Urgent advise needed

[Guest]

I need some urgent advise, I’m currently fighting my children dad in court an incident happened in September 2019 whilst I was residing with my sister at her property which left me without a property for two weeks I asked my kids dad who had recently returned back to the country after a year working abroad, we have been split up three years this September, I trusted him to have my kids for two weeks on the reassurance he would give my girls back once I got a property which I did in the two weeks I promised to which he informed me he was keeping my two girls of 8/10 and that I would have to go court to get them back as I’m apparently violent towards my one daughter who is 10 years old she has run along with her dad saying I hit her it’s gone from me apparently strangling her to me constantly beating her around the head, I took him court to find out I needed a mediator which my baby father refused to attend so the mediator signed it off I went court and they got cafcass involved I myself suffer from ptsd anxiety and depression since we lost out son aged 4 in 2012 and sometimes when things happen I react with my emotions of upset and passion coming across as aggressive which I am not as a person anddi went off at the wrong people including the court official cafcass officer which has not looked good for me they decided to stop my access to the children no over night stays once a weekend on a Saturday 10-4 supervised access only I made the effort for four months to get to where my kids are a hour and a half away with no attempt by there dad to help out even though i don’t drive and every time I have endured nothing but sabotage from my kids dad always been in he background of phone calls and when I wild get the kids try to get me to react all the time, when we went back to court the cafcass officer tried to put me down to once a f/n visits for a hour a time which the court over ruled and left me to my weekend supervised visits but to take it in turns to get and bring the kids whist the case was passed to social workers my daughter has insisted to the them still that I hit her but my other daughter has had nothing against her. The kids dad has broke the court order over and over by trying to get me arrested even though I was assulted by his dad the kids grandad, were due back in court and the social worker has left her team I can’t get legal representation please help what I can do I’ve been going mental health on off for past 7 years and I’m waiting to go on a course their has been no end of lies about me and I’m panicking*