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I've worked in the kitchen of a hospice for two and a half years. Within the first couple of weeks or so I said to the services manager, also kitchen manager though not working in the kitchen, that I was surprised they weren't working best practice, considering the vulnerability of the patients. He seemed to think they were, I disagreed as I had been trained in best practice by a thoroughly conscientious home manager with catering background. I pointed out a couple of things and he asked if I could raise the standard (it wasn't exactly a cesspit, but considering it was a hospice kitchen...), I said, even after that short time there, that I would like to but it would not work given the staff. It was only one other person, but it was clear how she was with kitchen matters.
Over time, I brought some things to his attention, not fussy things that I liked the way of or anything like that, just practical things that should or should not be done, not even as Best practice, just basic.
Nothing improved and I wasn't told about him ever speaking with her, perhaps occasionally that I don't recall. The situation between these two is a bit odd, I think she managed to work her way into his head, as the tail definitely seems to be wagging the dog. She is doing less and less of kitchen assistant tasks, but she has a way about her of making friends and ingratiating herself with people. Things came to a head earlier this week, being at the negative end of their behaviour and her attitude toward me and efforts to maintain a good kitchen and I left the kitchen, went up to HR (lol) and let them know a few home truths about her and our manager. My manager, as nice a man as you could want to meet, is ineffectual but can't see it. We had words, further upsetting me, especially his lack of management is the cause of the longrunning problem.
Unfortunately, despite telling him I no longer wanted to discuss work matters without somebody from HR present, he had to speak with me yesterday, which he found to be a mistake. Yet again, his mismanagement. Why should I be expected to be walked over all the time and my colleague carry on her merry way, effectively controlling the kitchen with her passive agressive ways? I would also add, professional victim.
Regretfully, bless him, the dodo that he is, he made a couple of comments. His arguments are not particularly rational, he's almost simpleminded or childish with them, adding to my frustration that has been something I've had to tolerate for a long time. He claims he's not friends in any way with this woman, yet he has a bizarre determination to defend her, even by putting me down in front of her, despite what I've told him. I've never complained about her in any way, simply reported the ways she does things, which includes not following his sandwich filling recipes, for example. What's going on?!
So, I decided to walk out, the CEO talked to me and I decided to stay, even though this morning I realised I'd never been taken seriously or respected, which caused me to be really upset rather than extremely frustrated. He said we could catch up later in the afternoon, which I did. I now feel like I've been played somehow. He's not reached the level of CEO by chance! We agreed, after I told him a few more things, that I'd come to work in the morning (tomorrow, Friday). He had already spoken with my colleague, who must have played her part well, as he said, she 's so small, she must have been frightened when you raised your voice (she said she was scared by it). If I had a hundred eyes in my head, they would have all rolled.
At about 17.30, HR left me a message suggesting, after discussion with CEO, for my benefit and in no way reflecting on me, that I could take tomorrow off, paid, to feel better, etc. This was after my work hours and after I had confirmed with CEO that I would be coming in. Unfortunately, I replied, I feel this was a mistake. I said there was nothing wrong with me, that tomorrow was my last day before the weekend and I would come in. Her reply was that she had since spoken with CEO and was in agreement, that I should take tomorrow of paid, to rest, that they wanted me to have the chance to feel better.
I'm afraid I got a bit shirty nad asked if that meant the hospice was saying their mismanagement of a situation that could have been resolved quickly and easily for all concerned (i.e. way back) had resulted in a detrimental effect on my health nd that was why they were forcing me out of the kitchen tomorrow?
Her reply was that they were not forcing me out but that they are concerned about my welfare after a stressful week (week, lol) and that I should enjoy the extra day off and have a long weekend before returning to work next week.
Of course, I had to reply with the question, does that mean there'd be repercussions if I accepted this when in fact the reason/fault was not mine, and that could it be made so that others who were the source of the situation could be told not to come into work? I asked who would be working with the (new) Head Chef tomorrow, since if I wasn't in, he'd be on his own, unless of course, my problematic colleague was asked to fill in. Can you imagine if they didn't realise how that would look or how I would feel?
Apart from silly responses, I feel my main mistake was replying after hours. Can I still claim that as they didn't tell me they didn't want me to come in during my work hours, I can still go to work as normal? Or can they create a problem for me if I do go in because I had replied to their messages after hours?
This was the whatsapp message from my boss at eightish:
Hi Susan ,
Can you please check you messages and email from work please
You must have received email to read
Thank you
After clarifying what he meant (she first rang and left a message, then we started texting after I replied by text as I didn't want to speak to her)he replied:
You should have receive an email from HR regarding tomorrow, to stay home and have so peaceful rest
I then replied:
Completely different lol - yes, Lisa texted me, I told her that although I appreciated the offer, it was the last day of the week and I was off all week-end. So, you will be seeing me tomorrow
He replied (at least he was straightforward and honest):
Susan, tomorrow you are not working
Enjoy your 3 days off.
This is not optional
My next replies were:
I already spoke with Mark about it and confirmed with him that I would be in tomorrow.
Final message, which I can't reply to, is that I should rest at home tomorrow. Who is helping Ian tomorrow?
As we agreed during working hours that I would come in tomorrow, I will. Does the hospice have a legal team?
