Help please! This is very serious and I desperately need some direction

[Tomw]

Myself and my wife looked after my Dad for a long time but when he passed my siblings blocked our contact with my Mother for some 2.5 years. Probate was not completed in this time and I would have expected to be contacted becuase of my expenses relating to care. However I finally managed to get the Executor to respond and he said something very strange. The stress of caring for my Dad had made my wife ill from stress.At this time I had applied for help for her from a Legacy Trust for her. My sibblings acting as POAs had ignored these requests.When I got in touch with the Executor I asked for help under the Legacy Trust and he gad a conference call with the POAs about this,,they had ignored me for all this time. He came back and said I could get a small loan if I agreed that all my expenses for looking after my Dad should be turned into a loan. Otherwise there would be no help for my disabled wife....surely this is blackmail...how do I dispute this loan...which court or process?