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COMMENTS ON MY POSITION STATEMENT PLEASE
Brief history
1.We met in Thailand January 2003 and married on 12th May 2003. We have been married for 10 years. On 20th May 2013 xxxxxx left the matrimonial home taking our two children with her.(childs name) is now 7 years old and.(childs name) is now 5 years old. They have been denied all contact with me since, even by phone or letter. It has been 4 months since they have seen 0r had any contact with their Dad.
2.Prior to xxxxxxx leaving the matrimonial home I was very close to the girls and saw them every day. I was fully involved in every aspect of their lives, including school, caring for their physical and emotional wellbeing and the “nuts and bolts” of parenting, to the more fun elements such has weekly swimming lessens, Irish dancing, playing games and days out etc (Exhibit 1). To date I have not had any contact with them and have not been informed of where the girls are living or the school they attend.
3.Both girls had attended “St Josephs” and “St Bede in Bury” this school is one of the best in the area. .(childs name) had attended this school for 3 years and for .(childs name) 1 ½ years. On 20th May 2013 xxxxxxxx unilaterally and without warning took the children out of this school. xxxxxxx has refused to inform me or even discuss any new school with me.
4.The relationship with xxxxxxx and me had been experiencing difficulties in the last 2 years. We had agreed to continue to live together, and try to agree on our parenting styles. This arrangement was the best for the children. It has been acknowledged by both parties that we have different Parenting styles, I believe that xxxxxxxx actions have been prompted because she refuses to discuss parenting .(childs name) and .(childs name) with me.
5.XXXXXX and I would argue mostly when .(childs name) and .(childs name) cry and shout for their Daddy. When their mother was doing maths homework with them or reading they would sometimes cry and shout for Daddy, I did ignore this most of the time, but sometimes I ask xxxxxx if she could be a little more easy on them and give them a break, this would result in us arguing. My wife was not hurting them, but when they shout for me I found it hard to ignore. When I did ignore I felt I was neglecting them. This is how I felt.
6) (the children’s social worker) interviewed the children in June 2013 it was identified that the children wanted to see me and that xxxxx had no problem with this (Exhibit 2). To improve our parenting skills we had engaged, and I completed the Webstar Stretton Parenting Course (Exhibit 3). We were also receiving support from Tracy Beswick a Parenting Support Advisor.
Concerns
1.I refute any allegations relating to my alleged behaviour or purported substance abuse. To this end I have assisted the court in this matter by providing the results of a hair strand test for cannabis taken by my GP. Also I have provided the results a liver function gamma GT test for alcohol, taken by my GP (Exhibit 4). Any convictions are historical 20 years ago or more. xxxxx was more than happy for me to have care of both girls since they were born, which I did every day in a responsible and caring manner with no problems.
2.The move from the matrimonial home was prompted by an express wish to refuse to co-parent our children . The Core Assessment report identified that “parents required continued support in respect of parenting styles”.
3.During the Core Assessment completed on 19th March 2013 also reported in the CAFCASS schedule 2 letter to the court, our children disclosed “that they have witnessed domestic abuse when “xxxxxxx has been both the victim and perpetrator”.
4.The relationship has been volatile and I have suffered domestic abuse, violence at xxxxxx hands. The attached picture was an incident that took place in march 2012 Crime ref: No 1945- 19/03/12 I reported this to the police, I did not press charges, I did not want to get my wife into trouble. (Exhibit 5).
5. I had a meeting .(childs name) social worker at the Higher Lane Safeguarding Centre on the 17th June 2013, she told me she had talked to .(childs name) a few days before (alone) and asked “.(childs name) are you looking forward to seeing your dad?” .(childs name) replied “yes my Daddy will buy me something nice, I miss my Daddy and will see Daddy in a few weeks.” socail worker told xxxxx that the children wanted to see their dad, and asked xxxxx “if she had any problems with me seeing the children?” xxxx replied “no I do not”. This information was given to me by the social worker and she can confirm it to be true.
6) I asked .(childs name) social worker if she had any problem with me looking after the children when they stay with me for a few days? She replied “no I do not”. I asked will the children have a social worker when they stay with me? she replied “no way should they?” she added the problem is not with you or your Wife looking after your children, the problem is you and your Wife living together, “And contact arrangements is a private matter you both need to sort out”.
7.During the Child/Young Persons Assessment completed on 04th March 2013 it was identified “.(childs name) are both delightful and well cared for and are a testament to “the good job both parents are doing”.
8.During the Core Assessment completed on 19th March 2013 both .(childs name) where interviewed at their school several times over 3 months, by (Social Worker) and never showed any concerns over my parenting and love to them, they where both doing well at school, .(childs name) benefitted from being with their Father.
