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Access to daughter after seperation and custody advice

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  • Access to daughter after seperation and custody advice

    5 weeks ago my partner of 4 years decided to leave. Whilst I was at work, she got both her parents down to our house (mortgaged 50/50 owned) and emptied her stuff and took our daughter and is now living at her parents. She has always been a mummys girl, running to them in any situation because they have money, and lot's of it. Turns out she was sleeping with two of my friends, but thats another story. I am continuing to live in the house until I find somewhere else to live - with all the pets we have she has left me fending for.

    we are on roughly week 6 now and I'm being allowed to see her for the second time unaided. I was told I was allowed to see her for 12 hours before, if I was supervised with my parents. No idea why... I've had her on my own plenty.

    I do not have lots of money so cannot afford solicitors fees etc. All of my ex's decisions are being made by her parents, she admits that. When and how long I get to see my daughter, possession of items in the house. They are adopting parents and have absolute no rights over my daughter what-so-ever.

    I keep pestering for us to sit down and talk about visitation but every time i do I get ignored, or told she needs to speak to her mum. Although not formally diagnosed I am sure she is quite high on the spectrum (Ive worked in the industry) and it makes me very uncomfortable her being a mum. Currently she sleeps in till past 11AM, letting her parents do everything for my daughter. When she was at home, she would sleep on the sofa all day, leave my daughter in wet nappies whilst I was at work, not watch her, so she would pick up dangerous items and she actually smashed a glass and nearly fell in it the other month. So as it stands she is not being a mother, her grandparents are. She was very unhygenic leaving soiled nappies around the house, not changing daughters clothes etc.

    Now understandably I am angry over the situation - and Ideally I would like full custody of our daughter. But what are the odds - we are both living with our parents. My opinion is that she is not being raised by either of her parents right now - and I know I'd put my all in whereas her mother is not.

    I know it is going to go to the court route, but I guess I am worried about what decision they will make and if its less than I want. I would be happy with every weekend, not every other but of course Ideally I'd like full custody.

    Im 26, my daughter is 18 months. Such a horrible situation to be in, any advice is welcome.
    Tags: None

  • #2
    Hi Thomas

    Don't dispear and keep strong.

    islandgirl Can you please take a look and advise, many thanks.

    Comment


    • #3
      Hello Thomas unfortunately I am not a family magistrate so have no experience. I can only suggest a (usually free) initial interview with a FAMILY SPECIALIST solicitor and ask your questions plus an estimate of costs. I am so sorry that you are dealing with such a distressing situation.

      Comment


      • #4


        Thank you for your kind words

        Comment


        • #5
          I think there might be a route to resolve the matter without Court intervention, Mediation (cost effective for both parties). It will help you if the matter does go to Court, Courts will want you try everything before you resort to them.

          Also the 'interference' from her parents effectively get's sidelined as other parties are involved (mediators). In your area you should find mediators (see if there are Reviews for them).

          At random I've found the following site as a example.

          https://www.greenlightmediation.co.uk/

          https://www.greenlightmediation.co.u...e-and-services

          Comment


          • #6
            Originally posted by echat11 View Post
            I think there might be a route to resolve the matter without Court intervention, Mediation (cost effective for both parties). It will help you if the matter does go to Court, Courts will want you try everything before you resort to them.

            Also the 'interference' from her parents effectively get's sidelined as other parties are involved (mediators). In your area you should find mediators (see if there are Reviews for them).

            At random I've found the following site as a example.

            https://www.greenlightmediation.co.uk/

            https://www.greenlightmediation.co.u...e-and-services
            I have been advised to try mediation first - as most courts will want you to achieve this. Seems crazy to spend that sort of money to have no legally binding agreement. I will try anything though so I am now looking down those avenues. Thank you for your advice, it's truly appreciated

            Comment

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