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Hi I split up with my ex partner due to domestic abuse and initially went to court to regarding access, I believed him to be a risk to our daughter and didn't want unsupervised contact. Unfortunately I had not reported incidents of domestic abuse to the police so it was word against word and as my ex partner is Mr Charm everything was minimised in court.
The judge told my ex partner he had to 'pacify me' by agreeing to supervised contact for six months and then my 'natural worrier instinct' would switch off and he could have unsupervised contact with our daughter (4years).
During the period of supervised contact I was worried that my daughter was coming back showing signs of neglect, in that he would have her for a full day and not feed her all day, she began wetting herself at school which was out of character wetting the bed too she also began acting violently towards several children in her class again out of character.
I was pretty much forced into the contact going unsupervised as once again all of these behaviours were minimised as her going through a phase and not being reminded enough at school to wee (even though she had never needed reminding before)
Two weeks into unsupervised contact my daughter came home starving after a day with ex partner and her clothes were wet as she had weed and he hadn'd changed her. This was literally a week after he had sat with CAFCASS and swore he fed her and a week after everything was finalised in court.
I called him up and told him that I was angry our daughter was still not being fed and that I was sick of her coming home starving and that he needed to get his act together he got really aggressive with me on the phone and told me he would teach me a lesson.
A week later he submitted papers to court to increase contact time with our daughter and told me in person this was a direct result of me questioning him and that if I questioned him again he would keep taking me back to court until he got full custody.
I was really upset as at the first hearing the judge decided despite the fact one a week prior to this he had agreed to a contact plan and absolutely nothing had changed in that time that he would allow another hearing in court. We had literally gone through the courts for two years and he took me back to court after 7 days and was allowed to do this.
I know he is only doing this as a means of punishing me and to still have power over me and cause me stress I genuinely dont think he wants to see our daughter more as she spends about half of her time with his mum during contact anyway while he's out with his mates.
However three weeks ago my ex partner assaulted our daughter and was subsequently arrested for this and released on bail with quite strict bail conditions.
Despite this though, the family court proceedings are still on going and I am due to see a district judge in court in 10 days time along with my ex partner to discuss access.
Part of my ex partners bail conditions are that he is not to come into contact with me or our child whatsoever, however despite this and despite me contacting the court to explain the situation they have still not decided whether to adjourn the family court hearing until after the criminal investigation and have told me its more than likely to go ahead.
Firstly this is a breach of my ex partners bail conditions as he is not allowed to come into contact with me and will be doing so in family court and to be honest I genuinely don't want to face him I feel really threatened and uncomfortable about this.
Also I don't want to be pressured into making any permanent decisions regarding our daughter while the criminal investigation is ongoing.
Is there anything I can do to get the case adjourned until the criminal investigation is completed? Also is there any way I can stop him repeatedly taking me to court I know full well as soon as this is over and all signed off I will be back at court again within two weeks because this is the only way he can now still have control over me.
The judge told my ex partner he had to 'pacify me' by agreeing to supervised contact for six months and then my 'natural worrier instinct' would switch off and he could have unsupervised contact with our daughter (4years).
During the period of supervised contact I was worried that my daughter was coming back showing signs of neglect, in that he would have her for a full day and not feed her all day, she began wetting herself at school which was out of character wetting the bed too she also began acting violently towards several children in her class again out of character.
I was pretty much forced into the contact going unsupervised as once again all of these behaviours were minimised as her going through a phase and not being reminded enough at school to wee (even though she had never needed reminding before)
Two weeks into unsupervised contact my daughter came home starving after a day with ex partner and her clothes were wet as she had weed and he hadn'd changed her. This was literally a week after he had sat with CAFCASS and swore he fed her and a week after everything was finalised in court.
I called him up and told him that I was angry our daughter was still not being fed and that I was sick of her coming home starving and that he needed to get his act together he got really aggressive with me on the phone and told me he would teach me a lesson.
A week later he submitted papers to court to increase contact time with our daughter and told me in person this was a direct result of me questioning him and that if I questioned him again he would keep taking me back to court until he got full custody.
I was really upset as at the first hearing the judge decided despite the fact one a week prior to this he had agreed to a contact plan and absolutely nothing had changed in that time that he would allow another hearing in court. We had literally gone through the courts for two years and he took me back to court after 7 days and was allowed to do this.
I know he is only doing this as a means of punishing me and to still have power over me and cause me stress I genuinely dont think he wants to see our daughter more as she spends about half of her time with his mum during contact anyway while he's out with his mates.
However three weeks ago my ex partner assaulted our daughter and was subsequently arrested for this and released on bail with quite strict bail conditions.
Despite this though, the family court proceedings are still on going and I am due to see a district judge in court in 10 days time along with my ex partner to discuss access.
Part of my ex partners bail conditions are that he is not to come into contact with me or our child whatsoever, however despite this and despite me contacting the court to explain the situation they have still not decided whether to adjourn the family court hearing until after the criminal investigation and have told me its more than likely to go ahead.
Firstly this is a breach of my ex partners bail conditions as he is not allowed to come into contact with me and will be doing so in family court and to be honest I genuinely don't want to face him I feel really threatened and uncomfortable about this.
Also I don't want to be pressured into making any permanent decisions regarding our daughter while the criminal investigation is ongoing.
Is there anything I can do to get the case adjourned until the criminal investigation is completed? Also is there any way I can stop him repeatedly taking me to court I know full well as soon as this is over and all signed off I will be back at court again within two weeks because this is the only way he can now still have control over me.
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