9.I and xxxxx have no problem looking after .(childs name) we only have a problem living together has a couple, we are not living together now, I would like to move forward as soon as possible for the benefit of our two Girls.
10.Both girls need stability and routine. They have been uprooted from their everyday lives from school, friends, their Father and their home.
11.It has been identified within the report from CAFCASS dated 17th July 2013 that xxxxxx has admitted to having depression and abusing alcohol. On 9th November 2012 Saifon was admitted to hospital, after I phoned the ambulance, I fear that this will have a destabilising effect on both .(childs name)
12 I want to be fair and equal with my Wife and come to an agreement with her to sort contact out with our children. I hope she will be the same with me. I am free for contact with .(childs name) any days of the week.
13 I love and need .(childs name) and they have shown many times they love and need me, the separation from their father is painful, it must be painful for them too. In all the assessments that have been completed by the children’s services, their is not one word that says I am unsuitable as a father or I have done them any harm, I may not be the perfect husband, but I am and always will be a good and responsible father. Our children’s best interests is having full contact with their Daddy and their Mummy
14.Continued separation from their father can only do damage to .(childs name) Your Honour In this case, as shown by the above Assessments completed only a few weeks before my wife left, their are many benefits of contact with their father and their are no risks at all. They would stay in the family home with their father and cared for as always in a responsible manner as they have been for the past 7 years.
Any concerns Cafcass may have are coming from xxxxxx. Up-un-till xxxxxx took them from their family home (childs names) had no concerns at all about their father looking after them and never will have
Order Sought
1.A Specific Issues Order requesting the name of the girls’ new school and address. I want to be fully involved with their school as I have always been.
2 Equal Residency Contact order for applicant and respondent, alternate 3 days for applicant 4 days for respondent, collect and take our girls to school and half school holidays for both mother and father.
3 If my wife is unwilling to negotiate ( I hope she will ) with me, then I am left with no option but to respectfully request for unsupervised incremental contact 3 days a week. and that this be ratified in a tempery Contact Order.
4.There be indirect contact such as Telephone and letters two times a week to commence immediately.
I fully support the CAFCASS recommendation for a s7 report to be filed at court, if the court feels this is necessary. The matter be relisted at court as soon as possible
5.I request the court to refer us to the SPIP (Separated Parents Information Programme ) at the earliest opportunity, so we can put aside our differences and concentrate on what’s best for our children. I think it will be good for our children. Thank you.
Brief history
1.We met in Thailand January 2003 and married on 12th May 2003. We have been married for 10 years. On 20th May 2013 xxxxxx left the matrimonial home taking our two children with her.(childs name) is now 7 years old and.(childs name) is now 5 years old. They have been denied all contact with me since, even by phone or letter. It has been 4 months since they have seen 0r had any contact with their Dad.
2.Prior to xxxxxxx leaving the matrimonial home I was very close to the girls and saw them every day. I was fully involved in every aspect of their lives, including school, caring for their physical and emotional wellbeing and the “nuts and bolts” of parenting, to the more fun elements such has weekly swimming lessens, Irish dancing, playing games and days out etc (Exhibit 1). To date I have not had any contact with them and have not been informed of where the girls are living or the school they attend.
3.Both girls had attended “St Josephs” and “St Bede in Bury” this school is one of the best in the area. .(childs name) had attended this school for 3 years and for .(childs name) 1 ½ years. On 20th May 2013 xxxxxxxx unilaterally and without warning took the children out of this school. xxxxxxx has refused to inform me or even discuss any new school with me.
4.The relationship with xxxxxxx and me had been experiencing difficulties in the last 2 years. We had agreed to continue to live together, and try to agree on our parenting styles. This arrangement was the best for the children. It has been acknowledged by both parties that we have different Parenting styles, I believe that xxxxxxxx actions have been prompted because she refuses to discuss parenting .(childs name) and .(childs name) with me.
5.XXXXXX and I would argue mostly when .(childs name) and .(childs name) cry and shout for their Daddy. When their mother was doing maths homework with them or reading they would sometimes cry and shout for Daddy, I did ignore this most of the time, but sometimes I ask xxxxxx if she could be a little more easy on them and give them a break, this would result in us arguing. My wife was not hurting them, but when they shout for me I found it hard to ignore. When I did ignore I felt I was neglecting them. This is how I felt.
6) (the children’s social worker) interviewed the children in June 2013 it was identified that the children wanted to see me and that xxxxx had no problem with this (Exhibit 2). To improve our parenting skills we had engaged, and I completed the Webstar Stretton Parenting Course (Exhibit 3). We were also receiving support from Tracy Beswick a Parenting Support Advisor.
