Daughter being christened without my consent.

[andrewjones]

My ex partner is having our daughter christened on the 16th May and has only just told me about it. The problem that causes is due to us living in two different cities 60miles apart and being told at such short notice most of my family and friends cannot make it due to work or other commitments, that had they had known earlier would have been able took re-arrange or book off. Even though my ex would not have known this on the, my dad goes for chemotherapy every other weekend and this happens to be on the weekend of the christening, so neither he nor my mother will be able to attend. Had my ex partner discussed this with me we could have arranged the christening on a date that suited everyone. Now as i am not religious i dont object to my ex christening our daughter however i had hope that when she gets it done i would be able to enjoy it.

I called the church that my ex had planned the christening at and spoke to the priest there and he informed me that the christening had been booked before Easter yet my ex only told me yesterday! This made matters even worse because when i spoke to her and asked why the such short notice she said it was due to a cancellation of another christening and had only booked it that day, which turned out no to be true. Furthermore the priest had told me my name was on the booking form, therefore I had consented to the christening.

Now as a father, with parental responsibility, it was to my belief that i had a say on my daughters religion. Even though it is not in my intention to stop my ex from having our daughter christened, can i get the christening re-arranged for a day that suited the both of us. I feel that my ex should never have arranged for such an event without my knowing and it is more than reasonable to have the christening changed. Can any one tell me where i stand on this? or give me some advice based on a similar experience.

Cheers

Andy

[righty]

Re: Daughter being christened without my consent.

You would have to enforce any rights you might have through the courts as only they could stop the christening ......... & frankly as it does not constitute child neglect or add to the child's deprivation (only yours) I doubt they would interfere

[natweststaffmember]

Re: Daughter being christened without my consent.

My ex partner is having our daughter christened on the 16th May and has only just told me about it. The problem that causes is due to us living in two different cities 60miles apart and being told at such short notice most of my family and friends cannot make it due to work or other commitments, that had they had known earlier would have been able took re-arrange or book off. Even though my ex would not have known this on the, my dad goes for chemotherapy every other weekend and this happens to be on the weekend of the christening, so neither he nor my mother will be able to attend. Had my ex partner discussed this with me we could have arranged the christening on a date that suited everyone. Now as i am not religious i dont object to my ex christening our daughter however i had hope that when she gets it done i would be able to enjoy it.

I called the church that my ex had planned the christening at and spoke to the priest there and he informed me that the christening had been booked before Easter yet my ex only told me yesterday! This made matters even worse because when i spoke to her and asked why the such short notice she said it was due to a cancellation of another christening and had only booked it that day, which turned out no to be true. Furthermore the priest had told me my name was on the booking form, therefore I had consented to the christening.

Now as a father, with parental responsibility, it was to my belief that i had a say on my daughters religion. Even though it is not in my intention to stop my ex from having our daughter christened, can i get the christening re-arranged for a day that suited the both of us. I feel that my ex should never have arranged for such an event without my knowing and it is more than reasonable to have the christening changed. Can any one tell me where i stand on this? or give me some advice based on a similar experience.

Cheers

Andy

How important is it to you? Is there anyway that when you have access to the child that you can organise a blessing of sorts at your local church?(not saying it is ideal but in the scheme of things perhaps this might be a solution so that her family and your family can celebrate this event).

[Smasher]

Re: Daughter being christened without my consent.

This is spookily similar to my own daughter's christening. I didn't even go, but given that I'm not a religeous man either, I took it all with a pinch of salt.
I mean no disrespect to those who are religeous, but its just that that was the last time she saw the inside of a church until a recent family wedding.

I guess it depends how important it is to you, maybe you could take it up with the church if you really want to. But if its just about missing out on another 'special day' it might be better to just let it go and take her somewhere nice next time you see her. If she is not religeous either, she'll probably consider a day at chessington zoo more special than getting dressed up to get water poured on her head..

[scoobydoo]

Re: Daughter being christened without my consent.

I agree about the blessing - my son had an emergency christening in hospital with no other family members present and then when he was about 2 he had a blessing at the same time as my daughter was christened. If you want to arrange that with your side of the family and then have a little get together afterwards - however you want it done - rather than as your ex has organised it you may find that more of a special day .

[tombeloro]

Re: Daughter being christened without my consent.

I was think why not just have a second christening for your daughter in your home city, were your family and friends can attend. I dont think there is a law to stop you christening your daughter twice. Maybe someone can correct me if am wrong?