I will make a note that I was contact by work after hours, not I them, and that I was not able to respond.
IF I am not considered fit to work tomorrow, after all I've been through this past couple of years, there'll be no point in coming in on Monday. I expect that is what Mark is working towards, he's not a CEO by chance.
Over time, I brought some things to his attention, not fussy things that I liked the way of or anything like that, just practical things that should or should not be done, not even as Best practice, just basic.
Nothing improved and I wasn't told about him ever speaking with her, perhaps occasionally that I don't recall. The situation between these two is a bit odd, I think she managed to work her way into his head, as the tail definitely seems to be wagging the dog. She is doing less and less of kitchen assistant tasks, but she has a way about her of making friends and ingratiating herself with people. Things came to a head earlier this week, being at the negative end of their behaviour and her attitude toward me and efforts to maintain a good kitchen and I left the kitchen, went up to HR (lol) and let them know a few home truths about her and our manager. My manager, as nice a man as you could want to meet, is ineffectual but can't see it. We had words, further upsetting me, especially his lack of management is the cause of the longrunning problem.
Unfortunately, despite telling him I no longer wanted to discuss work matters without somebody from HR present, he had to speak with me yesterday, which he found to be a mistake. Yet again, his mismanagement. Why should I be expected to be walked over all the time and my colleague carry on her merry way, effectively controlling the kitchen with her passive agressive ways? I would also add, professional victim.
Regretfully, bless him, the dodo that he is, he made a couple of comments. His arguments are not particularly rational, he's almost simpleminded or childish with them, adding to my frustration that has been something I've had to tolerate for a long time. He claims he's not friends in any way with this woman, yet he has a bizarre determination to defend her, even by putting me down in front of her, despite what I've told him. I've never complained about her in any way, simply reported the ways she does things, which includes not following his sandwich filling recipes, for example. What's going on?!
So, I decided to walk out, the CEO talked to me and I decided to stay, even though this morning I realised I'd never been taken seriously or respected, which caused me to be really upset rather than extremely frustrated. He said we could catch up later in the afternoon, which I did. I now feel like I've been played somehow. He's not reached the level of CEO by chance! We agreed, after I told him a few more things, that I'd come to work in the morning (tomorrow, Friday). He had already spoken with my colleague, who must have played her part well, as he said, she 's so small, she must have been frightened when you raised your voice (she said she was scared by it). If I had a hundred eyes in my head, they would have all rolled.
At about 17.30, HR left me a message suggesting, after discussion with CEO, for my benefit and in no way reflecting on me, that I could take tomorrow off, paid, to feel better, etc. This was after my work hours and after I had confirmed with CEO that I would be coming in. Unfortunately, I replied, I feel this was a mistake. I said there was nothing wrong with me, that tomorrow was my last day before the weekend and I would come in. Her reply was that she had since spoken with CEO and was in agreement, that I should take tomorrow of paid, to rest, that they wanted me to have the chance to feel better.
I'm afraid I got a bit shirty nad asked if that meant the hospice was saying their mismanagement of a situation that could have been resolved quickly and easily for all concerned (i.e. way back) had resulted in a detrimental effect on my health nd that was why they were forcing me out of the kitchen tomorrow?
Her reply was that they were not forcing me out but that they are concerned about my welfare after a stressful week (week, lol) and that I should enjoy the extra day off and have a long weekend before returning to work next week.
Of course, I had to reply with the question, does that mean there'd be repercussions if I accepted this when in fact the reason/fault was not mine, and that could it be made so that others who were the source of the situation could be told not to come into work? I asked who would be working with the (new) Head Chef tomorrow, since if I wasn't in, he'd be on his own, unless of course, my problematic colleague was asked to fill in. Can you imagine if they didn't realise how that would look or how I would feel?
Apart from silly responses, I feel my main mistake was replying after hours. Can I still claim that as they didn't tell me they didn't want me to come in during my work hours, I can still go to work as normal? Or can they create a problem for me if I do go in because I had replied to their messages after hours?
This was the whatsapp message from my boss at eightish:
Hi Susan ,
Can you please check you messages and email from work please
You must have received email to read
Thank you
After clarifying what he meant (she first rang and left a message, then we started texting after I replied by text as I didn't want to speak to her)he replied:
You should have receive an email from HR regarding tomorrow, to stay home and have so peaceful rest
I then replied:
Completely different lol - yes, Lisa texted me, I told her that although I appreciated the offer, it was the last day of the week and I was off all week-end. So, you will be seeing me tomorrow
He replied (at least he was straightforward and honest):
Susan, tomorrow you are not working
Enjoy your 3 days off.
This is not optional
My next replies were:
I already spoke with Mark about it and confirmed with him that I would be in tomorrow.
Final message, which I can't reply to, is that I should rest at home tomorrow. Who is helping Ian tomorrow?
As we agreed during working hours that I would come in tomorrow, I will. Does the hospice have a legal team?
I will make a note that I was contact by work after hours, not I them, and that I was not able to respond.
IF I am not considered fit to work tomorrow, after all I've been through this past couple of years, there'll be no point in coming in on Monday. I expect that is what Mark is working towards, he's not a CEO by chance.
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