Financial Settlement Advice

[Robert71]

Hello there. I left my wife nearly 2 years ago embarrassingly what lead to my breakdown and what I endured during this time was revealed to be quite severe mental abuse, I didn't know what this actually was or entailed before this, so discovering I had gone through every of the stages of such abuse and the predicament I was facing forced me to follow the advice and get myself away without warning. My recovery has just been focused on seeing my children and closing down what has happened as it is just too much.. sadly I have been unable to keep my job of 34 years as my confidence as much as I tried is shot. I haven't sought medical help as for me just surviving and seeing my kids was all what mattered. I hoped to divorce my wife but didn't have any money. On hearing she planned to wait and divorce on grounds of disbandenment i said I was going to court to file as enough was enough, naturally she filed same day I got over lies about drinking and stealing after court said I could do very little and as didn't have funds I had to let it go.
I requested we set up a child care plan time and time again but she refused. She went straight to finances she ignored what can only be described as a nominal settlement from house and part of it was to be used to gauruntee child care costs as I feared I would loose my job.

I havent been able to co operate in settlement process as it has triggered off my mental health as its clear the abuse was finance related, if i asked for £1 she would still fight this as its part of the same abuse and maintaining she is right.. she has even put on statement of truth I was drinking, I stole from her bank and what has destroyed me is saying I swore in front of kids.. I was ill for over a year I didn't drink I have idea what on earth this stealing is about and the kids item is destroying me as its clear once she is done with finance she will then try to ruin me with kids.. she has spent 7000£ on this settlement without even once dismissing my offer or making her own this has yet again caused me untold hurt..

Isolate, without funds, financial proceedings have taken place and ice just been able to do nothing now in mid September the final hearing is taking place..I just dont know what to do I don't even care about money now I'll just have to survive but this is not going to be the end and I'm tormented as whilst I've said nothing to my kids about divorce I can't let history show just her version.. I'm so sorry this is long I can't tell you how much this is affecting me I just don't know what to do

[dslippy]

Get counselling, and rebuild

[Robert71]

Hi there thanks for reply.

I guess in my long tale I've missed the point of advice I so desperately need.

I've had to accept dealing with the financial settlement has really thrown me.. there was never a discussion over it she went straight ahead for court order, please bare I'm mind she knows I have nothing and wasn't earning at the time. She went straight ahead and hired a solicitor. It's really thrown me and I just wanted it to go away.

What has now troubled me is further lies on her statement of truth. Ive realised that she has simply outspent me as I can't get help and my real worry once sorted she will then use the kids as a weapon.

So I sincerely ask as I have no one.. what do I tell court on why I was unable to co operate. Do I explain its caused me real upset and by such lies I feel it A won't end or B with what I have gone through do I have to embarrassingly state that her actions have been purely to harm me and may have been for financial gain.. I truly am lost I assure you I am not paranoid but should I tell someone about this and who.. I just don't know what to do