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Joint mortgage/property with ex partner-sticky...I know

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  • Joint mortgage/property with ex partner-sticky...I know

    Hi All,

    Would really appreciate some advice. Without being subjective here is my dilemma.
    I recently split with my partner of 4 years (august 2012), in the 2nd year of our relationship we brought a property (2 bedroom flat) together (April 2010). We own 20% each of the 40% of the property we both own (part buy part rent). So we have a joint mortgage on the 40%. We’ve never missed a mortgage payment to date.
    It wasn’t a bitter split, we haven’t had any arguments since and are in good talking terms. However, I think I have got the short end of the bargain.
    Initially when we was talking about going our separation, she suggested that I would move out for short period of time then move into the second room of the property and we would have to work around that and see how it goes. Obviously at the time I agreed not thinking about other complications e.g. other partners etc.
    A month or so later, although we was on talking terms she said she no longer wanted any ties with me and that I need to decide if I want to buy her out or vice versa. As my emotions around the split were still quite raw at the time I refused to make a decision quite soon after the break up.
    So I have suggested that we get the flat valued first, as I would like to see how much it is worth so that I can decide if it is financially worth me keeping, selling to her or we both sell. She agreed to this so as it stands we are waiting for the valuation to be completed on 07/03/13.
    Since august I have not been at my flat as she asked me not to come round, and even if I needed to pick some stuff up she would need to be present. I have continued to pay the mortgage since.
    I am thinking that she could buy me out (no figures discussed yet), but I wanted to ask for the mortgage payments made since august as I have not had the benefits of owning/paying the flat since then. I.e. stay, have friends over or even make any changes.
    I suggested that I can be a silent partner as I am aware how difficult it is to get on the property ladder. But I would be charging rent as to cover my part of the mortgage. She refused this idea after agreeing to it. Her reason being that it will get complicated, so I said okay.
    The reason I don’t want to keep the flat is that it is something we had together, it has no parking facilities and 60% is owned by the housing association (less flexibility). Again, I am still unable to think this through as an investment; this may be as I never imagined it will come to this therefore this is all new to me.
    As you can understand I would like to have my own space again.
    So my main questions are that:
    What can I ask for when it comes to her buying me out?
    Can I ask that she pays me back for the mortgage payments since August?
    What about all the furniture and things I’ve paid for in the flat?
    What else should I be consider?
    She recently asked me to pay half of the cost to replace the boiler, so I responded by saying I have not been there to contribute to the breakdown and have not charged rent as a landlady therefore this releases me of any maintenance responsibilities. I thought this was common sense, but she wasn’t happy to hear this and we agreed that I would pay her for the boiler if I buy her out.
    I would be grateful if someone can give me some advice/guidance?
    Ps Apologies if I have gone into a tangent or got you confused with the way I write-if so please feel free to ask for clarity.
    Many thanks in advance.
    My Rights_A
    Tags: None

  • #2
    Re: Joint mortgage/property with ex partner-sticky...I know

    The Home

    Unlike married couples, unmarried couples have no basic rights to their partner's property or to maintenance if they split up. Basically what is his is his, what is hers is hers, and what is jointly-owned needs to be divided.
    If a house is bought in joint names, it should be split accordingly on separation, and either party can force a sale of the property to realise their share. If the parties are contributing unequally to the purchase price, or to payments on the property, for example if he is paying 70% and she is paying 30%, this should be reflected in the amounts they take away with them.

    (taken from http://www.ukexplorer.com-uk.com with thanks!)
    Last edited by ULA; 22nd April 2026, 08:57:AM. Reason: Updated link provided

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: Joint mortgage/property with ex partner-sticky...I know

      Thank you lablam. I think we are both of the opinion that it makes sense for one of us to buy each other out. However, until we come to the decision I dont think its fair that I continue paying the mortgage when I am not able to live there, yet I am asked to pay for maintenance cost. So would I be penalised for not making these payments (which she is aware off). And if I do agree to sell to her, what about the payments of the last 7 months? Can I request that back?
      Basically, I am of the opinion that if I make the payments then I should be able to use or benefit from it and if not then I should charge rent?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Joint mortgage/property with ex partner-sticky...I know

        Originally posted by MyRights View Post
        I think we are both of the opinion that it makes sense for one of us to buy each other out. However, until we come to the decision I dont think its fair that I continue paying the mortgage when I am not able to live there, yet I am asked to pay for maintenance cost. So would I be penalised for not making these payments (which she is aware off). And if I do agree to sell to her, what about the payments of the last 7 months? Can I request that back?
        Basically, I am of the opinion that if I make the payments then I should be able to use or benefit from it and if not then I should charge rent?
        I'll come back to this thread tomorrow (sorry but I'm just passing) but if the mortgage isn't paid then the property will be repossessed while you're busy fighting this out with your former partner. If you have a joint mortgage then you are both jointly and severally responsible for the debt for up to 12 years following repossession regardless of who lives in the flat. You've signed a legal contract with the lender not an emotional one and this situation has to be regularised in a formal/legal way.

