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Hi,
I am a male, sole owner of a small gymnastics club, predominantly for primary school age girls (coached by predominantly older girls or late teenagers). A sixteen year old (female) coach (who had worked with us for around maybe 20 hours in total) used the word "d**k" in front of some 9 year old children, trying to be funny. Later, when i spoke to the coach, she said that they were having a game where you "name things that you can and can't eat". The eating part, seemed to take it into the realm of something sexual. In retrospect it was noticeable that this young lady was loved by the other children because she was treated like 'one of us' with the children (As in, the children just saw her as a big kid like them). She is a Ukrainian former high level Rhythmic gymnast who moved over here in the years just after Putin occupied Crimea. When i spoke to her about what she said, she blatantly lied about not saying that word. I said to her that it was just important i know what happened (so if a parent mentions it i will know how to respond) and she wasn't going to get in trouble. It was a total cover up. She first said she said "duck" and then said she said "brick". She couldn't explain why she had changed her story and what Brick had to do with something you could eat. I then asked to speak to her mum. Shockingly, without speaking to her daughter first, she just denied it was said and then said that her daughter would not say that. I told her the conflicting things her daughter had said and said that there were a few girls that heard it, but she doubled down. Making a joke about eating "d**k" to children so young did seem a bit odd (and we can all be guilty of the occasional comedy faux pas), but the lengths that they went to to cover it all up seemed extremely strange.
In the few minutes i had been questioning her daughter she decided to calmly inform me that she will not be continuing working for me, as though she thought that would absolve her of responsibility of having to answer questions. In hindsight i sense that they had secretly harboured thoughts that i should be grateful that someone as elite as her was at a 'tin pot' gymnastics club such as ours. Whatever they thought, she seemed perhaps unaware that by saying that sort of thing, amongst being questioned, just made her seem more suspicious. The mum, when i spoke to her, continued in a similar vein as her daughter; that she would be leaving (note - Clearly we would not have someone back who would say such things and cover them up). I got off the phone to her and considered my options, but the likely outcome would be i would just do nothing, because the main issues was 'the cover up', was just over the phone and obviously not recorded (which would just mean it would be my word against hers). I thought it was best that i just leave it there with them thinking i was still looking into things and that i might have reported it to someone somewhere to log, and hopefully they (as a pair) would think about their actions going forward. This is a young girl who i was made aware planned to continue to work in this field as a coach as a long term aim.
Other troubling things that the mum did were:
*She was very quick to attack back (even if my aim wasn't to attack) and immediately started looking for holes in how i'd handled things. She was asking why i had taken so many days to start a conversation.
*Despite the conversation not getting particularly heated or any voices being raised, the mother (in return for me saying that i would have to escalate this) said she would call the police. I had to inform her that this wasn't anything like a matter you'd call the police over.
*She said that her daughter could not say such things because she "doesn't hang around with the wrong crowd" and that she "intensively parents (her) daughter". As soon as she said it, i thought to myself that it was a strange thing to say about a 16 year old girl. She had also made other comments to me previously about how her daughter is starting to rebel against her (which i didn't think too much of at the time).
A week passed with no contact and then and the mum pro-actively wrote me an email with some lopsided version of events, which i just instantly dismissed in a minimal, yet well consideref, reply. The mother then wrote another email trying to be as litigous as she could (obviously trying to worry me), which i didn't think too much of (and didn't plan on responding to). Then a few hours later i received another email which seemed much more calm and reasonable. I didn't know why she had suddenly calmed down. Then last week i saw a review on Glassdoor. In the few hours between those two final emails she had gone onto Glassdoor and written an 'anonymous' review. That was the reason she had become more calm and written back to me. There was no real reason for a follow up email hours later. The main reason appeared to be just to let me know she was now writing in a calm way. At the time when i first read it i sense that, but didn't think much of it because these issues were not that important to me. The review called me a "idiot" but more importantly included the accusations of "abuse" and "harassment", alongside saying "no Christamas presents". Obviously no christmas presents would be a bit of a moot point if i was truly abusive or harassing anyone. I am not sure how "abuse" and "harassment" would come across if you were a manager of say McDonalds and someone wrote this about you, but in my line of work, where the ambiguous term of "abuse" is used it more aligns with connotations of being a sexual predator than anything else it feels particularly harmful. The mum would know this as a former 'Rhythmic gymnastics judge' herself. In case anyone who is reading this isn't aware, the most famous case of abuse in gymnastics is that with USA Gymnastics where they had significant recent issues with sexual abuse (so much so that there is a netflix documentary about it). British Gymnastics have also had serious isssues with mental abuse of children. Other than the term "abuse", to claim i have harassed someone when there was only one phone call to discuss the subject was ridiculous. In the email where she proactively wrote to me (after the phone call), she did not mention anything about abuse or harassment and actually thanked me at the end of her last email (amongst saying her daughters conduct would "stand up to any scrutiny" etc). To write something so harmful online whilst writing a polite email at pretty much the same time demonstrates that she has some serious issues. Perhaps she used a fake account with Glassdoor and used a VPN and all that stuff, but if i was to guess i would say it is less likely than likely. As far as i understand Glassdoor will hand information over to police and lawyers if requested.