Concerns
1.I refute any allegations relating to my alleged behaviour or purported substance abuse. To this end I have assisted the court in this matter by providing the results of a hair strand test for cannabis taken by my GP. Also I have provided the results a liver function gamma GT test for alcohol, taken by my GP (Exhibit 4). Any convictions are historical 20 years ago or more. xxxxx was more than happy for me to have care of both girls since they were born, which I did every day in a responsible and caring manner with no problems.
2.The move from the matrimonial home was prompted by an express wish to refuse to co-parent our children . The Core Assessment report identified that “parents required continued support in respect of parenting styles”.
3.During the Core Assessment completed on 19th March 2013 also reported in the CAFCASS schedule 2 letter to the court, our children disclosed “that they have witnessed domestic abuse when “xxxxxxx has been both the victim and perpetrator”.
4.The relationship has been volatile and I have suffered domestic abuse, violence at xxxxxx hands. The attached picture was an incident that took place in march 2012 Crime ref: No 1945- 19/03/12 I reported this to the police, I did not press charges, I did not want to get my wife into trouble. (Exhibit 5).
5. I had a meeting .(childs name) social worker at the Higher Lane Safeguarding Centre on the 17th June 2013, she told me she had talked to .(childs name) a few days before (alone) and asked “.(childs name) are you looking forward to seeing your dad?” .(childs name) replied “yes my Daddy will buy me something nice, I miss my Daddy and will see Daddy in a few weeks.” socail worker told xxxxx that the children wanted to see their dad, and asked xxxxx “if she had any problems with me seeing the children?” xxxx replied “no I do not”. This information was given to me by the social worker and she can confirm it to be true.
6) I asked .(childs name) social worker if she had any problem with me looking after the children when they stay with me for a few days? She replied “no I do not”. I asked will the children have a social worker when they stay with me? she replied “no way should they?” she added the problem is not with you or your Wife looking after your children, the problem is you and your Wife living together, “And contact arrangements is a private matter you both need to sort out”.
7.During the Child/Young Persons Assessment completed on 04th March 2013 it was identified “.(childs name) are both delightful and well cared for and are a testament to “the good job both parents are doing”.
8.During the Core Assessment completed on 19th March 2013 both .(childs name) where interviewed at their school several times over 3 months, by (Social Worker) and never showed any concerns over my parenting and love to them, they where both doing well at school, .(childs name) benefitted from being with their Father.
9.I and xxxxx have no problem looking after .(childs name) we only have a problem living together has a couple, we are not living together now, I would like to move forward as soon as possible for the benefit of our two Girls.
10.Both girls need stability and routine. They have been uprooted from their everyday lives from school, friends, their Father and their home.
11.It has been identified within the report from CAFCASS dated 17th July 2013 that xxxxxx has admitted to having depression and abusing alcohol. On 9th November 2012 Saifon was admitted to hospital, after I phoned the ambulance, I fear that this will have a destabilising effect on both .(childs name)
12 I want to be fair and equal with my Wife and come to an agreement with her to sort contact out with our children. I hope she will be the same with me. I am free for contact with .(childs name) any days of the week.
13 I love and need .(childs name) and they have shown many times they love and need me, the separation from their father is painful, it must be painful for them too. In all the assessments that have been completed by the children’s services, their is not one word that says I am unsuitable as a father or I have done them any harm, I may not be the perfect husband, but I am and always will be a good and responsible father. Our children’s best interests is having full contact with their Daddy and their Mummy
14.Continued separation from their father can only do damage to .(childs name) Your Honour In this case, as shown by the above Assessments completed only a few weeks before my wife left, their are many benefits of contact with their father and their are no risks at all. They would stay in the family home with their father and cared for as always in a responsible manner as they have been for the past 7 years.
Any concerns Cafcass may have are coming from xxxxxx. Up-un-till xxxxxx took them from their family home (childs names) had no concerns at all about their father looking after them and never will have
Order Sought
1.A Specific Issues Order requesting the name of the girls’ new school and address. I want to be fully involved with their school as I have always been.
2 Equal Residency Contact order for applicant and respondent, alternate 3 days for applicant 4 days for respondent, collect and take our girls to school and half school holidays for both mother and father.
3 If my wife is unwilling to negotiate ( I hope she will ) with me, then I am left with no option but to respectfully request for unsupervised incremental contact 3 days a week. and that this be ratified in a tempery Contact Order.
4.There be indirect contact such as Telephone and letters two times a week to commence immediately.
I fully support the CAFCASS recommendation for a s7 report to be filed at court, if the court feels this is necessary. The matter be relisted at court as soon as possible
5.I request the court to refer us to the SPIP (Separated Parents Information Programme ) at the earliest opportunity, so we can put aside our differences and concentrate on what’s best for our children. I think it will be good for our children. Thank you.
Bodlovic - sorry, missed it first time round but it's in point 11 too (wife's name). 
x
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