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BankMart
Supplying the banking industry
NEW!
At last! An end to penalty charge claimant misery!
With
'COMPLAIN a WAY'
No bigger than the size of an average office photocopier
this latest break-through in banking customer service
technology developed in Somalia sits neatly on the
counter top. When the next customer comes in
complaining of his £3000 in penalty charges for going
12 pence overdrawn, simply switch on 'COMPLAIN a WAY'
and your account holder is subjected to listening to vast
extracts from the banking code at a deafening 1200
decibels - thats louder than the space shuttle at take off!
Guarenteed to force the complainant out the door
in under 20 seconds. Includes bankers safety ear-phones
that plays the 1933 classic 'We're in the money'.
----------------------------------------
NEW!
Tired of settling out of court?
Introducing
Stat-O-Scamer
Developed by the worlds leading stationary scientists in Latvia,
you simply use this essential piece of banking kit to print your
customers copy statements on. At first glance the statement
looks completely normal but due to the 'JUDGE SENSITIVE' tm
technology embeded in the paper, as soon as a member of the
judiciary holds it - HEY PRESTO! -all the penalty charges turn
in to credits! Result? The judge throws the case out of court,
deems the claimant a vexacious litigant and awards the
bank costs!
*Now available in contract terms & conditions*
Supplying the banking industry
NEW!
At last! An end to penalty charge claimant misery!
With
'COMPLAIN a WAY'
No bigger than the size of an average office photocopier
this latest break-through in banking customer service
technology developed in Somalia sits neatly on the
counter top. When the next customer comes in
complaining of his £3000 in penalty charges for going
12 pence overdrawn, simply switch on 'COMPLAIN a WAY'
and your account holder is subjected to listening to vast
extracts from the banking code at a deafening 1200
decibels - thats louder than the space shuttle at take off!
Guarenteed to force the complainant out the door
in under 20 seconds. Includes bankers safety ear-phones
that plays the 1933 classic 'We're in the money'.
----------------------------------------
NEW!
Tired of settling out of court?
Introducing
Stat-O-Scamer
Developed by the worlds leading stationary scientists in Latvia,
you simply use this essential piece of banking kit to print your
customers copy statements on. At first glance the statement
looks completely normal but due to the 'JUDGE SENSITIVE' tm
technology embeded in the paper, as soon as a member of the
judiciary holds it - HEY PRESTO! -all the penalty charges turn
in to credits! Result? The judge throws the case out of court,
deems the claimant a vexacious litigant and awards the
bank costs!
*Now available in contract terms & conditions*
