Concerned over harmful communications

[2tick]

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for guidance on a situation involving a letter I sent some time ago, which may now be under legal scrutiny. I want to be careful and understand my options.

A few weeks ago, I sent a handwritten letter to a family member. In hindsight, I realize it was cruel and inappropriate. The letter did not contain threats, but it did contain highly critical personal comments. I regret sending it and will not repeat this behavior.

Recently, this family member has linked the letter to me through a comparison with a previous card I had sent years ago. I have not admitted anything formally, and I have not been contacted by the authorities yet.

The family member has been attempting to contact me persistently, including unannounced visits, phone calls, and messages, which has caused me significant stress. I have work and personal commitments that make it difficult to respond immediately or meet in person.

I’m concerned about:

Potential legal consequences for the letter I sent.

How to handle ongoing contact from the family member while protecting my privacy and safety.

My rights regarding harassment, harmful communications, and personal boundaries.


I want to act responsibly, seek legal advice, and protect myself without escalating the situation further.

Could anyone advise:

1. What steps I should take immediately to protect myself legally?


2. How to manage contact from this family member without violating the law or putting myself at risk?


3. Whether there are specific resources or types of solicitors I should contact in situations like this?



Thank you for any guidance.

[PallasAthena]

I'm sure you appreciate that knowing so little about what exactly the letter said, what the background is, and the individuals concerned it is difficult to be specific (and I am not suggesting you should post any more details on here - this is a public forum).

Looking at it from the point of view of official action. You've sent it and that can't be undone. It's now in the hands of the recipient whether to report it to the police (if it contains things that might be a criminal offence) or to involve a solicitor/start a court action if the contents might be grounds for a civil action against you. There's really little you can do at this stage except wait and see what, if anything, happens of an official nature. If you are contacted by the police or receive a letter from a solicitor or any court documents come back here for advice.

As for other action that's difficult to comment on. Do you feel as if you are being harrassed in way that might be criminal? Are you concerned for your personal safety?

Is there another family member or mutual friend that could act as a neutral go-between, as an informal mediator trusted by both parties? That would be more productive than a shouting match, or worse, on your doorstep.

If feel you want to discuss with a solicitor look for one that specialises in family law.

[2tick]

I'm sure you appreciate that knowing so little about what exactly the letter said, what the background is, and the individuals concerned it is difficult to be specific (and I am not suggesting you should post any more details on here - this is a public forum).

Looking at it from the point of view of official action. You've sent it and that can't be undone. It's now in the hands of the recipient whether to report it to the police (if it contains things that might be a criminal offence) or to involve a solicitor/start a court action if the contents might be grounds for a civil action against you. There's really little you can do at this stage except wait and see what, if anything, happens of an official nature. If you are contacted by the police or receive a letter from a solicitor or any court documents come back here for advice.

As for other action that's difficult to comment on. Do you feel as if you are being harrassed in way that might be criminal? Are you concerned for your personal safety?

Is there another family member or mutual friend that could act as a neutral go-between, as an informal mediator trusted by both parties? That would be more productive than a shouting match, or worse, on your doorstep.

If feel you want to discuss with a solicitor look for one that specialises in family law.

We are not immediate family. I always liked the person. This person stepped back and I was disappointed and it came out the wrong way.

I really need to get advice from a solicitor about what might happen. I know originally the person took it to the police and then at some stage after that git private analysis done which linked it to me. I don't know what has happened after that.

I know in my own experience, I was harassed by a different person for years and it is unrelated to this and the police were useless. I know from watching a documentary from last year into the force they are under resourced and understaffed (Ireland).
I thought maybe they would put it into a file and if it escalates then act on it.

I understand why this person is behaving this way. It has caused huge upset which honestly was never my intention. I don't know what I was thinking at the time. I do feel harassed, for sure. What was said in a message to me yesterday was threatening to involve my employer if I don't talk to the person. I replied giving my availability but the person didn't respond. I think she is angry at that. I think she pushing for a meeting on her terms and her time. I think maybe the person is expecting a grand admission and apology. I would be concerned then at that point that the police may act more on that.

I want to speak to a solicitor first and I think I do would like to go down the route of a mediator.


I am nervous and scared and feel so alone and ashamed.

[2tick]

The person called unannounced to my home last week. I wasn't in. In the afternoon I got a missed called, followed by a message and another missed call. I was genuinely out and busy. I usually have my phone on silent too.

When I got home at night, I was told that the person came and I was told the time. The calls came after the visit and beforehand to at least establish if I was going to be in or not.

This person has been calling one of my parents all week but they are not responsible for me. I am not a minor. Seeking information about my job and timing and schedule. My parent isn't giving much information. Just says I work all week and often work late.

I replied to the person's message earlier in the week and I was polite and respectful. Then I got a threat of contacting my employer.

[2tick]

When calling my parent, it's not just one or two calls. It's call after call after call until the phone is answered. It's actually irritaional.

[PallasAthena]

Are you in the UK or Republic of Ireland?

[2tick]

Are you in the UK or Republic of Ireland?

Republic of Ireland

[PallasAthena]

LeageBeagles forum is a UK website advising on UK law and practice and I'm not aware of any of the regular posters here having any significant knowledge of ROI so probably not much we can advise you on about your ROI legal position.

I'm sure if anyone has any thoughts they will help if they can.

[2tick]

I think maybe this person might think I am avoiding them but I am not. I was genuinely busy. My schedule for next number of weeks remains to be intense too. I will meet but I need legal advice first but I didn't say that to the person. I get a sense of urgency from this person and I suspect my earlier message which was agreeing with them that we need to talk and telling them my earliest availability.

I might be able to juggle around some things and get some time off perhaps but I didn't let the person know in case it was argued with.

[2tick]

LeageBeagles forum is a UK website advising on UK law and practice and I'm not aware of any of the regular posters here having any significant knowledge of ROI so probably not much we can advise you on about your ROI legal position.

I'm sure if anyone has any thoughts they will help if they can.

Thank you. I wasn't aware it was a UK only.

That's ok about the legal aspect. Maybe if anyone can offer can general advice or support that would be good. I feel pressured by this person.

[2tick]

The message I got yesterday seemed like a threat from the sopranos or other TV show.
- ' you commited a crime and I will inform your employer if you don't meet to talk with me so just let me know when you are at home'.

I replied politely say I looked at my schedule and I can meet in early October. This is genuine. This is t a heavy social life for me. This is work and family commitments. She didn't reply to this. I think she is angry with it.

I am at home in the mornings and at night before bed but that doesn't suit. I didn't tell the person this.

I don't know what the next move is going to be from this person. If they are going continue calling unannounced to my home or even to my work.

[2tick]

I forgot another detail here too: when she called unannounced last week, it was a sibling who was at home. He said he was in bed but he was getting up and putting his pants on and this person let herself in. The person was inside before he even had his pants on. We were never this close of being allowed entry without knocking.

[PallasAthena]

Let herself in? She has a key? Change the locks!

[2tick]

Let herself in? She has a key? Change the locks!

She doesn't have a key. The door was unlocked.

[2tick]

Am I in the wrong for not meeting sooner?

Should I be meeting asap? I want to get legal advice before I meet.

I didn't get a reply from her so I suspect she's gone back to the drawing board to think of another threat. I know I did wrong but this feels like harassment and intidation.