Husband cheats and beats up his wife

[Xenaorbit]

Hi to all of you. I am quite concerned about my friend and would like to help her. My friend (a filipino) is married to an english guy who is cheating on her and then beats her up. I never knew about her situation until i heard from her last Monday when she rang me up crying, telling me that her husband beat her up again, and this time, the beating was much worse than before. She already tried reporting to the police but they didn't believe her and they sided with the husband despite the evidences of bruises on her body. I told her to seek legal help and file for a divorce but she's also worried that she might not be able to bring her children from the Philippines if that happens (her children's papers are already being processed). I am afraid that she might not pursue on suing her husband because she's thinking about her kids and might just continue to endure the beatings from her husband for the sake of them. I don't want my friend to end up in the hospital or somewhere worse because of this. Please i need some legal advice. Please don't try to judge her or anything. Thank you.

[Celestine]

Re: Husband cheats and beats up his wife

Hey Xena

We wouldn't dream of judging her for....what? Being a victim of domestic violence?? This is not her fault at all and is probably exacerbated by her Filipino background. Maybe he sees her as a commodity, a punch bag, who knows? What he is doing is categorically wrong.

I'm assuming the children in the Philippines are not his children but hers from a former relationship?

How old are these children? Does she still want to bring them to the UK to co-habit with this violent man?? I personally can see a multitude of problems with that. She will become even more vulnerable with them present.

There are many domestic violence helplines.
http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk but this is the first agency to contact.

Be a safe 'port of call' for her, it would be very sad if she ends up even more isolated and scared, she's going to need her friends very much to get through this.

xxx

[Xenaorbit]

Re: Husband cheats and beats up his wife

Hey Xena

We wouldn't dream of judging her for....what? Being a victim of domestic violence?? This is not her fault at all and is probably exacerbated by her Filipino background. Maybe he sees her as a commodity, a punch bag, who knows? What he is doing is categorically wrong.

I'm assuming the children in the Philippines are not his children but hers from a former relationship?

How old are these children? Does she still want to bring them to the UK to co-habit with this violent man?? I personally can see a multitude of problems with that. She will become even more vulnerable with them present.

There are many domestic violence helplines.
http://www.nationaldomesticviolencehelpline.org.uk but this is the first agency to contact.

Be a safe 'port of call' for her, it would be very sad if she ends up even more isolated and scared, she's going to need her friends very much to get through this.

xxx

--- She has 2 children from former relationship. One is 17 years old and the other is 10. I don't think she still wants to live with her husband especially if her children are already here. Right now her priority is to get the papers for her children so it seems like she will just continue enduring her husband's beatings.

[Inca]

Re: Husband cheats and beats up his wife

I have to echo Cel's concerns re the children,,it's imperative that your friend gets away from the thug husband long before she even considers bringing her kids here...Personally I feel she may be better off going back to the Phillpines to be with them rather than commit them to Hell on Earth in England.. I hope she gets the help she needs.

[Eloise01]

Re: Husband cheats and beats up his wife

She really needs to act decisively now - if his behaviour continues to go unreported and then she leaves him after the children arrive, he is going to tell the authorities that she only married him to get her children British passports, and that could leave her and them in a much worse position. She needs to go back to the police (perhaps you could go with her) and insist on speaking to their Domestic Violence Unit. Unfortunately, despite assertions to the contrary, there are still too many prehistoric police officers who think that women are lying or asking for it when they are victims of violence. You will find that there is a much different response from the specialist units.

[CleverClogs]

Re: Husband cheats and beats up his wife

As a gentleman sadist, I have nothing but the utmost contempt for a creature who hurts someone who doesn't like that.

Worse still, this oaf cheats on her and injures her - neither of which is acceptable in any way!

[wales01man]

Re: Husband cheats and beats up his wife

This lady must go to the police the OP should if she can insist that the police take action nobody male or female should be ignored by the police when violence is alleged it must be investigated take it up the chain of command at the police station if this is not stoped now what happens next?

[salsmoss]

Re: Husband cheats and beats up his wife

Name and shame

[CleverClogs]

Re: Husband cheats and beats up his wife

This lady must go to the police the OP should if she can insist that the police take action nobody male or female should be ignored by the police when violence is alleged it must be investigated take it up the chain of command at the police station if this is not stopped now what happens next?

The violence already seems to have escalated, so it seems likely that the pathetic apology for a man will break bones soon - possibly breaking her nose, or a few ribs. Or he might scald or burn her.

She may eventually try to defend herself with a knife which, if she's lucky, might end up in his guts.

[CleverClogs]

Re: Husband cheats and beats up his wife

Name and shame

Impossible, as such an oaf has no sense of shame - just self pity at the most.

[shell]

Re: Husband cheats and beats up his wife

Xena, she has to get out as soon as possible. If the violence is escalating it will just get worse. She needs to go back to the police and or contact womens aid. Her life could be in danger and she will be of no use to her kids if she is seriously maimed or worst case scenario, killed.

[enquirer]

Re: Husband cheats and beats up his wife

... he is going to tell the authorities that she only married him to get her children British passports ...

Why assume that he would not be telling the truth?

[Eloise01]

Re: Husband cheats and beats up his wife

Why assume that he would not be telling the truth?

Because if he believed that. the appropriate way to deal with that would be divorce - not violence. Or perhaps you think otherwise?

[CleverClogs]

Re: Husband cheats and beats up his wife

Why assume that he would not be telling the truth?

Apart from him being a pathetic pustule upon the arse of mankind and the sort of brutal boor who resorts to punching his wife?

[MIKE770]

Re: Husband cheats and beats up his wife

Why assume that he would not be telling the truth?

British Passport it does not work like that, there is a long process, 18 years and over = no way unless in england and British citenzship, and regulation goes on ( and changes in requirements so often),.