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Grievance and threatening behaviour at work
I have worked as an IT specialist for a family run firm for 12.5 years. The business is owned by two brothers, one the finance director and the other the Md. the MD’s daughter and son both work there and the FD’s son also runs the sales team.
In February 2020 I was approached by the managing director 5 minutes prior to a big sales meeting to be told that they have struggled with my attitude, that there is going to be a huge change because people cannot bare to deal with me and a middle man was required. I had designed and ran the company website alone for the previous 10 years up until this point, had been an exemplary employee with no formal chats or disciplinary action on my perfect employment record, but had needed to be opinionated about my niche which had never been hated as they had now stated.
I was basically told that this was make or break for me and if I didn’t like it then I would be out. I was petrified and desperately upset by this news and was then thrust into a sales meeting where I had to compose myself and carry on. I discussed the appointment with my newly appointed line manager and he was in agreement with me that this was handled awfully and told me to trust in him to mend the relationships that I had no idea had even broken that badly! I was shell shocked and didn’t feel like I could complain. Now I realise that by continuing to work I effectively accepted the change but I most definitely did not and have never got over it
covid 19 then struck and I was sent home to work and without the negativity of the office I found my working conditions better and was able to focus without feeling so hurt on solitude. The next awful incident took place when the entire company was told that salaries would be deducted to 80% to protect losses during the pandemic. When the first payroll was performed in April 2020 following the first month of lockdown I was emailed and told that my pay would be reduced by 10% and not the 20% as detailed before, I was happy with that and didn’t question it at all.
in may 2020 I attended the office for one day to help with social distancing plans and risk assessments at work, during my visit I spoke with a colleague who innocently told me that some of his friends had experienced deductions in their pay despite working so we were lucky to still be paid full money. After asking two more colleagues discreetly I established that no one at work had deducted pay so I emailed to question the terms of my deduction, leaving out how I had come to question it but that I had not agreed it or had reduced duties so wanted to clarify the reason for it. They promptly responded saying that I was quite right. That the last 2 months unlawful deducted pay would be backdated in the next pay and that if I had any more PROBLEMS then I could call them. It was a victory but again I was already being mistreated so expected more backlash for having the cheek to question it!
the demotion, the feeling of being hated and the constant anxiety and emotional breakdowns of mine were eating away at me, I have saved and documented more than 10 occasions where I have approached my new line manager with insecurities, feeling vulnerable, hated and worthless in the last two years. One WhatsApp message I sent in January stated that I wasn’t coping, and if he were to force me Into the office I would quit. I was genuinely at breaking point then and was hardly getting out of bed at weekends but hadn’t seen a doctor as was to ashamed as I have a daughter to care for and have failed.
my line manager responded with a list of things to be positive about, reminding me that I have a beautiful daughter and basically denying or playing down my breakdown. Nothing formally was documented and I again was forced to get on with it for fear of rocking the boat and being singled out again.
I have literally seen emails flag up in the bottom right hand side of my screen from the family members and My heart has jumped into my throat, I constantly question what I need to say, how I say it and how to avoid disagreeing with anyone or worse, being perceived as sucking up to them by agreeing!!! I haven’t been able to mend opinions, my new line manager has shielded me from praise really but I think taken credit for my work, undermined and underestimated me at several points - all of which I could now be accused of accepting as it is historic.
In April my line manager had a discussion with me about going for an inflated bonus for me this year (paid end of April normally) because I had gone to them with a brand new website plan in an effort to cut out developers and save them in excess of £20k by doing it myself. A month before the bonus was due and covid was still keeping staff on furlough within the company, and yet, when the payroll came around in April, no bonus was received at all. I had a meeting with him that day and asked about the status of the bonus, to which he replied “what bonus?” - I questioned the fact he had spoken with me some 3-4 weeks earlier about not only the normal
bonus but an inflated one! He said that the sales had taken a hit on the last three months, so the bonuses were on hold to protect the 11m turnover companies assets!!!! How upsetting and awful for payroll to just be ran without the thought to communicate this too! Heartbreaking!
