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I was raised by a very free thinking, loving mum.. and a mad lovable psuedosensible Irish father, the words to Our House it us well..
Theres always something happening/and its usually quite loud. All in all it was harmonious, but dad was always up to no good.
I can remember sitting down with my cousin Bernadette and listening to his tales of Ireland and the mayhem him and his siblings caused!
Put the coffees down people this is gonna be funny.
Dad grew up in Sligo, a sleepy seaside town in Ireland where everyone knew each other and everyone got on.
Except Dad and Mr Pheeny who ran the local shop.
The shop was on the corner or Oconnell street and Kings street, if i remember rightly, and you could walk through and cut the corner off, as long as you bought something. Well dad and his mates would go in, one would spend a penny or suchlike on a bar of chocolate and all 9 of them would traipse through muddy booted and smelling of whatever field they had all rolled in.
Pheeny soon wised up and started to chase them out, WHAT A MISTAKE!!
The developed a game, one would walk the length of the street, about another 10 mins walk, and the others would wait till they heard a loud wet raspberry and PHEENY WITH THE GOATS HEAD!! then they would all charge through the shop while Pheeny chased the little toerag who had shouted down the street. Soon the Gaurda (Irish police) became involved and they put Paddy Kelly on the job, problem was Paddy Kelly was 6'5 before he put the helmet on!
Anyhow, this particular day, it was Dad's turn, he trudges round all innocent "Well good morning Mrs Kilpatrick lovely day isnt it" that sort of thing" he wanders up and sees 2 things, firstly Granny Charlton (my grandma, his mum) and secondly, the top of a gaurd's helmet over the door, so without missing a beat he walks in the shop. "Good Morning Mr Pheeny, is it not a lovely day, Mum will be in soon, so can I have a shillings worth of chicken feed" and rattles of the shopping list she gave him that morning, comes out laden with shopping and "bumps in to" Granny. She is so impressed, she treats him to a lollipop and they begin to walk home together, past a bemused paddy Kelly.
As they reach the corner, they hear the shout PHEENY WIT DA... and turn to see an 8 year old boy acheive orbit, assisted by a Gaurd's size 14 boot up the backside!
Then there was the Case of the Cow's Head.
Some reader won't find this funny, but I did because I knew my dad, and have a very vivid imagination, but you have been warned!
Dad and his mates went out and were given 2 bob by the local butcher to take a box of "waste" to the incinirator (please note this was well before the age or health and safety). Halfway there they bumped in to Granddad Charlton, who was livid. He told Dad that one of the men in the villiage had been beating on his wife badly and that him and "The Boys" were going to go give him a pasting. The noticed the box and asked what was in it? They opened it and found a cow's head.
This gave the spark of an idea to Dad, who ran home and asked Granny for and old sheet she wouldn't mind losing and a broomstick pole.
with the help of his dad, my dad put the head on the broomstick pole and draped the sheet like a gown over it.
Later, when the mist rolled in and the sun set, off they set to the man's house, the white sheet over them and the cow's head good 8 foot in the air. Dad and granddad issued moans and groans, and dad's mates rattled old boat chains and wailled. What the didn't count on was, the local priest leading a pilgrimage to one of them many shrines in the town. The party were confronted with this.. apparition and fell to their knees praying for salvation.. but this didn't deter the Ole Fella!
They got to the house, and granddad tapped on the bedroom window with a long stick.
The curtains opened to the wife beaters face and POP! Up went the cow's head and the shrieks and wails started again!
Dad said he had never seen a man run over a cow field in his pajamas before!
More when I think of them!
Theres always something happening/and its usually quite loud. All in all it was harmonious, but dad was always up to no good.
I can remember sitting down with my cousin Bernadette and listening to his tales of Ireland and the mayhem him and his siblings caused!
Put the coffees down people this is gonna be funny.
Dad grew up in Sligo, a sleepy seaside town in Ireland where everyone knew each other and everyone got on.
Except Dad and Mr Pheeny who ran the local shop.
The shop was on the corner or Oconnell street and Kings street, if i remember rightly, and you could walk through and cut the corner off, as long as you bought something. Well dad and his mates would go in, one would spend a penny or suchlike on a bar of chocolate and all 9 of them would traipse through muddy booted and smelling of whatever field they had all rolled in.
Pheeny soon wised up and started to chase them out, WHAT A MISTAKE!!
The developed a game, one would walk the length of the street, about another 10 mins walk, and the others would wait till they heard a loud wet raspberry and PHEENY WITH THE GOATS HEAD!! then they would all charge through the shop while Pheeny chased the little toerag who had shouted down the street. Soon the Gaurda (Irish police) became involved and they put Paddy Kelly on the job, problem was Paddy Kelly was 6'5 before he put the helmet on!
Anyhow, this particular day, it was Dad's turn, he trudges round all innocent "Well good morning Mrs Kilpatrick lovely day isnt it" that sort of thing" he wanders up and sees 2 things, firstly Granny Charlton (my grandma, his mum) and secondly, the top of a gaurd's helmet over the door, so without missing a beat he walks in the shop. "Good Morning Mr Pheeny, is it not a lovely day, Mum will be in soon, so can I have a shillings worth of chicken feed" and rattles of the shopping list she gave him that morning, comes out laden with shopping and "bumps in to" Granny. She is so impressed, she treats him to a lollipop and they begin to walk home together, past a bemused paddy Kelly.
As they reach the corner, they hear the shout PHEENY WIT DA... and turn to see an 8 year old boy acheive orbit, assisted by a Gaurd's size 14 boot up the backside!
Then there was the Case of the Cow's Head.
Some reader won't find this funny, but I did because I knew my dad, and have a very vivid imagination, but you have been warned!
Dad and his mates went out and were given 2 bob by the local butcher to take a box of "waste" to the incinirator (please note this was well before the age or health and safety). Halfway there they bumped in to Granddad Charlton, who was livid. He told Dad that one of the men in the villiage had been beating on his wife badly and that him and "The Boys" were going to go give him a pasting. The noticed the box and asked what was in it? They opened it and found a cow's head.
This gave the spark of an idea to Dad, who ran home and asked Granny for and old sheet she wouldn't mind losing and a broomstick pole.
with the help of his dad, my dad put the head on the broomstick pole and draped the sheet like a gown over it.
Later, when the mist rolled in and the sun set, off they set to the man's house, the white sheet over them and the cow's head good 8 foot in the air. Dad and granddad issued moans and groans, and dad's mates rattled old boat chains and wailled. What the didn't count on was, the local priest leading a pilgrimage to one of them many shrines in the town. The party were confronted with this.. apparition and fell to their knees praying for salvation.. but this didn't deter the Ole Fella!
They got to the house, and granddad tapped on the bedroom window with a long stick.
The curtains opened to the wife beaters face and POP! Up went the cow's head and the shrieks and wails started again!
Dad said he had never seen a man run over a cow field in his pajamas before!
More when I think of them!