        Dig out your original contract with the part rent/part buy people and see what it says (if anything) about 'transfer of ownership'.

        This will get sorted so don't worry

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: Joint mortgage/property with ex partner-sticky...I know

          Originally posted by PlanB View Post
          I'll come back to this thread tomorrow (sorry but I'm just passing) but if the mortgage isn't paid then the property will be repossessed while you're busy fighting this out with your former partner. If you have a joint mortgage then you are both jointly and severally responsible for the debt for up to 12 years following repossession regardless of who lives in the flat. You've signed a legal contract with the lender not an emotional one and this situation has to be regularised in a formal/legal way.

          Dig out your original contract with the part rent/part buy people and see what it says (if anything) about 'transfer of ownership'.

          This will get sorted so don't worry
          you will get some real experiences from Plan B and help that you need, so keep her informed immediately of events!!!!!!!!!!!!

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Joint mortgage/property with ex partner-sticky...I know

            a charity that helps with repossession cases:http://www.hrac.org.uk/index.htm


            For info:-

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: Joint mortgage/property with ex partner-sticky...I know

              Originally posted by MyRights View Post
              I think we are both of the opinion that it makes sense for one of us to buy each other out. However, until we come to the decision I dont think its fair that I continue paying the mortgage when I am not able to live there, yet I am asked to pay for maintenance cost. So would I be penalised for not making these payments (which she is aware off). And if I do agree to sell to her, what about the payments of the last 7 months? Can I request that back?
              Basically, I am of the opinion that if I make the payments then I should be able to use or benefit from it and if not then I should charge rent?
              Sorry I didn't get back to you earlier today but I'm trying to make sense of this for your sake

              If you charge your former partner "rent" then you'll have to declare that to HMRC and pay tax on it But on the other hand this could be a useful device because you could issue her with a formal tenancy agreement (AST) which could mean that she'd be entitled to Housing Benefit to pay the rent and you could offset her rent against your mortgage payments and reduce the tax bill But it's not that simple.

              What you're looking to achieve is a formal IOU note from your ex-partner followed by a legally binding one.

              I'm sorry to ask this but does your ex-partner have a new partner which is why she's saying "it's complicated"? This could imply that she's already using the "benefits system" to her/their advantage.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: Joint mortgage/property with ex partner-sticky...I know

                Thank you mike770. Plan B your a star for ur input. Sorry for the late reply, not sure if a function exist but i dont get notified if anyone has responded. Yes she is with someone else, but i dont think she will be claiming any benefits, especially as we are not allowed to sublet. Our mortgage is due for renewal end of april so the clock is ticking and shes pressurising me which i understand why but its not as easy for me as it is for her . Saying that, i am at a point where i want to move on from this but get the best outcome, without anything becoming bitter. She wont co-own with me, so thats out the picture. What should i be thinking about? What other options do i have? Many thanks

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: Joint mortgage/property with ex partner-sticky...I know

                  Originally posted by MyRights View Post
                  Thank you mike770. Plan B your a star for ur input. Sorry for the late reply, not sure if a function exist but i dont get notified if anyone has responded. Yes she is with someone else, but i dont think she will be claiming any benefits, especially as we are not allowed to sublet. Our mortgage is due for renewal end of april so the clock is ticking and shes pressurising me which i understand why but its not as easy for me as it is for her . Saying that, i am at a point where i want to move on from this but get the best outcome, without anything becoming bitter. She wont co-own with me, so thats out the picture. What should i be thinking about? What other options do i have? Many thanks
                  So she asked for 15k to buy her out or 10K to buy my share-totally unfair I know. So I've agreed to sell my share at 15k although she's agreed she won't be giving the full amount at once 10 now and 5 later Which makes matter worse for me. Feel like I'm getting less then I deserve. I mean trying to detach my emotions as much as possible...the figures have been decided as diposite and what we've paid so far devided by 2. But If I work it out like this: value of the property 250k we own 40% so 20% each. 20% of 250k is 20k isn't that what I should be getting?:juggle:

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: Joint mortgage/property with ex partner-sticky...I know

                    think the suns are wrong here? 20%of 250 is 50k or am i totally thick

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: Joint mortgage/property with ex partner-sticky...I know

