Fathers rights

[Dan2327]

Hi,

I am looking for aome advice.

I split from my ex a year ago, at the time we had a 7 month old son and she was pregnant with our second.

the babies are now 18 months and 7 months and I just feel like I am and always have been completely at her mercy.

I have always paid her on time and often more than I am meant to.

She only lets me see them on a Saturday for 6 hours and that’s all. I never hear how they are or what they have being doing, which as a dad is hard. I get such a small snapshot of their life and she loves having that power.

I have asked if we can be more mature about it all but in return all I get from her is the same response where she says ‘take me to court if you want more’.
She knows I can’t afford to do that so instead have to accept what ever she offers.
She has had them christened and I wasn’t even made aware until afterwards and now she says she will move from London to Kent with them so I best get used to not seeing them.

Is there anything I can do?

thank you.

[Lola49]

I am not a legal person but you could try mediation, ask your ex if you can see them more often, make some suggestions, like taking them to the park in the week or having them overnight on a Saturday (providing you have room), or taking them over to your family for sunday - to gradually increase the time you spend with your children. If she says no, ask her if she would be prepared to go to mediation with you, this is prior to court and is much cheaper - free if you are on benefits.
If this doesn't work you could also put an application into the court, but if I were you I would be wary because if she is the sort of person you say, she might make it very difficult for you to see them at all. The court application doesn't have to cost much, you don't need to pay a solicitor and the application for a child arrangements order is just over £200 I think - but if you are on a low income you might get this paid - or on benefits you don't have to pay (check this but I am sure its the case). What you need is some good legal advice, see if you can speak to a CAB person or a legal helpline?
If you have family members who can help you liaise with your ex that might be worth trying too. You could ask the court to stop her moving I think but I don't know whether you would be successful in this, it might be that if she is definitely moving you could apply for a child arrangement order to have them for weekends or holidays, if you have room or you could use a family members house for overnight stays? you won't have any choice in having them overnight as it isn't feasible to see them one day a week if she's moving away.
I would try everything prior to making a court application though.

[Peridot]

Hi Dan2327,

So upsetting for you.
I assume you are on the Birth Certificates and therefore have parental responsibility for both children? If that is the case then as someone with PR you are entitled to be consulted on major decisions such as education, religion and where they live. This previous thread may be helpful particularly the link to Gingerbread at post #2 here: http://legalbeagles.info/forums/foru...-advice-needed

One thing I would flag is bearing in mind the age of your children it is maybe a little unrealistic to expect to have them overnight at this stage (depending on how they are feeding of course) Generally the Courts would not expect babies this young to be having overnight stays unless they are purely bottle fed of course then there may be an argument to be had.

I'm afraid it seems things are unlikely to improve unless you have an Order. Although these days parents are expected to attempt mediation in the first instance to try and reach an agreement themselves before applying to the Courts to deal with it. If she refuses to attempt mediation, it does not reflect well on her, although there are circumstances where mediation can be refused and a certificate would be provided to confirm the reason it was unsuccessful.

Try and get yourself some face to face advice from a children law specialist either a free first appointment or reduced fee initial appointment just so you know exactly what your rights and options are if things do not improve.