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I am hoping someone can help before I start this process as I am very unsure what to do after some google searches.
I have been separated from my children's father since Feb 2018. I have been on benefits since then and have some little work that I do from home. 2 of my children are special needs (aged 11 and 5) and I have a 2-year-old. I have been unable to find a full-time job in the UK due to not being able to get childcare for all 3 children as the new rule only provides childcare for 2. The jobs I know I am qualified for I am not getting and the jobs I am being offered make no financial sense. I am still looking....
My ex said he only wants to have the children every other weekend for 1 night, but he will have them for 2 nights if I drop them to him. He has helped some holidays and financial support has been inconsistent. For example, he paid nothing from March 2020 until March 2021. He said it's because he was not working, however, he had savings and still chose not to help when he saw the children going without.
I did get 2 great job offers here in the UK that allowed me to work from home (so no childcare) but I lost one of them when my ex failed to attend my home to pick up the children because 'something' came up. It becomes difficult to keep a job when you can not show up consistently due to childcare.
1 job was a night shift but I got burned out as I was working at nights and still had to be up to look after the children. I had to leave it.
If at any time I have had a financial shortage and I asked him for more money (i.e. last year pre-pandemic, my son had a trip we had to pay for and I asked for more money to pay for his trip) he deducted the additional fee from the next maintenance payment which put me back into a shortfall.
So now I had received 2 very lucrative job offers overseas. Enough to pay for consistent child support for all children so that I can work consistently and I have a support network which I do not have here. I'll also have access to facilities that can support my children's special needs. I am also not at the mercy of him supporting me financially. I asked for his permission to work overseas and take the children and he said no.
I had to turn them down because I would not be able to get his consent and move with the kids in time.
He said that I could leave the children here but I could not have them back if I left as they are not shoes which seem unfair. I am literally going because he is not supporting me with physical childcare consistently or financially. I had mentioned that when I came back, I wouldn't expect to yank them out of school but try and be closer to them so their education is not affected.
If he has them every other week for 1 night, that's 26 night a year. I can make sure that he has them for the summer holidays which is about 40 days if he is worried about access and he can zoom/skype with them regularly.
I am being told I am being very selfish and as he has money for a lawyer and I do not, he said I would regret this if we went to court so now I am concerned I do not actually have a case.
Does anyone have any advice?
I have been separated from my children's father since Feb 2018. I have been on benefits since then and have some little work that I do from home. 2 of my children are special needs (aged 11 and 5) and I have a 2-year-old. I have been unable to find a full-time job in the UK due to not being able to get childcare for all 3 children as the new rule only provides childcare for 2. The jobs I know I am qualified for I am not getting and the jobs I am being offered make no financial sense. I am still looking....
My ex said he only wants to have the children every other weekend for 1 night, but he will have them for 2 nights if I drop them to him. He has helped some holidays and financial support has been inconsistent. For example, he paid nothing from March 2020 until March 2021. He said it's because he was not working, however, he had savings and still chose not to help when he saw the children going without.
I did get 2 great job offers here in the UK that allowed me to work from home (so no childcare) but I lost one of them when my ex failed to attend my home to pick up the children because 'something' came up. It becomes difficult to keep a job when you can not show up consistently due to childcare.
1 job was a night shift but I got burned out as I was working at nights and still had to be up to look after the children. I had to leave it.
If at any time I have had a financial shortage and I asked him for more money (i.e. last year pre-pandemic, my son had a trip we had to pay for and I asked for more money to pay for his trip) he deducted the additional fee from the next maintenance payment which put me back into a shortfall.
So now I had received 2 very lucrative job offers overseas. Enough to pay for consistent child support for all children so that I can work consistently and I have a support network which I do not have here. I'll also have access to facilities that can support my children's special needs. I am also not at the mercy of him supporting me financially. I asked for his permission to work overseas and take the children and he said no.
I had to turn them down because I would not be able to get his consent and move with the kids in time.
He said that I could leave the children here but I could not have them back if I left as they are not shoes which seem unfair. I am literally going because he is not supporting me with physical childcare consistently or financially. I had mentioned that when I came back, I wouldn't expect to yank them out of school but try and be closer to them so their education is not affected.
If he has them every other week for 1 night, that's 26 night a year. I can make sure that he has them for the summer holidays which is about 40 days if he is worried about access and he can zoom/skype with them regularly.
I am being told I am being very selfish and as he has money for a lawyer and I do not, he said I would regret this if we went to court so now I am concerned I do not actually have a case.
Does anyone have any advice?