                      Wales01man your right.
                      I hope I am not confusing you all with my constant updates. But as it stands, I've agreed for her to buy my share for 15k, she tried to haggle. So i've agreed that she can pay me 10k now and 5k at a late reasonable date-we agreed she can do this by Sept 2014. But now she's still not happy. So in January I brought up the issue that I am not able to stay at my own place, (i suggested we take turns in staying there until we make a decision-she declined this) I have no say and she wont give me rent. So I said fine but I wont pay the mortgage until we decide. Now she has brought this up an demanding I pay the last two months, I said fine but I will charge rent for the months I have not been there and will add this on top of the 15k which is 17k apx. Am I being unreasonable?. I am considering her situation as much as possible, although this is exactly what she wants (keeping the property) she isnt happy and keeps getting angry with me. I just want to move on from this without things becoming bitter or going to legal but feel like I am the only one trying, although this is also something she fears.

                      Please advise asap, many thanks in advance.

                      Myrights

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: Joint mortgage/property with ex partner-sticky...I know

                        Im no expert but its all looking like its going to turn nasty,your trying to resolve the situation and shes not willing to.Starting to look more like a session with a solicitor might help many solicitors offer a free 15 minute or so consultation or to pay a small sum might sort it sooner than later,whatever you decide hopefully it will all come good.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: Joint mortgage/property with ex partner-sticky...I know

                          Originally posted by MyRights View Post
                          Thank you mike770. Plan B your a star for ur input. Sorry for the late reply, not sure if a function exist but i dont get notified if anyone has responded. Yes she is with someone else, but i dont think she will be claiming any benefits, especially as we are not allowed to sublet. Our mortgage is due for renewal end of april so the clock is ticking and shes pressurising me which i understand why but its not as easy for me as it is for her . Saying that, i am at a point where i want to move on from this but get the best outcome, without anything becoming bitter. She wont co-own with me, so thats out the picture. What should i be thinking about? What other options do i have? Many thanks
                          Yes, there is an option under 'Settings' at the very top of the screen, once you are inside settings, the third box down is My Settings, second item down is My Account, where you'll find General Settings. On the right hand side you'll find the second item down is Messaging & Notification, under Default Thread Subscription Mode you can choose to be notified whenever there's a reply. Unless you choose Do not subscribe, you will automatically be subscribed to the threads you post on, and you can choose to be notified by email every time there is a reply. To avoid cluttering up the mailbox, you will stop getting new notifications if you don't log in for a while, but you will always get the first one if your system is set up to receive instant email notification. See below:
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                          • #14
                            Re: Joint mortgage/property with ex partner-sticky...I know

                            Originally posted by MyRights View Post
                            Wales01man your right.
                            I hope I am not confusing you all with my constant updates. But as it stands, I've agreed for her to buy my share for 15k, she tried to haggle. So i've agreed that she can pay me 10k now and 5k at a late reasonable date-we agreed she can do this by Sept 2014. But now she's still not happy. So in January I brought up the issue that I am not able to stay at my own place, (i suggested we take turns in staying there until we make a decision-she declined this) I have no say and she wont give me rent. So I said fine but I wont pay the mortgage until we decide. Now she has brought this up an demanding I pay the last two months, I said fine but I will charge rent for the months I have not been there and will add this on top of the 15k which is 17k apx. Am I being unreasonable?. I am considering her situation as much as possible, although this is exactly what she wants (keeping the property) she isnt happy and keeps getting angry with me. I just want to move on from this without things becoming bitter or going to legal but feel like I am the only one trying, although this is also something she fears.

                            Please advise asap, many thanks in advance.

                            Myrights
                            You are being played for a fool and you seriously need to get a solicitor involved as you cannot just be bought out of your mortgage without the relevant paperwork being legally drawn up to remove you from liability in the event your ex doesn't maintain the mortgage and ends up being repossessed at some time in the future. Do not agree any figures until everything has been evaluated and you get your fair share from your initial investment in the property.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Re: Joint mortgage/property with ex partner-sticky...I know

                              Originally posted by IanM View Post
                              You are being played for a fool and you seriously need to get a solicitor involved as you cannot just be bought out of your mortgage without the relevant paperwork being legally drawn up to remove you from liability in the event your ex doesn't maintain the mortgage and ends up being repossessed at some time in the future. Do not agree any figures until everything has been evaluated and you get your fair share from your initial investment in the property.
                              the property has been valued at 250k which is what we brought it for, so it doesnt make sense to put it on the market (fees etc). Shes already spoken to our previous solicitor so it will all be transfered legally. But she informs me that they have refused to assist us as it can potentially be messy, which i find frustrating as if everything is in writing and agreed what could get messy?. I am not someone to go back on my words and she wouldnt either as she is getting exactly what she wants. Would it be the solicitor who can support us to come up with a fair figure?

                              thank you for your input

                              Comment

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