She denied (in writing) that her daughter said that word, yet there are a few children whose parents would testify their children heard that if i asked them to come forward (if that were necessary). I am well respected at my classes and i know that those parents would do the right thing to help me. My question is though, can this not be classified as 'malicious communication' (given that it was intentionally put online to be as malicious as possible) and something to call the police over? Glassdoor are being a little slow to either take the review down, or say they will pass on details if the matter becomes a criminal casse. I have actually wasted a three days of a school half term thinking (or speaking to others) about this, and even had a dream about this lady (some kind of mild nightmare). She is obviously a troubled lady (and perhaps deluding herself to how troubled she is) and that is passing down to her daughter through her "intensive parenting". It seems the right thing to do to take her up on this. I get the impression (and this is just my opinion of course) that she is somewhat living vicariously through her daughter, who acts more like a 10 year old in most ways than a 16 year old (and this is more to do with their family than the major problems that would come from leaving a war torn country). All things considered, i actually feel a bit sorry for the daughter, even though she was very quick to say she was quitting when questioned. I get the impression that i have walked into a bit of a mine field here, but i've always been one to do the right thing whatever, whether it is something personal to me or not. So, is this something that should go to the police with as malicious communications? I doubt any no win no fee solicitor would be interested in defamation when i am so small (as a business) and they probably have little money to pay if they were to lose. Any advice would be appreciated.
I am a male, sole owner of a small gymnastics club, predominantly for primary school age girls (coached by predominantly older girls or late teenagers). A sixteen year old (female) coach (who had worked with us for around maybe 20 hours in total) used the word "d**k" in front of some 9 year old children, trying to be funny. Later, when i spoke to the coach, she said that they were having a game where you "name things that you can and can't eat". The eating part, seemed to take it into the realm of something sexual. In retrospect it was noticeable that this young lady was loved by the other children because she was treated like 'one of us' with the children (As in, the children just saw her as a big kid like them). She is a Ukrainian former high level Rhythmic gymnast who moved over here in the years just after Putin occupied Crimea. When i spoke to her about what she said, she blatantly lied about not saying that word. I said to her that it was just important i know what happened (so if a parent mentions it i will know how to respond) and she wasn't going to get in trouble. It was a total cover up. She first said she said "duck" and then said she said "brick". She couldn't explain why she had changed her story and what Brick had to do with something you could eat. I then asked to speak to her mum. Shockingly, without speaking to her daughter first, she just denied it was said and then said that her daughter would not say that. I told her the conflicting things her daughter had said and said that there were a few girls that heard it, but she doubled down. Making a joke about eating "d**k" to children so young did seem a bit odd (and we can all be guilty of the occasional comedy faux pas), but the lengths that they went to to cover it all up seemed extremely strange.
In the few minutes i had been questioning her daughter she decided to calmly inform me that she will not be continuing working for me, as though she thought that would absolve her of responsibility of having to answer questions. In hindsight i sense that they had secretly harboured thoughts that i should be grateful that someone as elite as her was at a 'tin pot' gymnastics club such as ours. Whatever they thought, she seemed perhaps unaware that by saying that sort of thing, amongst being questioned, just made her seem more suspicious. The mum, when i spoke to her, continued in a similar vein as her daughter; that she would be leaving (note - Clearly we would not have someone back who would say such things and cover them up). I got off the phone to her and considered my options, but the likely outcome would be i would just do nothing, because the main issues was 'the cover up', was just over the phone and obviously not recorded (which would just mean it would be my word against hers). I thought it was best that i just leave it there with them thinking i was still looking into things and that i might have reported it to someone somewhere to log, and hopefully they (as a pair) would think about their actions going forward. This is a young girl who i was made aware planned to continue to work in this field as a coach as a long term aim.
