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After getting in a flap over a DCA I have decided (with advice from trusty LB) to chill out so here is my guide in 6 easy steps
Step 1
Shoot the Postman (not his fault but he does insist on delivering letters)
Step 2
Dont answer the phone to anyone (that way you wont get wound up)
Step 3
Make sure your normal placid boxer dog who is a real wet blanket and soft as s*** is not fed for a week (making him much more aggressive towards debt collectors calling at your door)
Step 4
Fill your garden with rubbish and spray paint your car with graffiti just to prove your not worth bothering with (sorry to anyone who normally lives like this)
Step 5
On finding a DCA have tried to stitch you up with false documents pay them a personal visit accompanied by too burly bodyguards
Stating you are part of a new government department set up to deal with low life scum and persuade them to agree a payment plan so they can pay you back at an amount they can afford for all the aggravation caused
Step 6
On finding you have a regular amount of money coming in due to the above comments book a holiday stop fretting and chill
Step 1
Shoot the Postman (not his fault but he does insist on delivering letters)
Step 2
Dont answer the phone to anyone (that way you wont get wound up)
Step 3
Make sure your normal placid boxer dog who is a real wet blanket and soft as s*** is not fed for a week (making him much more aggressive towards debt collectors calling at your door)
Step 4
Fill your garden with rubbish and spray paint your car with graffiti just to prove your not worth bothering with (sorry to anyone who normally lives like this)
Step 5
On finding a DCA have tried to stitch you up with false documents pay them a personal visit accompanied by too burly bodyguards
Stating you are part of a new government department set up to deal with low life scum and persuade them to agree a payment plan so they can pay you back at an amount they can afford for all the aggravation caused
Step 6
On finding you have a regular amount of money coming in due to the above comments book a holiday stop fretting and chill
