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After my dad died 6 weeks ago our family have had quite a few problems to deal with an I am hoping that someone may be able to give me some advise.
Query 1. I am an executor for my dad’s will and for the moment only administering the cash side of his estate, which is not a huge amount. Since 2007 my father has always given a copy of his will to my husband and discussed it with him. Every time he changed his will he gave my husband a copy. The last will my husband was given was in 2016. This was a reciprocal will with my stepmother where who ever survives the other can stay in the property until end of life, and it was made together with the same solicitor and dad gave my husband a copy of hers too.
My dad’s relationship with my stepmother was obsessive on his part. He married her so she would have financial benefits including a widows pension which he openly told us about. He passed away on 14th March this year. The week after he died knowing that myself and my husband were executors we checked with his solicitor that the will dated 2016 was the last will. They confirmed it was.
There were several instances in the following two weeks that made our side of the family feel that there was something going on but we couldn’t put a finger on it. A couple of examples - my stepmother phoned to say she had the death certificate and she had several copies (a week or so later when asking for one I was told they were all gone and we had to get our own). I said that I thought she would need to give a copy to the solicitor. She said she didn’t know who the solicitor was. I said the name of the solicitors. She said is it and said she would ring to find out. As they made this will together with the same solicitor. I found this very strange. She then said she was about to go through dad’s papers (I felt this may be a little early to do that). My dad had been with the same solicitor for 30 years and was very friendly with them, dropping in for cups of tea etc.
A few days later her daughter phoned the solicitor asking about the will and who the executors were. The solicitor phoned me as she was concerned and said it was ‘a bit weird’. There were other things too, too many to go into detail.
Just over two weeks after dad died we had a phone call from the solicitor. She asked if here was anything going on, to which we said no. She then told us that another will had been found and she was going to my stepmothers to verify it. She rang later to say she had verified it. (At a later date the solicitor said she would not like to comment on the work of the will writer). It was a will that my dad and stepmother (instead of going to his historic solicitor) had made with a will writer. We were shocked that this had been done in secret as it were with no mention to my husband as in the past. We have never considered we had a right to see dad’s wills when changed, it was just what he did. We were shocked that dad had made this will with stepmother in such a clandestine manner.
The peculiar things that had been going on began to make sense. My stepmother knew of the existence of the will she had made at the same time and in the same room as my dad, was actively looking for it (‘going through dads papers’) and yet didn’t say anything for 2 weeks and let us know via the solicitor!
The will, made in 2018 had changes in that my stepmother had now been made an executor along with myself and my husband and also a beneficiary along with myself and two brothers. It also became apparent that they had taken out a 51K equity release in the same year of which we knew nothing but stepmother’s family did. My dad at the time was 88! There was, however, a memorandum. The memorandum is not mentioned or referred to in the will and I have read if it is not then may not be legally binding. Is this the case? And does it matter what it contains?
Query 2
My stepmother was responsible for paying the care home fees for my dad since last July. The first two invoices for Sept and Oct she paid eventually. She has paid nothing since. Last week I had an email from the Council with a list of outstanding invoices that came to a hefty sum. I rang them and they gave me quite a lot of information including that she had signed a contract to pay the fees and they had sent her invoices, she didn’t sign the direct debit they sent her and had ignored communications from them. In actual fact they wrote to her at the beginning of March asking for more financial information and she didn’t reply. She didn’t pay them a penny. They did say, however, that she had signed a contract to say she would pay the fees.
My husband rang her and was extremely polite but did ask her questions about the invoices, direct debit etc. She was hesitant, evasive and lied about some things, such as she didn’t know what the care home fees were, nobody told her! Nobody ever got back to her from the Council etc. Being as she paid the first two invoices and signed a contract to say she would pay which contained the information about the fees this was obviously a lie.
She rang my husband back and said that if he wanted to speak to her further about this he was to do it via her solicitor.
My dad has provided everything for her. He has left her everything in the property, even things that belong to us, as they were mum’s. There is no documentation to say that the fees should be paid from dad’s savings solely which is the cash part of the will we are executing at the moment and we have obtained some bank statements to see where my dad’s funds sit but only from February, and are in the process of obtaining bank statements from July last year when he asked me to relinquish my power of attorney to then give to my stepmother. We can see that for 2 months there was a transfer of some of his income into his savings account but not enough to cover the fees.
We feel that these fees should have been paid at the appropriate time and she as perfectly capable of doing so but chose not to and ignored them knowing they were mounting up.
Would anyone know how we stand with this?
6 weeks on from dad’s death our family has not grieved. Instead we have been full of anger, frustration and disbelief that he did what he did and she has done what she has done. It fills your head every day.
