My Brothers X partner will only accept child maintenace by cash which is worrying

[Law1978]

My brother has been separated from his x girlfriend whom is the mother of his 2 children, she kicked him out just over a year ago and since then our family have been going through hell, she is refusing to let the children see our family, she will only allow my brother to see them every 3rd weekend but demands that she is present (whilst she is there she just wants to argue with my brother so he gets no quality time), she has brainwashed the two children to hate him (she gets their 5 year old daughter to call him and say daddy why don't you love us anymore, if you don't want to be with us anymore then we do not want to see you) its killing my brother and my family. He is having mediation at present but she never sticks to her agreements, she blames our whole family over the split, but she kicked him out! The Mediation staff saw the children on their own and they told them they love both of them and do want to see there dad, but his x said they are lairs the kids didn't say that! we know this is going to end up in court but until the mediation is finished solictors will not get involved (mediation is a very long drawn out process) - however our main concern at the moment is that she keeps telling people my brother doesn't give her any money, but he has been paying her cash up until now, but because she is capable of anything my brother has rightly said if you will not accept a cheque, will not give me your bank account details she needs to sign a receipt for the money, but she is refusing - what is the best way to get around this to show that he has very much been paying his way?

[enaid]

Re: My Brothers X partner will only accept child maintenace by cash which is worrying

Hi and welcome,
Would it not be possible to open an account in the childs name ? you could then pay the money in.
If your Ex wanted to draw out the money then she would have to come to some arrangement with you so she could get it. This also may just make her give in and allow you to put the money in her account.
Just a thought may not be possible but it is unfair that she is saying nothing is being paid.
Enaid x

[leclerc]

Re: My Brothers X partner will only accept child maintenace by cash which is worrying

I have to say that I completely agree with Enaid that, you should either open a bank account in their name(if you have a copy of their birth certificate) and put in the amount in cash so that you have a receipt OR draw out the exact amount of money that you would pay her from the bank so that every month you have concrete proof that money was withdrawn from the bank.

In terms of seeing the family, I think you need to give in to that kind of demand, ie that the kids cannot see the children anymore(for the time being). Remember: Grandparents also have the right to ask for contact so your mother/father could look at the grandparent's association: http://www.grandparents-association....d-contact.html

The money thing is important because IF she claims that you never gave her money then the bank accounts are proof that they were and that you can argue she never provided a bank account to put it into and she would not accept a cheque.

Hope the above is useful to you

[enquirer]

Re: My Brothers X partner will only accept child maintenace by cash which is worrying

He is having mediation at present but she never sticks to her agreements ...

Is this fully documented? If not, begin immediately. A paper trail that demonstrates her dishonesty and unreasonable behaviour is a very strong weapon.

The Mediation staff saw the children on their own ...

On their own? How old are the children?

... our main concern at the moment is that she keeps telling people my brother doesn't give her any money ...

This might be held to amount to defamation. Bear this in mind for the future.

... but he has been paying her cash up until now ...

This is often the case, and it's always unwise.

... but because she is capable of anything ...

Frankly, your brother needs to get with the program, or she will stitch him up in court and he will lose the children. This is war, so think and plan accordingly.

... what is the best way to get around this to show that he has very much been paying his way?

As leclerc suggests, open accounts in the childrens names. This will show her to be a liar, and again lays a paper trail.