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Hypnotist At The Residential Care Home

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  • Hypnotist At The Residential Care Home

    It was entertainment night at the Residential Care Home for the Elderly. Claude the hypnotist exclaimed: "I'm here to put you into a trance; I intend to hypnotize each and every member of the audience."

    The excitement was almost electric as Claude withdrew a beautiful antique pocket watch from his coat. "I want you each to keep your eye on this antique watch. It's a very special watch. It's been in my family for six generations."

    He began to swing the watch gently back and forth while quietly chanting, "Watch the watch, watch the watch, watch the watch. . ."

    The crowd became mesmerized as the watch swayed back and forth, light gleaming off its polished surface. Hundreds of pairs eyes followed the swaying watch, until, suddenly, it slipped from the hypnotist's fingers and fell to the floor, breaking into a hundred pieces.

    "****!", said the Hypnotist.

    It took three days to clean up the Home.

    Claude was never invited back to entertain
    Tags: None

  • #2
    Re: Hypnotist At The Residential Care Home

    Jester, you're gonna have to explain that joke to me, sorry :o
    "Family means that no one gets forgotten or left behind"
    (quote from David Ogden Stiers)

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Hypnotist At The Residential Care Home

      I am getting a bit worried about you Leclerc !!!
      Maybe it's time for you to go back on the tablets !

      OK, so it's not the funniest joke ever told and the swear filter doesn't help matters.

      But hey !!! Come on !! Even my dog got the punchline !!

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Hypnotist At The Residential Care Home

        Son wants to learn hypnotism.
        Dad says "practice on someone of lower intellect".
        2 hrs later, dad finds son at goldfish bowl, going :alien:
        CAVEAT LECTOR

        This is only my opinion - "Opinions are made to be changed --or how is truth to be got at?" (Byron)

        You and I do not see things as they are. We see things as we are.
        Cohen, Herb


        There is danger when a man throws his tongue into high gear before he
        gets his brain a-going.
        Phelps, C. C.


        "They couldn't hit an elephant at this distance!"
        The last words of John Sedgwick

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Hypnotist At The Residential Care Home

          If I knew what the ******** was I might get it.....sorry, still not there......
          "Family means that no one gets forgotten or left behind"
          (quote from David Ogden Stiers)

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Hypnotist At The Residential Care Home

            SH ITE

            Poo

            Cack

            use your imagination.....
            Is no longer here

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Hypnotist At The Residential Care Home

              PMSL, I can't believe that you gave in and explained it to him Wendy.

              Somewhere in Leclerc's brain there's a little lightbulb that's just been switched on !! :loco:

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Hypnotist At The Residential Care Home

                I had to Budgie, to put us out of his misery
                Is no longer here

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Hypnotist At The Residential Care Home

                  Maybe it is time to put him in one of these homes. After all, he clearly should not be out on his own :tung:

                  I'll have a chat with the OH to see if they have any spare beds going where she works !!

                  Comment

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