Ex Partner not adhering to mediation agreement

[Master Chief]

Hi my ex, mother of my 6 year old, refuses to allow my son to call me or I to call him, contrary to our mediation agreement. Essentially, her new partner has issues with me and won't allow my son to speak with me by telephone as we'd arranged in mediation. What are my options?

Thanks

[atticus]

If (as seems likely) you cannot resolve this by agreement, you will need to apply to Court for a Child Arrangements Order under the Children Act 1989.

[Master Chief]

Thank you for your valued advice, I shall investigate and proceed.

MC

[Master Chief]

If I wanted to ask a judge for custody of my son, would the C100 form be the way forward?

I've taken the first step and have a meeting with the original mediator to issue me with the required mediation waiver documentation. However, having thought about this long and hard, I truly believe that my son would be better off living with me full time. for the reasons that I set out below.

My ex partner is a very selfish, self serving individual who puts her own feelings ahead of anyone else's, including our son's. She is completely unreasonable and hates me with a passion for leaving her. For reasons that I won't go into, she and her family have different views on legalities and skewed moral compasses compared to the vast majority of ordinary folk. This leads to a view that they are always right and justified in what they do, their way is the right and only way, even when presented with the facts and reality of a situation to the contrary.

Our relationship was not great when our son came along and deteriorated further due to her unwillingness to share parenting responsibilities, I was literally left holding the baby and trying to run a business at the same time, all while she was out shopping, indulging her passion for horses, spending time with her mother or having her hair and nails done. I don't begrudge a second of the time that I spent with our son, but after two and a half years of this and my business almost gone, our relationship was at an end, the arguments were affecting my son and for that reason, after sixteen years together, I decided to call time on it. I would have gladly become a single parent and continued to be the parent with the majority of care, but it was obvious that she would never accept that and as my past experience with family court had not been favourable, reluctantly I accepted that I would have to leave the family home.

I did have concerns at the time, but hoped that she would step up and become a good parent. That’'s really not been the case and since then my concerns have grown to the point where I had to contact social services, whom deemed it necessary to speak with her. I believe that there is a real danger to his physical, mental and developmental well-being. For example:

• He is regularly allowed to be in a moving vehicle without a booster seat or seat belt on, this also happens with his Grandfather, whom says “"it’'s only down the road"” when I have spoken to him about it.
• His Mum and her boyfriend use him as a ‘test pilot’, bringing ponies on to sell. She tells him it'’s his pony then sells it on for profit, putting him at risk from an unbroken pony and also mental anguish when his pet is sold. She once bought him a pet rabbit then promptly got rid of it, just so cruel!
• She used to lock him in his bedroom at night, until I informed social services. She claims that he won'’t go to sleep for her and so had to lock him in his room at night. He told me that he sometimes messed himself when she didn'’t answer his calls or knocking to go to the toilet. (I had to fight back the tears when he told me that). Oddly, he goes to sleep for me with no issues. During parents evening recently, his teacher told me that he is sleepy and lacks concentration during class, she was concerned enough to have spoken to me about it.
• The police have been called to her house for domestic disturbances and she has sported facial bruising that she claimed was due to falling off a bicycle, however there was no sign of any grazing as you might expect if that were the case. They have also had alcohol fuelled domestics whilst out in public and other signs of controlling behaviour from her boyfriend.
• He has told me that “Mummy had too much wine at nanny’s“ and then drove them home. There appears to be to be an issue with alcohol abuse in the household now.
• He often comes to me covered in what appears to be flea bites, and I’m not talking one or two odd bites either, more like a dozen or so each time. She ignores my request to avoid where ever it is that he is getting them from, or deal with the problem if it can’t be avoided.
• She makes our son call her boyfriend Dadda and they buy his affection with constant gifts. Aside, from the concerns that I have got about the boyfriend, I understand and accept that a new man in his life would want develop a relationship with him in time and I’m happy with that as long as he is treated well. But calling the boyfriend, Dad/Dadda of Daddy is not right and is confusing to his young mind.
• It is clear that she is trying to replace me as his father and she constantly uses our son in her mind games designed to upset and provoke me, regardless of how it affects him. She simply does not care or is unable to comprehend what she is doing to him in her effort to hurt me. She regularly bad mouths me to him, sends me horrible messages purporting to be from him and refuses to allow him to call me, or I to call him; despite there being a mediation agreement in place. For at least the second year running, I have been unable to speak to him and wish him a happy birthday, on the morning of his birthday. In my opinion, it is nothing short of mental abuse.

I can'’t speak to her and address my concerns as doing so just provokes an angry and aggressive response. I was forced to organise mediation when we first split due to her unreasonable behaviour and refusal to allow me to see our son, but she has constantly flouted our agreement.

I had to involve the police initially as she threatened harm and arson on more than one occasion and only ceased after the police had spoken to her the second occassion.

I've given her every opportunity to resolve these and other issues, but alas to no avail. Our son deserves to be treated with the care and decency that any child should expect of a parent. I have to do something for our son's sake to take him out of danger, give him a more wholesome upbringing and ensure that he develops and learns effectively at school.

Do I have a reasonable chance of getting custody based on these grounds? If I can’t, how do I ensure that she amends her ways and puts our sons safety and well being at he the forefront?




Thanks in advance and apologies about the length of my post.