A joke for the day !

She was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.

He walked in, she turned and said 'you've got to make love to me right now', his eyes lit up and not wanting to lose the moment he gave her his all, right there on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she returned to the cooker.

More than a little puzzled her 'what was that all about'?

She replied:



















The egg timers broke !

[Sapphire]

Re: A joke for the day !

A man was admitted to hospital earlier today with a toy horse stuck up his bum.

The doctors have described his condition as stable.

[Sapphire]

Re: A joke for the day !

The Bathtub Test


During a visit to the mental asylum, a man asked the director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalised.

"Well," said the director, "We fill up the bath, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," he said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the director, "A normal person would pull the plug.
Now, do you want a bed near the window?"

[charitynjw]

Re: A joke for the day !

Apologies if you've heard this one.

A wife was (quite reasonably, in my opinion) berating her husband for his reluctance to pay for her breast enhancement surgery, which she felt was absolutely vitally necessary.
The miserable skinflint suggested that she should try a new treatment, that being to rub the afflicted area with a soft tissue, repeating the treatment as required.
A little skeptical (well, you would be, wouldn't you?), she enquired "How will that work?"
He said "Worked on your ar................er, bottom, didn't it!"
Men! :biggrin1:

[natweststaffmember]

Re: A joke for the day !

A bloke rings 999 and says "I think my wife is dead". The operator asked "Why do you think that?"
He replied, "The sex is the same but the ironing is building up!!!"

[enaid]

Re: A joke for the day !

Mick & Paddy are reading headstones at a cemetery. Mick says "crikey, this bloke died aged 152" Paddy says "what's his name" Mick replied "Miles from London"

[Sapphire]

Re: A joke for the day !

Husband stands admiring his naked body in the mirror, says to wife 'look at that, 12 stone of pure dynamite'.

Wife replies...... 'Shame about the 2 inch fuse'.