Breach of confidentiality and lack of upper management support

[apw74]

Re: Breach of confidentiality and lack of upper management support

Thanks for your response Eloise, an interesting view. I completely understand that everyone has a right to a hearing etc and the outcome isn't really the issue.

The support is based around that a decision was made, OK I didn't agree but I accept it for it is, but where was the support, so are action plans in place for the employee's return, what steps must I take to ensure the employee isn't made to feel uneasy, that type of support, remember I wasn't told at the time what was contained in the initial grievance against me. There was a complete breakdown of communication all along which really led to the stresses build up etc.

Fortunately my employer does have an open door policy so the confidence and trust issues should have been handled more carefully, not to say my manager couldn't be told I understand, but as I say when he did find out the way he did, I was subjected to verbal abuse over the phone for 30 minutes, I would have felt the same way don't get me wrong but to sit there and be sworn and shouted at 30 minutes certainly was part of the cause as to why I was signed off for a week. If I have made out that it is the decision that is the issue then I apologise it's more the support after it that. it was like OK there's the decision not to dismiss now go away. As I work remotely and have little contact with my main employer when I reached out I expected support not to say I can't handle it on my own, but if I do then I expected to be supported if that's what they want. So to me it was like we're not supporting you to do the right thing and, when you do something we're not supporting on the that either.

[Eloise01]

Re: Breach of confidentiality and lack of upper management support

What you are describing may not be "ideal", whatever that means - but it is hardly uncommon and it isn't unlawful. I have gone back over your original posts and I cannot find any reference to to the fact that you were shouted at for 30 minutes by your manager, or that this caused you to have a week off work sick. That is certainly not the bahaviour I would expect from a manager, but unless you can prove it this becomes just more of the "he said, she said" sort of thing where one person is claiming one thing and the other denying it.

To be honest, I really do think that there is an issue of unreal expectations about this. You were given advice in relation to the formal processes that you needed to undertake - you do seem to think that "support" consists of backing you up and taking your word for things, and it does not. This is one of the "penalties" of being a manager - your interpretations and decisions are subject to scrutiny and if you suspend or discipline someone, regardless of whether you think you have, or definitely have, good cause, then if that person complains those decisions will be scrutinised. And in doing that you should not expect your manager(s) to do anything other than consider the situation fairly and impartially.

You may not see it this way, but you sat talking to HR and questioned your managers professional ability - you told them you didn't think your manager was able to "assess the situation". Quite apart from the fact that it was unwise to trust HR, you were criticising your manager and effectively saying that you don't think they are competant! Now that may or may not be true, but it isn't the most sensible thing to do, and looking at this impartially I can quite see where your manager has got the impression that you have been "gossiping" about them. You say that "mud sticks" in relation to what has been said about you - what about the "mud" you have been perceived to be slinging about your managers abilities? Maybe your manager feels the same way about that mud?

You were not entitled to be told what was in the initial grievance against you by the employee - quite the reverse, because there is a strong argument that you should not have been told. If you are told the details of a grievance against you then that permits you enough information to get to any witnesses and intimidate them, to "lose" evidence, and so on. To conduct an impartial investigation it is actually better that you not be told. And that is actually common practice. We see enough complaints from employees here about management colluding to cover up serious complaints - and the complaint against you was very serious in that you were accused of racism - and management bullying of people who submit grievances. Your employer has, on the face of it, acted exactly in accordance with the law and good pracice, and it is this you are complaining about! So again, you have misunderstood what would be considered good practice and seen it as failure to communicate when in fact it is good management practice.

And you say that you got no support - what support did you ask for? Did you say that you would like help in formulating action plans because you did not feel you had the skills to do this? Did you ask for help in managing the return to work? You are a manager - there is a certain level of expectation that you will possess management skills. If you lacked confidence or skills to manage this situation, did you say this and ask for help? Because if you did not, you are effectively asking them to mindread what additional support you needed. And none of that gets around the fact that long before the employee returned to work you were seen to be criticising your own managers management skills! So perhaps a little "schoolboyish" as a response, but if your manager felt that you considered your own management skills so vastly superior to theirs that you could criticise them, perhaps they weren't entirely motivated to be volunteering any of their own experience to you. Like I said, perhaps a bit childish, but also, perhaps, slightly understandable!

I think you have dug a hole. Maybe it wasn't 100% of your own doing, but being utterly honest and impartial, I think a lot of it was although I can see why you dug it. I think you had some very unrealistic expectations of what would happen and how things should be handled, and you made some unwise decisions. Understandable perhaps, but unrealistic and unwise nonetheless. Now you have a choice of sitting in the hole and smarting about it, or digging yourself back out. Your manager has strongly suggested to you that you dig yourself back out. It would seem a sensible recommendation, because they have made it clear what the alternative is, albeit perhaps not quite so bluntly - if you don't dig yourself back out then your career is going nowhere and if you want it to then you need to find another job.

[apw74]

Re: Breach of confidentiality and lack of upper management support

Hi Eloise, I took your advice fully. A meeting was held in its place a mediation type meeitng if you will. This did help a little from my point of view. I will admit that it seems my employer had decided to use the comments of my conduct (this was mentioned several times) as a way of saying the grievance wouldn't have gone anywhere. I am not that daft to read between the lines.

So it was suggested that it's now left and a line drawn under it if you will, and my current manager and I start to build a relationship and move on. Thanks for helping me 'keep it real' and see sense. I have struggled to do so, as it the entire situation that got to me big style and I am still on medication for anxiety and depression but hopefully now things will quieten down. To be honest I just hope my employer follows their own 'draw a line under it' option and does not pursue me for my conduct (paranoia on behalf may be).

But thanks, a long way off feeling better myself but hopefully this will die down and we can all move on. If not I'll be back asking more advice.

[Eloise01]

Re: Breach of confidentiality and lack of upper management support

That sounds like a positive and productive start. It is often much harder to climb down than to continue to beat your head against a brick wall, so I am sure that your employer will give some credit for this. Hopefully it will now move forward and you can regain your confidence and your health. So good luck

[bluebottle]

Re: Breach of confidentiality and lack of upper management support

Just as an aside, I have both worked for others and been self-employed in the past. I have to say that I was happiest and more successful when self-employed. Whether it is coincidence or just plain bad luck, but when I worked for others, there was a definite culture of bullying and anyone who spoke out about it to management was branded a troublemaker. However, what I did notice is that where there was a culture of bullying, the organisation was generally, badly-run. Failing to pay important bills on time or at all was commonplace and misleading customers and the local authority also took place. Those were the least serious shortcomings. The more serious shortcomings included failing to heed health and safety warnings with regard to poisonous gases associated with rechargeable batteries and power cells.

[Eloise01]

Re: Breach of confidentiality and lack of upper management support

I think most people are happier self-employed (albeit it isn't practicable for everyone to be!). But it does have it's down side and isn't for everyone - when self-employed, the long hours, the risks, and the lack of paid holidays are all your own fault!