I hit rock bottom and on the 19th may I wrote an email to my line manager laying out the historic instances, the fact I was continuing to work hard, take on new projects and yet I still felt unappreciated, disliked and that my mental health has been affected and is still being affected by how I have been treated. After looking at forums, knowing how awful ex employees have been treated for raising complaints I felt that an email explaining that I was broken, could no longer carry on in the role but didn’t feel that it was fair to resign after 12.5 years and how is been treated.... I wanted to make steps and agreeing an exit from the business for me. I wanted a mutual separation.
following this email, I was requested to attend an informal and without prejudice meeting the following Monday. The FD and myself attended and it was awful. I cannot mention what was said but it didn’t end well. I went back to my desk and fought tears all afternoon and somehow got through, not having a clue what to do.
the next day, without warning, without the mention of informal chats, not without prejudice and never denied to be referred to. The FD took the opportunity to rip me apart, told me I was crazy, asked if were ever medicated, told me I would never receive a penny more than my notice of 3 months and that he would fold the company before that ever happened! Said that I would have probably already felt a frosty response but that if I felt hated before I had no idea what was coming to me... that he would make it his mission to find something to discipline me over and worst of all, I was lucky he hasn’t reached over the table to thump me! He told me that my mention of mental health was a strategic and manipulative attempt to commit extortion and that he didn’t believe or care that I had ever been upset! He said how dare I think I can ever bring such an email to them. They didn’t deserve this and that I had disappointed everyone at the company! Nothing I would ever do would undo the damage caused and I was hated.
Following this meeting I was sent home, this was a Tuesday and I was asked to come back for a follow up the following Tuesday after the bank holiday, he then sent me a very concerned and professional email that afternoon where he offered a hr counselling service, stated he was very concerned about my well being and that he wanted to support me. He referred to my email on the 19th and my mental health raised issue and also stated that this was discussed during the meeting that day (Tuesday 25th may).
on Thursday 27th may, I filed a formal grievance outlining all the comments made to me during the meeting and even prepared within the letter for him refusing my ability to refer to it as it was NOT informal and without prejudice and - most importantly, he had referred to discussions from this meeting in his polite and concerned email to me so I felt I had the right to also refer to it and set the record straight about the aggression and conduct of it.
I receive a reply Saturday 29th may which stated that the meeting was informal and couldn’t be used! My right to a grievance was therefore denied.
I chased three times for an update on a grievance hearing, and since my supposed return to work on the 1st June, I had called my doctor and been signed off with work related stress for two weeks
my grievance was finally officially acknowledged on 10th June by the Mds son. A hearing was scheduled for 15th June. I have since extended my sick leave and am signed off until 24th June.
on the 9th June, I met with a colleague and friend from work for personal purposes! Nothing to do with work and I have deliberately withheld discussions about the situation as she still had to work there. When she returned to the office after our lunch she was approached by my line manager and told that she should probably not see me whilst I’m not working and there is a lot going on. The following day, the Fds son approached her and told her I had made enemies at the company and she should stay away from me if she did not want to have them too! My friend told me and I added this conduct and harassment to my grievance.
The hearing was so emotional and I felt very much alone, the questions were detailed but statements were read about my obstructive nature, run ins with management in the past and my perfect appraisals. I think it went well and I gave up the girls name for witness of the recent threat but worried they would retaliate - I called her after and told her that he would contact her. She wasn’t happy but the behaviour was so bad that she knew she would have to tell the truth.
She then experienced silences, huffing and puffing and awful atmosphere for a couple of days but has told me that she gave a true account. I emailed my line manger following a tearful call with her and told him that retaliation was cruel and that I felt threatened and upset by the comments but that she had done nothing wrong.
I am waiting for my grievance to be responded too this was promised and expected by yesterday but is still not
done. I have been bombarded with emails yesterday and today to elaborate on my claims of harassment and not feeling safe to return to work. 6 days have passed since I made that claim to him and he is now quoting duty of care and concern for me, but also setting five questions to clarify why I am upset for 3 different extracts within my previous emails. He has stated that my accusations are very serious and he needs to know what I meant! I am constantly being asked to justify why I feel victimized when I have clearly documented all this in a subject access request sent 1st June, my grievance that is still outstanding and the formal complaint about my having enemies.... i still feel victimized and despite his emails sounding professional and through, the tone is awful and I am not sure the onus should always be on me to justify and prove?
I am at rock bottom, I have been told that a solicitor would try to negotiate a settlement for me but it would cost £2250+vat upfront and then 29% of what is awarded. I haven’t got that kind of money and am not sure what way to turn.
obviously I am still have the grievance to come back and the abusive emails that I know exist about me, but I suspect a clean up has occurred here too!! There are constant delays, I don’t want to be off sick anymore but am so scared to resign if a case for constructive dismissal is destined to fail. I also don’t know how to start a harassment claim or if I have enough? I am so lost and have no impartial support from work and no finances to put towards legal support this deserves.
there is more but I’ve written too much already. Please help, anyone?
