sexual harassment at work

[megan]

Hi,
Not sure I'm posting this in the right place and am hoping someone can help. I'm a bit sketchy on all the details.
My partner's daughter has been the victim of sexual harassment at her workplace. She is a student who is working part time at a well known store. She has put in an official complaint about her manager harassing her.
Don't know the full details as I think she doesn't want to upset her dad, but it seems it has been quite explicit.
She went to an interview today about the complaint and was scared to see her boss there as she was assured she would not have to see him.
Just need some advice as to what her options are as I get the impression the company is sweeping her complaint under the carpet. Apparently this is not the first complaint against him. Any help will be greatly appreciated, as always.

[wales01man]

Re: sexual harassment at work

If its a criminal offence that has been alleged she should go to the police the store may well side with the manager the police will investigate.

[jon1965]

Re: sexual harassment at work

The problem is that one persons sexual harassment is another persons harmless fun. That , I think , is why too many end up at ET. Indecent assault etc should be reported but without evidence of ongoing inappropriate words etc the case is hard to prove. I hope she has kept some timeline of such things.

Years ago a female manager with large assets used to stand behind me and massage my shoulders...it was a major distraction as she hit my weak spot but it was not in any way sexual harassment

[Eloise01]

Re: sexual harassment at work

The problem is that one persons sexual harassment is another persons harmless fun. That , I think , is why too many end up at ET.

Sexual harassment is defined as repeated and unwanted sexual behaviour towards an individual, as perceieved by the recipient of the conduct. Therefore, if the personn receiving the attention connsiders it "harmless fun" then that is what it is. On the other hand, if they donn't, it is not "harmless fun". The fact that people who commit sexual harassment (or any other form of harassement) may consider it "harmless fun" is not relevant - and that is why allegations end up at employment tribunals. If there are "too many" such claims, then that indicates that there are a lot of peope who need to review their conduct towards others, and what "harmless fun" really is.

OP, it is difficult to advise without knowing exactly what has been happeneing here, but the crux of any form of bullying / harassment allegation is that the alleged victim cannot expect anything to be resolved without ever having to see or talk to the person they are accusing. This simply isn't a practical position.

In the first instance, sexual harassment is both repeated and unwanted bahaviour, as I explained above. That means that the alleged victim needs to make it clear that the behaviour is unwanted. Whilst I do not agree with jon1965 that behaviour based on physical attributes, whether that is gender, or race, or any other characteristic is ever "harmless fun", it is the nature of the species that people react differently to such matters. So this young woman needs to have said that this behaviour is unacceptable to her and that she expects it to stop. At some point, in some way, this must happen. I recognise that this may be difficult, especially for a younger woman who may be less confident, but it is something that everyone needs to learn to do - whether male or female, people need to be able to be assertive in the workplace; and for women it is an essential skill. There is really only one way to learn it, and that is to do it. The fact is that it is not something that just happens to young and pretty girls - sexual harassment is a form of bullying, it is insidious and nasty, and should no more be tolerated by anyone than any other form of bullying.

That said, like other forms of bullying, there is inevitably a question of evidencing what has happened. THis means keeping a diary or record of incidents, detailing what has happened and witnesses to incidents. This is not, per se, evidence of a direct nature, but it is sometimes the best you can do.

It's impossible really to say a lot more since there are few details, and there is little point in speculating about what the meeting for about or what it was for, or what happened - without details we do not know what optios she has used and what options remain.

[wales01man]

Re: sexual harassment at work

Eloise
When does sexual harrassment become a criminal offence?

[megan]

Re: sexual harassment at work

Thanks Eloise, My "stepdaughter" is a confident young lady, not the type to run away from things, she has told the guy in no uncertain terms that she finds his behaviour totally unacceptable and wanted it to stop. It didn't which is why she put in a complaint. The company was supposed to change his/her shifts so they weren't on duty at the same time but this didn't happen. I understand that it is difficult to substantiate claims but I would have thought if they already have a file with other complaints against him the company would have some kind of duty of care towards her. I know she feels so uncomfortable working with him she is considering leaving her job even though she really needs the money. My first thought was to tell him to get stuffed or I would contact his wife (he's married with children) but I also think he shouldn't get away with it, the next young girl might not be as strong as she is and this has really shook her confidence.

[jon1965]

Re: sexual harassment at work

Megan, So she has done the first step which is to tell him to stop. What she must do is log every incident and if possible include the name of a witness. I do not think that threatening to tell his wife is the right thing as that in itself could be called blackmail.

Eloise, maybe I misled you, it was not having her Boobs in my back that was my weak spot it was having my shoulders massaged.

