Cant recall if this has already been done, but wtf lol
The Fisher King :
Jack Lucas: I'm talking to the little people!
Parry: Are they here?
Jack Lucas: They're saying, "Jack, go to the liquor store and findeth the Jack of Daniels so that ye may be ****faced!"
The Boys next door:
Bo Richards: What a screwy job.
Roy Alston: Well, our jobs are better.
Bo Richards: What, the factory?
Roy Alston: No, our jobs as fashion designers.
Bo Richards: Hey, quit complaining. It's a good job. Manufacturing. It's American!
Roy Alston: You sound like my dad. He's been going in and out of those **** box factories for thirty years. Always a week away from getting out. Alright, we start Monday but we don't get out in two months. Then it's six months. Then you wake up and it's thirty ****ing years later.
-------------------------------------------
Bo Richards: I just feel bad about that girl. I did not want to hurt her.
Roy Alston: She didn't know what hit her. we gave her two seconds of pain. Girls like that one have given us eighteen years of pain.
--------------------------------------------
Detective Mark Woods: Why did you kill your friend?
Bo Richards: Because I had to.
Bottom:
[Facing imminent death]
Eddie: You know, I think I might come back as a bra.
Richie: What?
Eddie: Well, all us Buddhists believe in reincarnation.
Richie: When did you become a Buddhist?
Eddie: About 5 seconds ago. And may I say it has completely changed my life!
Richie: But you can't come back as a bra! That's just stupid! You have to come back as something organic.
Eddie: All right, all right, I'm only a beginner you know! Errr... all right then, I'll come back as... ah! Claudia Schiffer! She's seriously organic!
--------------------------------------------
Eddie: [reads letter] What's this? Annual membership to "Barbarella's Aerobic Fitness Centre"?
Richie: Nothing to do with me.
Eddie: It's got "Richard Richard" written on it.
Richie: Ah. Er...
Eddie: [reads] "Leotard"?
Richie: Well, er, Eddie, none of us are getting any younger. I just pop along every Wednesday afternoon and firm up.
Eddie: What, you stand at the back of a room full of girls jiggling their bottoms up and down and "firm up"?
--------------------------------------------
Richie: Let's just be economical with the truth, errrm, something, buck, yeah hot young buck.
Eddie: What about badger?
Richie: No, no I'm more a sort of...
Eddie: HEDGHOG!
Richie: No fox! That's good, no that is good.
Eddie: Stoat!
Richie: Foxy Stoat? Yeah! It's gotta a ring to it... foxy stoat seeks...
Eddie: Pig!
Richie: Foxy Stoat Seeks Pig! Oh Shut up Eddie!
------------------------------------------------
Eddie: [to Richie] How's your sausage?
Richie: [looking surprised] 's A bit personal, isn't it? Oh, I see, you mean my *sausage*!
[points at frying pan]
Eddie: Yes?
Richie: You're asking me about my sausage?
Eddie: Sausage, yes?
Richie: Not my penis?
Eddie: [astonished] No!
Richie: Oh, thank heavens for that! Well, what can I tell you, Eddie, it's an absolute disaster! I just can't get the hang of this cooking lark! I mean, you put the sausage in the pan, you set it on fire, and what happens? It gets incinerated!
Eddie: Well, maybe we should eat our flakes?
[Richie looks disgusted]
Eddie: [Eddie holds up a box of cornflakes]
Richie: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I see what you mean, yes! I think I'm getting "double entendre disease"!
Eddie: Can I drink your juice?
Richie: [looking revolted, then realizing] Oh! Oh, yes! Yes, of course, go ahead! I think I'm going mad this morning!
[knocking on the front door]
Eddie: Someone's giving our knocker a damn good banging! I'd better go see who it is!
Richie: Righty 'o! I'll grab a hold of my sausage and give it a good seeing-to!
The Fisher King :
Jack Lucas: I'm talking to the little people!
Parry: Are they here?
Jack Lucas: They're saying, "Jack, go to the liquor store and findeth the Jack of Daniels so that ye may be ****faced!"
The Boys next door:
Bo Richards: What a screwy job.
Roy Alston: Well, our jobs are better.
Bo Richards: What, the factory?
Roy Alston: No, our jobs as fashion designers.
Bo Richards: Hey, quit complaining. It's a good job. Manufacturing. It's American!
Roy Alston: You sound like my dad. He's been going in and out of those **** box factories for thirty years. Always a week away from getting out. Alright, we start Monday but we don't get out in two months. Then it's six months. Then you wake up and it's thirty ****ing years later.
-------------------------------------------
Bo Richards: I just feel bad about that girl. I did not want to hurt her.
Roy Alston: She didn't know what hit her. we gave her two seconds of pain. Girls like that one have given us eighteen years of pain.
--------------------------------------------
Detective Mark Woods: Why did you kill your friend?
Bo Richards: Because I had to.
Bottom:
[Facing imminent death]
Eddie: You know, I think I might come back as a bra.
Richie: What?
Eddie: Well, all us Buddhists believe in reincarnation.
Richie: When did you become a Buddhist?
Eddie: About 5 seconds ago. And may I say it has completely changed my life!
Richie: But you can't come back as a bra! That's just stupid! You have to come back as something organic.
Eddie: All right, all right, I'm only a beginner you know! Errr... all right then, I'll come back as... ah! Claudia Schiffer! She's seriously organic!
--------------------------------------------
Eddie: [reads letter] What's this? Annual membership to "Barbarella's Aerobic Fitness Centre"?
Richie: Nothing to do with me.
Eddie: It's got "Richard Richard" written on it.
Richie: Ah. Er...
Eddie: [reads] "Leotard"?
Richie: Well, er, Eddie, none of us are getting any younger. I just pop along every Wednesday afternoon and firm up.
Eddie: What, you stand at the back of a room full of girls jiggling their bottoms up and down and "firm up"?
--------------------------------------------
Richie: Let's just be economical with the truth, errrm, something, buck, yeah hot young buck.
Eddie: What about badger?
Richie: No, no I'm more a sort of...
Eddie: HEDGHOG!
Richie: No fox! That's good, no that is good.
Eddie: Stoat!
Richie: Foxy Stoat? Yeah! It's gotta a ring to it... foxy stoat seeks...
Eddie: Pig!
Richie: Foxy Stoat Seeks Pig! Oh Shut up Eddie!
------------------------------------------------
Eddie: [to Richie] How's your sausage?
Richie: [looking surprised] 's A bit personal, isn't it? Oh, I see, you mean my *sausage*!
[points at frying pan]
Eddie: Yes?
Richie: You're asking me about my sausage?
Eddie: Sausage, yes?
Richie: Not my penis?
Eddie: [astonished] No!
Richie: Oh, thank heavens for that! Well, what can I tell you, Eddie, it's an absolute disaster! I just can't get the hang of this cooking lark! I mean, you put the sausage in the pan, you set it on fire, and what happens? It gets incinerated!
Eddie: Well, maybe we should eat our flakes?
[Richie looks disgusted]
Eddie: [Eddie holds up a box of cornflakes]
Richie: Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, I see what you mean, yes! I think I'm getting "double entendre disease"!
Eddie: Can I drink your juice?
Richie: [looking revolted, then realizing] Oh! Oh, yes! Yes, of course, go ahead! I think I'm going mad this morning!
[knocking on the front door]
Eddie: Someone's giving our knocker a damn good banging! I'd better go see who it is!
Richie: Righty 'o! I'll grab a hold of my sausage and give it a good seeing-to!
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