In February 2020 I was approached by the managing director 5 minutes prior to a big sales meeting to be told that they have struggled with my attitude, that there is going to be a huge change because people cannot bare to deal with me and a middle man was required. I had designed and ran the company website alone for the previous 10 years up until this point, had been an exemplary employee with no formal chats or disciplinary action on my perfect employment record, but had needed to be opinionated about my niche which had never been hated as they had now stated.
I was basically told that this was make or break for me and if I didn’t like it then I would be out. I was petrified and desperately upset by this news and was then thrust into a sales meeting where I had to compose myself and carry on. I discussed the appointment with my newly appointed line manager and he was in agreement with me that this was handled awfully and told me to trust in him to mend the relationships that I had no idea had even broken that badly! I was shell shocked and didn’t feel like I could complain. Now I realise that by continuing to work I effectively accepted the change but I most definitely did not and have never got over it
covid 19 then struck and I was sent home to work and without the negativity of the office I found my working conditions better and was able to focus without feeling so hurt on solitude. The next awful incident took place when the entire company was told that salaries would be deducted to 80% to protect losses during the pandemic. When the first payroll was performed in April 2020 following the first month of lockdown I was emailed and told that my pay would be reduced by 10% and not the 20% as detailed before, I was happy with that and didn’t question it at all.
in may 2020 I attended the office for one day to help with social distancing plans and risk assessments at work, during my visit I spoke with a colleague who innocently told me that some of his friends had experienced deductions in their pay despite working so we were lucky to still be paid full money. After asking two more colleagues discreetly I established that no one at work had deducted pay so I emailed to question the terms of my deduction, leaving out how I had come to question it but that I had not agreed it or had reduced duties so wanted to clarify the reason for it. They promptly responded saying that I was quite right. That the last 2 months unlawful deducted pay would be backdated in the next pay and that if I had any more PROBLEMS then I could call them. It was a victory but again I was already being mistreated so expected more backlash for having the cheek to question it!
the demotion, the feeling of being hated and the constant anxiety and emotional breakdowns of mine were eating away at me, I have saved and documented more than 10 occasions where I have approached my new line manager with insecurities, feeling vulnerable, hated and worthless in the last two years. One WhatsApp message I sent in January stated that I wasn’t coping, and if he were to force me Into the office I would quit. I was genuinely at breaking point then and was hardly getting out of bed at weekends but hadn’t seen a doctor as was to ashamed as I have a daughter to care for and have failed.
my line manager responded with a list of things to be positive about, reminding me that I have a beautiful daughter and basically denying or playing down my breakdown. Nothing formally was documented and I again was forced to get on with it for fear of rocking the boat and being singled out again.
I have literally seen emails flag up in the bottom right hand side of my screen from the family members and My heart has jumped into my throat, I constantly question what I need to say, how I say it and how to avoid disagreeing with anyone or worse, being perceived as sucking up to them by agreeing!!! I haven’t been able to mend opinions, my new line manager has shielded me from praise really but I think taken credit for my work, undermined and underestimated me at several points - all of which I could now be accused of accepting as it is historic.
In April my line manager had a discussion with me about going for an inflated bonus for me this year (paid end of April normally) because I had gone to them with a brand new website plan in an effort to cut out developers and save them in excess of £20k by doing it myself. A month before the bonus was due and covid was still keeping staff on furlough within the company, and yet, when the payroll came around in April, no bonus was received at all. I had a meeting with him that day and asked about the status of the bonus, to which he replied “what bonus?” - I questioned the fact he had spoken with me some 3-4 weeks earlier about not only the normal
bonus but an inflated one! He said that the sales had taken a hit on the last three months, so the bonuses were on hold to protect the 11m turnover companies assets!!!! How upsetting and awful for payroll to just be ran without the thought to communicate this too! Heartbreaking!
