Divorce

[firsttimer]

Hi I'm after some advice regarding a divorce.
My husband and myself are divorcing after 3 years of marriage, we have been going to mediation to sort out the finances with no joy.
The situation is, I have a 12 year old daughter from a previous relationship, he has none, he came to the relationship from a house share with a TV! I had a property before our relationship solely in my name which I now rent out. We purchased a property together in 2016, which I paid more towards the deposit. My husband has refused to leave the property. In May of this year he was sacked due to gross misconduct and has contributed nothing financially since April, I'm currently paying everything, despite him enjoying a social life and having holidays while I continue to work full time plus overtime to pay for everything.
The house has been valued and I made him an offer, I even offered an interim payment for him to leave as he's an emotional bully and it's an awful environment for my daughter, which he's refused. I want to remain in this house as its a stones throw from my child's school. He continues to refuse to leave or pay towards anything. My question is, will his lack of finanical input since April be taken into account in the financial settlement?

[Peridot]

Hi Firsttimer,

Feel for you, must be a really worrying time. Have you got a lawyer? Glad to see you've tried the mediation, even if it hasn't resolved the issue. Has your ex indicated what he would be willing to accept by way of settlement?

When you purchased the property together did you have a Deed of Trust drawn up to indicate you had put more into the deposit? I suspect not, most of us go into such purchases not expecting things to go wrong so feel any agreement indicates you don't trust the other person. It is really hard.

As far as any financial settlement is concerned if you are unable to reach agreement and the matter has to be dealt with by the Court they will look at a number of factors known as the section 25 factors. This includes the finances of each party, what assets there are, the needs of the parties, the length of the marriage as well as any child needs. There is more info here:- http://www.legislation.gov.uk/ukpga/1973/18/section/25

This is a short marriage and you came in with differing assets from the sound of it which will be taken into account. It would be worth keeping a not of what contributions he has actually made to mortgage payments bills etc just so you can evidence this. Things such as bank statements demonstrating the payments going from your account and nothing being received from him will be sufficient. If you have a joint account I would close that and try and keep everything separate going forward.

Maybe if you haven't already, get a free initial or reduced fee appointment with a family lawyer just to see the options and decide what offer would be reasonable to try and settle without the need to go to Court (although any agreement would still have to be approved by the Court).
I suggest preparing a time line of your relationship, marriage, house purchase, breakdown and contributions made by him as well as a synopsis of your finances (his too if you know them) so that you can keep to the facts when looking at the options.

You may have to face the fact the house has to be sold and start looking at what else is available in the school area. It may not be necessary if you are able to buy his share out for example but worth considering all your options.

Was the holiday already booked? If he doesn't have the money to go away I assume you have funded this and would question why you are doing that if he is making no contribution. It is of course your decision but I don't think I'd be as generous!

Do post back if we can give you any more pointers or explain anything further.

[firsttimer]

thank you peridot
sorry for the delay in replying. I do have a solicitor who I feel is just trying to prevent it going to court, which I don't want and im pretty sure he doesn't either. He still refuses to leave the house, hes still not paid anything towards it since april and still continues to holiday, shop, drink and fund a new girlfriend, all while im working 60hrs a week to pay for everything. All the payments to do with the house come from my bank account and I froze our joint account some time ago. His dismissal from work was over turned so he's not technically unemployed any more and he stands to get his wages back dated to April which is approx. £20000, none of which I will see I'm sure, and none of which he's mentioned in his pathetic sob story to my solicitor, he's not as destitute as he's making out. He's purposely remained un employed because he's having a financial and responsibility free lifestyle, because he can.
I've done everything I've been asked to do, reported his abusive behaviour, reported the incidents where he has been threatening, reported the incidents when he has stolen and damaged my property, yet he's still allowed to stay in the house and contribute nothing to it!
He refused my last offer, again.
I'm currently trying to sort the transfer of property out but Halifax are not particularly helpful.
How can I get rid of this parasite!?