Other troubling things that the mum did were:
*She was very quick to attack back (even if my aim wasn't to attack) and immediately started looking for holes in how i'd handled things. She was asking why i had taken so many days to start a conversation.
*Despite the conversation not getting particularly heated or any voices being raised, the mother (in return for me saying that i would have to escalate this) said she would call the police. I had to inform her that this wasn't anything like a matter you'd call the police over.
*She said that her daughter could not say such things because she "doesn't hang around with the wrong crowd" and that she "intensively parents (her) daughter". As soon as she said it, i thought to myself that it was a strange thing to say about a 16 year old girl. She had also made other comments to me previously about how her daughter is starting to rebel against her (which i didn't think too much of at the time).
A week passed with no contact and then and the mum pro-actively wrote me an email with some lopsided version of events, which i just instantly dismissed in a minimal, yet well consideref, reply. The mother then wrote another email trying to be as litigous as she could (obviously trying to worry me), which i didn't think too much of (and didn't plan on responding to). Then a few hours later i received another email which seemed much more calm and reasonable. I didn't know why she had suddenly calmed down. Then last week i saw a review on Glassdoor. In the few hours between those two final emails she had gone onto Glassdoor and written an 'anonymous' review. That was the reason she had become more calm and written back to me. There was no real reason for a follow up email hours later. The main reason appeared to be just to let me know she was now writing in a calm way. At the time when i first read it i sense that, but didn't think much of it because these issues were not that important to me. The review called me a "idiot" but more importantly included the accusations of "abuse" and "harassment", alongside saying "no Christamas presents". Obviously no christmas presents would be a bit of a moot point if i was truly abusive or harassing anyone. I am not sure how "abuse" and "harassment" would come across if you were a manager of say McDonalds and someone wrote this about you, but in my line of work, where the ambiguous term of "abuse" is used it more aligns with connotations of being a sexual predator than anything else it feels particularly harmful. The mum would know this as a former 'Rhythmic gymnastics judge' herself. In case anyone who is reading this isn't aware, the most famous case of abuse in gymnastics is that with USA Gymnastics where they had significant recent issues with sexual abuse (so much so that there is a netflix documentary about it). British Gymnastics have also had serious isssues with mental abuse of children. Other than the term "abuse", to claim i have harassed someone when there was only one phone call to discuss the subject was ridiculous. In the email where she proactively wrote to me (after the phone call), she did not mention anything about abuse or harassment and actually thanked me at the end of her last email (amongst saying her daughters conduct would "stand up to any scrutiny" etc). To write something so harmful online whilst writing a polite email at pretty much the same time demonstrates that she has some serious issues. Perhaps she used a fake account with Glassdoor and used a VPN and all that stuff, but if i was to guess i would say it is less likely than likely. As far as i understand Glassdoor will hand information over to police and lawyers if requested.
She denied (in writing) that her daughter said that word, yet there are a few children whose parents would testify their children heard that if i asked them to come forward (if that were necessary). I am well respected at my classes and i know that those parents would do the right thing to help me. My question is though, can this not be classified as 'malicious communication' (given that it was intentionally put online to be as malicious as possible) and something to call the police over? Glassdoor are being a little slow to either take the review down, or say they will pass on details if the matter becomes a criminal casse. I have actually wasted a three days of a school half term thinking (or speaking to others) about this, and even had a dream about this lady (some kind of mild nightmare). She is obviously a troubled lady (and perhaps deluding herself to how troubled she is) and that is passing down to her daughter through her "intensive parenting". It seems the right thing to do to take her up on this. I get the impression (and this is just my opinion of course) that she is somewhat living vicariously through her daughter, who acts more like a 10 year old in most ways than a 16 year old (and this is more to do with their family than the major problems that would come from leaving a war torn country). All things considered, i actually feel a bit sorry for the daughter, even though she was very quick to say she was quitting when questioned. I get the impression that i have walked into a bit of a mine field here, but i've always been one to do the right thing whatever, whether it is something personal to me or not. So, is this something that should go to the police with as malicious communications? I doubt any no win no fee solicitor would be interested in defamation when i am so small (as a business) and they probably have little money to pay if they were to lose. Any advice would be appreciated.