I hit rock bottom and on the 19th may I wrote an email to my line manager laying out the historic instances, the fact I was continuing to work hard, take on new projects and yet I still felt unappreciated, disliked and that my mental health has been affected and is still being affected by how I have been treated. After looking at forums, knowing how awful ex employees have been treated for raising complaints I felt that an email explaining that I was broken, could no longer carry on in the role but didn’t feel that it was fair to resign after 12.5 years and how is been treated.... I wanted to make steps and agreeing an exit from the business for me. I wanted a mutual separation.
following this email, I was requested to attend an informal and without prejudice meeting the following Monday. The FD and myself attended and it was awful. I cannot mention what was said but it didn’t end well. I went back to my desk and fought tears all afternoon and somehow got through, not having a clue what to do.
the next day, without warning, without the mention of informal chats, not without prejudice and never denied to be referred to. The FD took the opportunity to rip me apart, told me I was crazy, asked if were ever medicated, told me I would never receive a penny more than my notice of 3 months and that he would fold the company before that ever happened! Said that I would have probably already felt a frosty response but that if I felt hated before I had no idea what was coming to me... that he would make it his mission to find something to discipline me over and worst of all, I was lucky he hasn’t reached over the table to thump me! He told me that my mention of mental health was a strategic and manipulative attempt to commit extortion and that he didn’t believe or care that I had ever been upset! He said how dare I think I can ever bring such an email to them. They didn’t deserve this and that I had disappointed everyone at the company! Nothing I would ever do would undo the damage caused and I was hated.
Following this meeting I was sent home, this was a Tuesday and I was asked to come back for a follow up the following Tuesday after the bank holiday, he then sent me a very concerned and professional email that afternoon where he offered a hr counselling service, stated he was very concerned about my well being and that he wanted to support me. He referred to my email on the 19th and my mental health raised issue and also stated that this was discussed during the meeting that day (Tuesday 25th may).
on Thursday 27th may, I filed a formal grievance outlining all the comments made to me during the meeting and even prepared within the letter for him refusing my ability to refer to it as it was NOT informal and without prejudice and - most importantly, he had referred to discussions from this meeting in his polite and concerned email to me so I felt I had the right to also refer to it and set the record straight about the aggression and conduct of it.
I receive a reply Saturday 29th may which stated that the meeting was informal and couldn’t be used! My right to a grievance was therefore denied.
I chased three times for an update on a grievance hearing, and since my supposed return to work on the 1st June, I had called my doctor and been signed off with work related stress for two weeks
my grievance was finally officially acknowledged on 10th June by the Mds son. A hearing was scheduled for 15th June. I have since extended my sick leave and am signed off until 24th June.
on the 9th June, I met with a colleague and friend from work for personal purposes! Nothing to do with work and I have deliberately withheld discussions about the situation as she still had to work there. When she returned to the office after our lunch she was approached by my line manager and told that she should probably not see me whilst I’m not working and there is a lot going on. The following day, the Fds son approached her and told her I had made enemies at the company and she should stay away from me if she did not want to have them too! My friend told me and I added this conduct and harassment to my grievance.
The hearing was so emotional and I felt very much alone, the questions were detailed but statements were read about my obstructive nature, run ins with management in the past and my perfect appraisals. I think it went well and I gave up the girls name for witness of the recent threat but worried they would retaliate - I called her after and told her that he would contact her. She wasn’t happy but the behaviour was so bad that she knew she would have to tell the truth.
She then experienced silences, huffing and puffing and awful atmosphere for a couple of days but has told me that she gave a true account. I emailed my line manger following a tearful call with her and told him that retaliation was cruel and that I felt threatened and upset by the comments but that she had done nothing wrong.
I am waiting for my grievance to be responded too this was promised and expected by yesterday but is still not
done. I have been bombarded with emails yesterday and today to elaborate on my claims of harassment and not feeling safe to return to work. 6 days have passed since I made that claim to him and he is now quoting duty of care and concern for me, but also setting five questions to clarify why I am upset for 3 different extracts within my previous emails. He has stated that my accusations are very serious and he needs to know what I meant! I am constantly being asked to justify why I feel victimized when I have clearly documented all this in a subject access request sent 1st June, my grievance that is still outstanding and the formal complaint about my having enemies.... i still feel victimized and despite his emails sounding professional and through, the tone is awful and I am not sure the onus should always be on me to justify and prove?
I am at rock bottom, I have been told that a solicitor would try to negotiate a settlement for me but it would cost £2250+vat upfront and then 29% of what is awarded. I haven’t got that kind of money and am not sure what way to turn.
obviously I am still have the grievance to come back and the abusive emails that I know exist about me, but I suspect a clean up has occurred here too!! There are constant delays, I don’t want to be off sick anymore but am so scared to resign if a case for constructive dismissal is destined to fail. I also don’t know how to start a harassment claim or if I have enough? I am so lost and have no impartial support from work and no finances to put towards legal support this deserves.
there is more but I’ve written too much already. Please help, anyone?
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