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My daughter died in a car accident leaving two little girls then aged 3 and 5.
Prior to the accident and since the birth of the girls she suffered mental, physical and financial abuse from the live-in Father as named on the birth certificate.
As Grandparents we knew her situation but failed her in life by continually cowing down to this controlling individual and his mental issues.
We paid for her funeral and engaged a solicitor for the girls trust fund to be claimed from the guilty driver from our family car insurance policy.
After realising that the insurance were not going to pay out until the driver had been convicted (maybe 12 months); and benefiting from a local charity fund set up by my daughters 'mums' network of friends,
we started finding it very difficult to get to see the girls.
On the occasions that we did get to see them we found ourselves in 'staged' and controlled situations where it was difficult to show them any of the affection we had given them almost everyday of their lives.
From their behaviour we could tell that the controlling ways he had used with our daughter were now being used on the girls to erase their mother from their lives.
After receiving a maniacal threatening 'stay away or else' recording from him, we felt no option but to involve the police as we feared for their safety and welfare.
Once the investigation by police and child services was complete we thought we had a 'slam dunk' case where the family court would help us to be able to watch over the girls future welfare and finances.
We realised we were not going to see the girls grow up - but we were resolved to look out for their welfare on behalf of our daughter who we had let down, so as Maternal Grandparents we started a Contact Arrangement application.
After a number of hearings, the death of my wife, lots of costs and a useless performance from an inept solicitor, I began representing myself as the Father was failing to turn up at court, claiming his mental anxieties, and stating he would not attend any future hearings as he was 'leaving the country' (to Wales from England it transpired).
Two more 'absent' hearings followed where having been encouraged to withdraw the Contact Application the judge said he was taking the unusual step of removing the Grandparents Application because of the indirect harm that my application was doing to the girls.
After some effort I later managed to obtain probate for the girls in respect the car insurance claim - which is actually useless unless I spend thousands more on legal costs, as upon contacting his solicitor with evidence of probate.. the police knocked on my door.
This court order that removed my previously granted Grandparents was then used as evidence in an allegation of harassing him for sending the girls birthday cards and gifts of educational stuff !
Interviewed under caution for trying to care for my Grandchildren - despite at no time was I under any non-molestation order, the only way I got out of the police station without threat of a charge hanging over me was to agree not to send any more gifts.
Needless to say any faith or respect I had for the Family Court system and Child Services as a concerned Grandparent is totally gone.
I currently have exhausted my funds on all legal ways to care for my Grandchildren, and find a name on a birth certificate is treated as a cast iron license to do what you like with children.
Having spoken to many Grandparents over a number of years I have yet to find any successful outcomes for them or their Grandchildren.
Sorry this post reads like Tolstoy's War and Peace - it was meant as an open enquiry to any Grandparents who had also been treated inhumanely by the system at the expense of their Grandchildren welfare.
Prior to the accident and since the birth of the girls she suffered mental, physical and financial abuse from the live-in Father as named on the birth certificate.
As Grandparents we knew her situation but failed her in life by continually cowing down to this controlling individual and his mental issues.
We paid for her funeral and engaged a solicitor for the girls trust fund to be claimed from the guilty driver from our family car insurance policy.
After realising that the insurance were not going to pay out until the driver had been convicted (maybe 12 months); and benefiting from a local charity fund set up by my daughters 'mums' network of friends,
we started finding it very difficult to get to see the girls.
On the occasions that we did get to see them we found ourselves in 'staged' and controlled situations where it was difficult to show them any of the affection we had given them almost everyday of their lives.
From their behaviour we could tell that the controlling ways he had used with our daughter were now being used on the girls to erase their mother from their lives.
After receiving a maniacal threatening 'stay away or else' recording from him, we felt no option but to involve the police as we feared for their safety and welfare.
Once the investigation by police and child services was complete we thought we had a 'slam dunk' case where the family court would help us to be able to watch over the girls future welfare and finances.
We realised we were not going to see the girls grow up - but we were resolved to look out for their welfare on behalf of our daughter who we had let down, so as Maternal Grandparents we started a Contact Arrangement application.
After a number of hearings, the death of my wife, lots of costs and a useless performance from an inept solicitor, I began representing myself as the Father was failing to turn up at court, claiming his mental anxieties, and stating he would not attend any future hearings as he was 'leaving the country' (to Wales from England it transpired).
Two more 'absent' hearings followed where having been encouraged to withdraw the Contact Application the judge said he was taking the unusual step of removing the Grandparents Application because of the indirect harm that my application was doing to the girls.
After some effort I later managed to obtain probate for the girls in respect the car insurance claim - which is actually useless unless I spend thousands more on legal costs, as upon contacting his solicitor with evidence of probate.. the police knocked on my door.
This court order that removed my previously granted Grandparents was then used as evidence in an allegation of harassing him for sending the girls birthday cards and gifts of educational stuff !
Interviewed under caution for trying to care for my Grandchildren - despite at no time was I under any non-molestation order, the only way I got out of the police station without threat of a charge hanging over me was to agree not to send any more gifts.
Needless to say any faith or respect I had for the Family Court system and Child Services as a concerned Grandparent is totally gone.
I currently have exhausted my funds on all legal ways to care for my Grandchildren, and find a name on a birth certificate is treated as a cast iron license to do what you like with children.
Having spoken to many Grandparents over a number of years I have yet to find any successful outcomes for them or their Grandchildren.
Sorry this post reads like Tolstoy's War and Peace - it was meant as an open enquiry to any Grandparents who had also been treated inhumanely by the system at the expense of their Grandchildren welfare.