Children's rights ???

[Peridot]

Re: Children's rights ???

It will all come out. It's just about gauging when and how the information should be given, without seeming to be a rant about him and the lack of support and fathering he has done over the last few years.
I'm not for one minute suggesting that you would do that, but I'm sure you get what I mean. I have on so many occasions tried to get everything out at once, 'and another thing' type conversation and it doesn't always come across in the right way. As I said previously in my opinion it is a good thing CAFCASS are involved, it will take the pressure off you to a certain degree and involve the girls in the decision, which can only be a good thing. Fortunately they are of an age where they can express their views and the Court should take notice, particularly with your 15 year old.
You will be fine, you obviously care deeply for the girl's and they sound very sensible. The CAFCASS officer will see that. All you can do is be honest.
Here if you need a bit of support.

[Allbee1]

Re: Children's rights ???

Hi Peridot.

I will I'll definitely be honest with the cafcass worker. I dont tell the kids what to think. They have seen things and made their own decisions. However I have to say I'm pleased with the decision as what they have seen no child should see. So I've no problems with her speaking with the kids. I don't call dad anything he's not spoken about as when he is my youngest goes in to a verbally angry and aggressive way.

I was was reading through the c100 form I think it is. And he has already lied on it. Stating we were married before we had my youngest. Very strange as she was at the wedding as a little flower girl. Also spelling my older daughters name wrong and saying there were no issues prior to him meeting someone new end of last year.

I dont one know where he thinks these lies will get him. I read this stuff and just sat here shaking my head.

Believe me if he was a great dad he would be having that contact as the kids wouldn't have a problem with him and nor would I.
My sons father saw him every weekend and never missed a week plus holidays and now he is 21 this year lives with his father. So I'm quite offended he is using the I've got a new gf bull. I have no issues with his new gf never spoke to her.

[Peridot]

Re: Children's rights ???

Hi Allbee1,
That is a good thing. CAFCASS are all about trying to establish the children's views and suggesting what would be good for them. CAFCASS officers are generally pretty sensible. Be honest with them, explain the past issues as calmly as you can. Don't forget this is about what is right for the girl's and also about what they want. The CAFCASS officer may well wish to speak to them at some point, which is usual. They need to be encouraged to say how they feel.
It is really difficult, we all try and protect our kids but in doing so we can sometimes put a lot of our issues onto them. In my opinion you have some valid reasons for concern which the Court need to be aware of. However there may be alternative way of dealing with the issues and the CAFCASS officer will no doubt make some suggestions once they have the full picture. Just be open to it in the short term at least. The Court will most likely follow the recommendations made by CAFCASS.
From the Court's point of view they need to see that you are doing all you can for the welfare of the children, even supporting contact with their father, I'm afraid. But it seems the Court do not know the whole situation so talking to the CAFCASS officer will allow more information to be provided that will be taken into consideration.

[Allbee1]

Re: Children's rights ???

I've never been involved with ss I have full custody of my child. Ex is taking me court for contact. The letter is a first initial phone interview to discuss the case for the very first court date.

[Crazy council]

Re: Children's rights ???

Hi

Caffcass are different to the SS, deal with them openly and honestly,

I would also,
Ask SS to outline any objections they have to care being returned to you
If they have any issuse with you or your lifestyle, ask for what steps to overcome them,

Are there any reports being done ( caffcass or SS )

[Allbee1]

Re: Children's rights ???

So I've received a letter from cafcass today stating a phone appt. is it best to speak with a solicitor before speaking with carcass ?

Thanks

[Allbee1]

Re: Children's rights ???

Thanks. I've checked those already and says I'm possibly eligible. Waiting for a call back but not holding out much hope. Will call the others after speaking to these on gov website.

can always sell the car as last resort. These kids are worth every ounce of my best efforts to keep them mentally and physically safe and stable.

Thanks so much for all your advice and help. You don't know how much it's appreciated.

[Peridot]

Re: Children's rights ???

Hi Allbee1,
Have you checked the gov't website? They have a section on eligibility here: https://www.gov.uk/legal-aid/eligibility
Also a ready reckoner here: https://www.gov.uk/check-legal-aid
If you are not eligible then I would get in touch with the organisations we mentioned above Gingerbread and Coram. The links to their sites are also above in post #29
You can do this, you will need support though, which you have to ask for.

[Kati]

Re: Children's rights ???

tagging [MENTION=85500]Peridot[/MENTION] [MENTION=87380]Diana M[/MENTION] xx

[Allbee1]

Re: Children's rights ???

Ok so finally got a letter from court instructing me of a date for the start of the contact case with the my daughter. So I instruct a solicitor who says I'm ineligible for legal aid even with the domestic abuse. Amazing. So just me against him and his solicitor pay rolled by his parents. Really got to love life sometimes.

Anybody have any any advice or reasoning why I wouldn't be eligible for legal aid even when still in 5 year window.


Thanks in advance

[Allbee1]

Re: Children's rights ???

I don't know if this will help anyone else in my situation of being short on money yet needing legal advice/help. But there's an organisation called clock.uk.net. That I was told about I'm not sure how far and wide there services will go however if it helps someone else here's the link. https://clock.uk.net/ pleases delete or advise if this is not allowed but hoped it may help others struggling financially to. X

[Allbee1]

Re: Mediation letter

Thank you so much x

[Kati]

Re: Mediation letter

Maybe @Kati can merge the threads to keep the conversation going if that would help

Thanks that would great if she could merge the posts.

sorted
[MENTION=93640]Allbee1[/MENTION] ... I cannot help you in this, but I have to echo the other Beagles by saying you're a GREAT mum xx

[Allbee1]

Re: Mediation letter

Thanks that would great if she could merge the posts.

[Diana M]

Re: Mediation letter

Hello Allbee1

I posted on your previous thread in a light-hearted way (as an ex-wife with endless ex-husband and second wife access to our child stuff) but I can now see things are becoming more serious for you.

Maybe @Kati can merge the threads to keep the conversation going if that would help >

http://legalbeagles.info/forums/show...579#post702579

You come across as a Good Mum.

I'm a Good Mum too but it took a lot of time and emotional energy to get the court to see that.

They did eventually.

Hang on in there.

Di xx