Tweet
Guerrilla Warfare for the Online Generation – Trolling For Beginners
Before you begin, you'll need to make sure you're properly equipped. As you're reading this Entry, you'll have access to either an internet-enabled PC, or some sort of internet-capable mobile phone. Excellent! You are now fully equipped to start your campaign of terror. So let's get this show on the road.
The first thing you need to do is identify your target. Don't worry, this won't involve any thought, intelligence or consideration on your part – just a dictionary and a search engine. Open your dictionary and pick a word at random. Let's say it's 'Kittens'. Now head over to your search engine and put in your topic, along with the word 'forum'. This should (hopefully) take you to a forum populated with people who are completely besotted with your word1.
Great. Now set up a username. Make sure this is as offensive as possible, as you'll never be using it again. Now click onto the most innocent looking thread you can find and post one line of absolute drivel railing against whatever topic the posters on your target board are for. Don't worry about spelling, grammar or lucidity – and make sure you use at least five exclamation marks to get your point across. You should end up with something that looks like this:
I Like Kittens Introduction Thread
Kittenz-R-well-pants says:
I luv dogs!!!1! In fact the only fing that kittenz are good 4 is ffeeding 2 my rottwiler!!!!
Congratulations, you've taken your first steps into a much more irritating world. Now log out and abandon your diabolical alias – that way they'll never find you. Hit and run, that's the beginner's motto. Dive headlong into someone else's conversation, derail it completely and melt back into the shadows before you can be hit with a devastating riposte. Rinse and repeat with a number of forums until you feel comfortable enough to move onto moderate trolling.
Before you begin, you'll need to make sure you're properly equipped. As you're reading this Entry, you'll have access to either an internet-enabled PC, or some sort of internet-capable mobile phone. Excellent! You are now fully equipped to start your campaign of terror. So let's get this show on the road.
The first thing you need to do is identify your target. Don't worry, this won't involve any thought, intelligence or consideration on your part – just a dictionary and a search engine. Open your dictionary and pick a word at random. Let's say it's 'Kittens'. Now head over to your search engine and put in your topic, along with the word 'forum'. This should (hopefully) take you to a forum populated with people who are completely besotted with your word1.
Great. Now set up a username. Make sure this is as offensive as possible, as you'll never be using it again. Now click onto the most innocent looking thread you can find and post one line of absolute drivel railing against whatever topic the posters on your target board are for. Don't worry about spelling, grammar or lucidity – and make sure you use at least five exclamation marks to get your point across. You should end up with something that looks like this:
I Like Kittens Introduction Thread
Kittenz-R-well-pants says:
I luv dogs!!!1! In fact the only fing that kittenz are good 4 is ffeeding 2 my rottwiler!!!!
Congratulations, you've taken your first steps into a much more irritating world. Now log out and abandon your diabolical alias – that way they'll never find you. Hit and run, that's the beginner's motto. Dive headlong into someone else's conversation, derail it completely and melt back into the shadows before you can be hit with a devastating riposte. Rinse and repeat with a number of forums until you feel comfortable enough to move onto moderate trolling.