Query 1. I am an executor for my dad’s will and for the moment only administering the cash side of his estate, which is not a huge amount. Since 2007 my father has always given a copy of his will to my husband and discussed it with him. Every time he changed his will he gave my husband a copy. The last will my husband was given was in 2016. This was a reciprocal will with my stepmother where who ever survives the other can stay in the property until end of life, and it was made together with the same solicitor and dad gave my husband a copy of hers too.
My dad’s relationship with my stepmother was obsessive on his part. He married her so she would have financial benefits including a widows pension which he openly told us about. He passed away on 14th March this year. The week after he died knowing that myself and my husband were executors we checked with his solicitor that the will dated 2016 was the last will. They confirmed it was.
There were several instances in the following two weeks that made our side of the family feel that there was something going on but we couldn’t put a finger on it. A couple of examples - my stepmother phoned to say she had the death certificate and she had several copies (a week or so later when asking for one I was told they were all gone and we had to get our own). I said that I thought she would need to give a copy to the solicitor. She said she didn’t know who the solicitor was. I said the name of the solicitors. She said is it and said she would ring to find out. As they made this will together with the same solicitor. I found this very strange. She then said she was about to go through dad’s papers (I felt this may be a little early to do that). My dad had been with the same solicitor for 30 years and was very friendly with them, dropping in for cups of tea etc.
A few days later her daughter phoned the solicitor asking about the will and who the executors were. The solicitor phoned me as she was concerned and said it was ‘a bit weird’. There were other things too, too many to go into detail.
Just over two weeks after dad died we had a phone call from the solicitor. She asked if here was anything going on, to which we said no. She then told us that another will had been found and she was going to my stepmothers to verify it. She rang later to say she had verified it. (At a later date the solicitor said she would not like to comment on the work of the will writer). It was a will that my dad and stepmother (instead of going to his historic solicitor) had made with a will writer. We were shocked that this had been done in secret as it were with no mention to my husband as in the past. We have never considered we had a right to see dad’s wills when changed, it was just what he did. We were shocked that dad had made this will with stepmother in such a clandestine manner.
The peculiar things that had been going on began to make sense. My stepmother knew of the existence of the will she had made at the same time and in the same room as my dad, was actively looking for it (‘going through dads papers’) and yet didn’t say anything for 2 weeks and let us know via the solicitor!
The will, made in 2018 had changes in that my stepmother had now been made an executor along with myself and my husband and also a beneficiary along with myself and two brothers. It also became apparent that they had taken out a 51K equity release in the same year of which we knew nothing but stepmother’s family did. My dad at the time was 88! There was, however, a memorandum. The memorandum is not mentioned or referred to in the will and I have read if it is not then may not be legally binding. Is this the case? And does it matter what it contains?
Query 2
My stepmother was responsible for paying the care home fees for my dad since last July. The first two invoices for Sept and Oct she paid eventually. She has paid nothing since. Last week I had an email from the Council with a list of outstanding invoices that came to a hefty sum. I rang them and they gave me quite a lot of information including that she had signed a contract to pay the fees and they had sent her invoices, she didn’t sign the direct debit they sent her and had ignored communications from them. In actual fact they wrote to her at the beginning of March asking for more financial information and she didn’t reply. She didn’t pay them a penny. They did say, however, that she had signed a contract to say she would pay the fees.
My husband rang her and was extremely polite but did ask her questions about the invoices, direct debit etc. She was hesitant, evasive and lied about some things, such as she didn’t know what the care home fees were, nobody told her! Nobody ever got back to her from the Council etc. Being as she paid the first two invoices and signed a contract to say she would pay which contained the information about the fees this was obviously a lie.
She rang my husband back and said that if he wanted to speak to her further about this he was to do it via her solicitor.
My dad has provided everything for her. He has left her everything in the property, even things that belong to us, as they were mum’s. There is no documentation to say that the fees should be paid from dad’s savings solely which is the cash part of the will we are executing at the moment and we have obtained some bank statements to see where my dad’s funds sit but only from February, and are in the process of obtaining bank statements from July last year when he asked me to relinquish my power of attorney to then give to my stepmother. We can see that for 2 months there was a transfer of some of his income into his savings account but not enough to cover the fees.
We feel that these fees should have been paid at the appropriate time and she as perfectly capable of doing so but chose not to and ignored them knowing they were mounting up.
Would anyone know how we stand with this?
6 weeks on from dad’s death our family has not grieved. Instead we have been full of anger, frustration and disbelief that he did what he did and she has done what she has done. It fills your head every day.
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