers. The officers said that they would take a chance, but the lady insisted that it would be too dangerous, so the officers were left in the hall while she disappeared into the lounge. At that moment a ginger tomcat appeared from the kitchen. The officers stood rooted to the spot as this feline meowed and purred towards them, and then started to stroke itself against their legs. At the same time, the movement of furniture could be heard from the lounge, only to be interrupted by the occasional call of "come here Tilly you naughty cat" and "I won't be a minute, I've nearly caught him". The officers by this time had picked the cat up and were playing with it. One of them called through the door "What colour is the cat?" The lady replied "Ginger, with a red collar". The description perfectly matched that of the cat in the hall. A minute later the lady appeared saying that it was OK to enter, so the officer returned the cat to her, and retrieved the television set from the balcony.
Supersonic detectionWhile visiting a property that was listed as not having a TV Licence a woman answered the door together with some young children. The woman apologised for being in such a fluster and explained that she had just moved in and was just on her way out to collect the other children from school. The Enforcement Officer asked if she had managed to get a TV Licence sorted. She said she had and she knew exactly where it was - in a shoebox on top of the wardrobe in the upstairs front bedroom. She asked if the he could call back later.
When he returned, the woman's husband answered the door. The Enforcement Officer asked if he could see the TV Licence. The man explained that they were in a bit of a state as they had just moved in and he didn't know where the licence was, his wife normally looked after that sort of thing.
At the exact moment that the officer explained that the licence was in a shoebox on top of the wardrobe in the upstairs front bedroom - a detector van drove past. "Flippin' heck," the man said, "I knew your detector vans were good but I didn't know they were that good."
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