[CleverClogs]

Re: sexual harassment at work

When does sexual harrassment become a criminal offence?

After the wench says "No!"?

[Inca]

Re: sexual harassment at work

After the wench says "No!"?

A swift kick in his nether regions,followed by a punch in the gob before visiting his wife would be my solution,,but none of that is legal (mores the pity)

[Eloise01]

Re: sexual harassment at work

I hadn't actually thought it through that far Jon. And wish I could get the image out of my head now!

Megan:

A file stuffed with complaints isn't evidence because you can't get in that file! These are confodential. Nothing to do with her - and there is nothing to say that any of these complaints were true or that they were upheld. You cannnot assume guilt based on rumour and gossip - or you can, but I can't, and the law won't! As I said, and I agre with Jon - she wants detailed accounts of every incident. She can go "backwards" if she can recall sufficient details as a start, then log all new incidents.

If there are multiple complainants there is strength in numbers - everyone record incidents, everyone say it is not acceptable... act as a group. And while we are on the subject - join a union now and stay in it for life (or if not, transfer from one to another, never let your membership lapse because you will forget to rejoin!). There are certain "benefits" to hitting bad problems early in your working life - such as realising that work is not always fun or a bundle of laughs, life isn't fair, and you need someone to back you up if and when things go wrong.

She needs to look at her own behaviour - and by that I do not mean she is to blame for any of this. You say that she is confident. My answer is "not confident enough". There is a difference between confidence and assertiveness - and harassment undermines confidence anyway, so the chances are that the person you see isn't the one he sees. I was entirely fortunate in being virtually brought up down at the local Miners Welfare - that teaches you both by the age of three. By the age of five a single glare could pin a six foot miner to the ground! The likelihood is that she shows fear or some other reaction. That is part of his "fun" - if there were no reaction at all, or if the reaction was such that it scared him, he'd pack it in quick enough. Each time there is an incident, she needs to take out her diary and pen. Calmly write down everything. If she can summon up the courage, ask him to clarify something - "Did you say that I looked like a pregnant tw-it, or was it tw-at?", or even something as innocuous as "Do you have the time on you, as I need to make a note of it". She needs to be very transparaent about the fact that she is making records of everything. And on each occasion she says that the behavious is unacceptable and she wants him to stop, and that his behaviour will be reported.

Of course, the quicker method is to step up close to him, smiling sweetly, and whisper in his ear that if he doesn't pack it in she is going to take hold of the family jewels, twist them right up through his throat, and when she has done that hang him from the ceiling by them. But it takes practice to carry the right level of menace!

[Eloise01]

Re: sexual harassment at work

Eloise
When does sexual harrassment become a criminal offence?

It depends on what legislation it might fall under - harassment, stalking, assault, etc are all criminal offences. But the reality is that if the level of harassment has got the the level where it would qualify as a criminal offence, then it is far more serious than what usually goes on in the workplace. The level of evidence for a criminal offence, and the severity of what qualifies, tends to mean that criminal law is seldom helpful in these matters in the work environment.

[CleverClogs]

Re: sexual harassment at work

I was entirely fortunate in being virtually brought up down at the local Miners Welfare...

She was only a coal miner's daughter, but ... (link) :rofl:

[Eloise01]

Re: sexual harassment at work

She was only a coal miner's daughter, but ... (link) :rofl:

Nope - Branch President's duaghter!

[megan]

Re: sexual harassment at work

It's a pity we can't just cut and paste our experiences and how we dealt with them into the heads of the younger ones to help them deal with their problems. Anyway, her mum and brother are traveling to see her today, not sure what they will advise her to do. Would be a shame if they agreed with her to leave as the company has been pretty good to her up 'till now. Working at their store in Wales while at Uni and working at the local store at home when she is on summer break. Tried to explain to her dad that this is part of life (as wrong as it is) and she needs to deal with it for herself, I had to in the dim and distant past when it was considered par for the course, that didn't go down too well, she's still his little girl!! I don't know what support she has had from her university, would have thought they would have advisers on hand she could go to.

[Eloise01]

Re: sexual harassment at work

The National UNion of Students should have access to resources like any other union - although the majority are tailored to studying, they certainly used to have employment advisers etc in my day (which was a long time ago). Yes, dad will probably never see it. Although all parents are protective of their children, even when they grow up, men and particularly so of their daughters - and he probably wouldn't appreciate being told that this stems from the same cultural values that makes sexual harassment and discrimination still very much prevalent on the workplace. Very little has changed in that respect, it is just that many workplaces and people have got better at hiding it.