• Welcome to the LegalBeagles Consumer and Legal Forum.
    Please Register to get the most out of the forum. Registration is free and only needs a username and email address.
    REGISTER
    Please do not post your full name, reference numbers or any identifiable details on the forum.

Grandmother won't give the kids back

Collapse
Loading...
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Grandmother won't give the kids back

    Hi all,
    new to the forum, been scouring the web for some advice but I can't find anything based on a similar situation. SOOO....

    My partner's eldest two (8+11), my bonus kids, went to their grandmother's over the school holidays 4 weeks ago and are still not back. It was supposed to be a 1 week trip.
    The day they were due back there was "car troubles" meaning they were going to be a couple of days late (nans approx 200 miles away) we accepted that as an inconvenience, my partner doesn't drive and I was working away so couldn't make the trip myself.
    From here there was a week or so of "it will be tomorrow" with tomorrow never arriving, followed by the positive covid tests... "The whole house has come down with it so we can't leave"

    Fast forward to yesterday, the end of the 4th week, I got back from work, we hopped in the car and made the 200 mile trip to pick them up. We let nan know we were coming and received a torrent of abuse from her saying she's not letting them go etc... So we called the police and requested they meet us there, which they did.

    we get there, police are already waiting, we talk to them for 20 minutes and explain the situation then they go to the house... After the longest 45 minutes of our life they finally come out and tell us that as the kids aren't in danger they won't be intervening, it's a civil matter, and we have to leave now.

    Apparently the kids have said they don't want to go home and that they're scared... They haven't been in school for 4 weeks, nan let's them get away with murder and they're spoilt rotten when they're there... 10 year old me probably wouldn't want to go home either. The fear thing, as there's no actual basis for it, I'm fairly certain is a result of nans manipulative streak...

    Bit of back story, the kids dad (nans son) killed himself about 7 years ago after my partner left him (domestic violence, social told her it was him or the kids so she ran and didn't look back)
    Now the kids have come back from nans before saying things like "nan said it's your fault dad's not here anymore" and various sickening things to the same effect... The only reason my partner has looked past this and let her see them again is because a part of her still believes that herself, she feels guilty and doesn't want to take grandchildren away from someone who's already lost their son. I disagree but I understand.

    With that in mind, I have no doubt that nan's been feeding the kids the idea that mum's angry and they're going to be in trouble when they go home.

    So now here we are, back home without the kids, my partner's an absolute shell of herself and neither of us really know what to do from here... We've called social services and requested a case worker to oversee the situation, and I'm going to call CAB and see what advice they can offer but I thought I should seek the wisdom of the internet aswel...

    Is there any play here that doesn't involve me dropping thousands on solicitors fees? I'll do it but it will be a struggle so I'm open to alternatives.

    Thanks for reading
    Tags: None

  • #2
    I cant help ,but i feel for you both, its a nightmare when others start putting there opinions in kids heads, especially after there been a tragic situation like someone taking there own lives. Getting the social workers involved can be both usfull and a hindrance.

    maybe grief counseling is a better idea, i would definitely recommend that . especially for the kids
    crazy council ( as in local council,NELC ) as a member of the public, i don't get mad, i get even

    Comment


    • #3
      I am not an expert, but your partner may need to look at Child Arrangements Orders and Prohibited Steps Orders under the Children Act 1989.
      Lawyer (solicitor) - retired from practice, now in academia. I do not advise by private message.

      Litigants in Person should download and read this: https://www.judiciary.uk/wp-content/..._in_Person.pdf

      Comment


      • #4
        I am surprised that the police wouldn't have intervened, your partner is their mother and she has parental responsibility, I hope that things have been resolved, I do think that the grandparent has clearly had it rough too with the loss of her son and I suspect this is what is driving her actions. The legal position is that if she has PR they should be with her, I am an ex social worker (sorry to say, I absolutely have no faith at all for various reasons I won't share as they are not relevant to your case!), but I do know that as the children get older their voice is heard more, and if what you are saying is correct, gran might be influencing the children in some way.
        My advice would be to try to negotiate with gran, assuming that what the children are saying now is incorrect, try to get an agreement with the gran, she is clearly believing whatever she wants but if you demonstrate to her that you are only thinking of the children and avoid the 'fight' with her she might begin to realise that she is making decisions that aren't in the childrens interest.
        Also, you can apply to the family court yourself without solicitors, but you have done the right thing to get social services involved as they may well intervene with trying to assist your partner anyway.

        Comment


        • #5
          The police were correct not to intervene. They cannot act as a substitute for the courts. If the children are in immediate danger, then yes, otherwise No

          An application under the Children Act is required.

          Comment

          View our Terms and Conditions

          LegalBeagles Group uses cookies to enhance your browsing experience and to create a secure and effective website. By using this website, you are consenting to such use.To find out more and learn how to manage cookies please read our Cookie and Privacy Policy.

          If you would like to opt in, or out, of receiving news and marketing from LegalBeagles Group Ltd you can amend your settings at any time here.


          If you would like to cancel your registration please Contact Us. We will delete your user details on request, however, any previously posted user content will remain on the site with your username removed and 'Guest' inserted.
          Working...
          X