Tweet
I am hoping there might be someone in the legal profession here that can offer me some advice.
I separated from my ex 2.5 years ago. I am Australian, and he very quickly had a court order put against me to stop me leaving the family home or country with our children, stating I was a flight risk. This was ridiculous - if I was going to take off with the kids I wouldn't have even told him I wanted a divorce. I knew what he was like and I knew I was in for hell. After he hacked my emails and tracked my whereabouts I contacted the police. There are two police reports against him and they urged me to press charges but I was terrified of what he'd do if I did. I didn't withdraw the reports, but I also didn't press charges. During my police interviews, it came out that he non consensually raped me for most of our 14 year relationship. They wanted to cart him off but I was terrified of the consequences and begged them not to. I don't think I did myself any favours by giving into my fear. It all came out in court and he said I wanted it, and I had no right of reply. It was devastating and I very much feel like my children and I have been let down by the system.
Long story short, he won. I lost everything fighting his millionaire family's legal team and found myself with the choice of homelessness or returning to live with my parents in Australia. Covid hit, and I haven't been able to see my children since.
The court order stated that I am to have the children in australia with me for 4 weeks of their summer holidays every year and every second Christmas. We have to agree dates by February.
The international border where I live opens at 1am tomorrow. He is demanding I provide him with proof of address by the end of February or we do not have an agreement and he will not hand over the children. He has to come to Australia to collect the kids. I'm terrified of him, and I'm scared he will show up at my home. I have offered to ensure the courts and his lawyer have my address, and against my better judgement I eventually agreed I'd give him my address but not until the day I collect the kids. He refused and once again demanded proof of my residential address before the end of February or no agreement and I will not see my kids.
There is nothing in the court order that says I have to disclose my address to him at any point, and neutral handover points were allocated by the court. The one in Australia is very deliberately 4 hours away from my home.
I have provided addresses in the past when I knew I was there short term and there was no chance of him showing up, but I own my current home and I'm here for the long term as I continue to try to rebuild my life and my relationship with my children. He never sent me anything from the children (despite them showing me things via Facetime that they have made for me, and also telling me Daddy refused to send them), so I know it's not for that.
I can't afford legal representation, but this man continues to attempt to alienate me at every turn. I still have full parental rights, but he deliberately leaves me out of everything (like selecting our eldest child's high school - I had zero say and I wasn't even aware he had already chosen and completed the enrolment until I asked to be included). I have had to battle to get information from school but I seem to be finally developing a decent relationship with them again.
I only have my children's best interests at heart. I want them to be happy, safe and have access to both of their parents.
My understanding is that I have no legal obligation to provide my address and that if he refuses to honour the court agreement then he is breaking the law. However, given that he won't even make the agreement in the first place, I have no idea what course of action I can take.
I'm to the point I'd happily let him screw himself over here, but I don't know what my next steps are. Please can someone offer me some advice? I'm scared, I'm newly pregnant with my new (and very loving and supportive partner) and this stress, fear and anxiety is really taking its toll on my health.
Please, please help me.
I separated from my ex 2.5 years ago. I am Australian, and he very quickly had a court order put against me to stop me leaving the family home or country with our children, stating I was a flight risk. This was ridiculous - if I was going to take off with the kids I wouldn't have even told him I wanted a divorce. I knew what he was like and I knew I was in for hell. After he hacked my emails and tracked my whereabouts I contacted the police. There are two police reports against him and they urged me to press charges but I was terrified of what he'd do if I did. I didn't withdraw the reports, but I also didn't press charges. During my police interviews, it came out that he non consensually raped me for most of our 14 year relationship. They wanted to cart him off but I was terrified of the consequences and begged them not to. I don't think I did myself any favours by giving into my fear. It all came out in court and he said I wanted it, and I had no right of reply. It was devastating and I very much feel like my children and I have been let down by the system.
Long story short, he won. I lost everything fighting his millionaire family's legal team and found myself with the choice of homelessness or returning to live with my parents in Australia. Covid hit, and I haven't been able to see my children since.
The court order stated that I am to have the children in australia with me for 4 weeks of their summer holidays every year and every second Christmas. We have to agree dates by February.
The international border where I live opens at 1am tomorrow. He is demanding I provide him with proof of address by the end of February or we do not have an agreement and he will not hand over the children. He has to come to Australia to collect the kids. I'm terrified of him, and I'm scared he will show up at my home. I have offered to ensure the courts and his lawyer have my address, and against my better judgement I eventually agreed I'd give him my address but not until the day I collect the kids. He refused and once again demanded proof of my residential address before the end of February or no agreement and I will not see my kids.
There is nothing in the court order that says I have to disclose my address to him at any point, and neutral handover points were allocated by the court. The one in Australia is very deliberately 4 hours away from my home.
I have provided addresses in the past when I knew I was there short term and there was no chance of him showing up, but I own my current home and I'm here for the long term as I continue to try to rebuild my life and my relationship with my children. He never sent me anything from the children (despite them showing me things via Facetime that they have made for me, and also telling me Daddy refused to send them), so I know it's not for that.
I can't afford legal representation, but this man continues to attempt to alienate me at every turn. I still have full parental rights, but he deliberately leaves me out of everything (like selecting our eldest child's high school - I had zero say and I wasn't even aware he had already chosen and completed the enrolment until I asked to be included). I have had to battle to get information from school but I seem to be finally developing a decent relationship with them again.
I only have my children's best interests at heart. I want them to be happy, safe and have access to both of their parents.
My understanding is that I have no legal obligation to provide my address and that if he refuses to honour the court agreement then he is breaking the law. However, given that he won't even make the agreement in the first place, I have no idea what course of action I can take.
I'm to the point I'd happily let him screw himself over here, but I don't know what my next steps are. Please can someone offer me some advice? I'm scared, I'm newly pregnant with my new (and very loving and supportive partner) and this stress, fear and anxiety is really taking its toll on my health.
Please, please help me.
