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My Scouse mate has just got his kids a trampoline off the internet for Christmas, I asked him which site he saw it on ....He replied Google earth.
Appologies to any scousers no insult intended (my fella is a scouser!)
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Teacher is going round the class asking all the children what they want to be when they grow up, it eventually comes round to little Johnny .... "so Johnny what do you want to do when your older" asks the teacher. Johnny replies "I want to be a millionaire and have a b*tch, and I'll buy my b*tch lots of nice clothes and expensive jewellery and take her on holidays around the world on a private jet, we'll have sex 5 times a day on my own private island" the teacher is shocked and has no idea how to reply, so just moves on to the next child "ok ahem .... and Rebecca what do you want to be when your older?! Rebecca replies "Johnny's b*tch"
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On her death bed my wife called me over and asked me to open a box under the bed. Inside I found three eggs and £2,000 in cash. "What are the eggs for?" I asked. She replied "each time we had crap sex I would put an egg in the box" Hmmm thought the guy, not bad - 3 eggs in 35 years, "what about the cash?" she replied "well everytime I got a dozen I sold them for £1"
Appologies to any scousers no insult intended (my fella is a scouser!)
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Teacher is going round the class asking all the children what they want to be when they grow up, it eventually comes round to little Johnny .... "so Johnny what do you want to do when your older" asks the teacher. Johnny replies "I want to be a millionaire and have a b*tch, and I'll buy my b*tch lots of nice clothes and expensive jewellery and take her on holidays around the world on a private jet, we'll have sex 5 times a day on my own private island" the teacher is shocked and has no idea how to reply, so just moves on to the next child "ok ahem .... and Rebecca what do you want to be when your older?! Rebecca replies "Johnny's b*tch"
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On her death bed my wife called me over and asked me to open a box under the bed. Inside I found three eggs and £2,000 in cash. "What are the eggs for?" I asked. She replied "each time we had crap sex I would put an egg in the box" Hmmm thought the guy, not bad - 3 eggs in 35 years, "what about the cash?" she replied "well everytime I got a dozen I sold them for £1"
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