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Brother emotionally manipulating mother for money

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  • Brother emotionally manipulating mother for money

    Hi everyone,

    My nan (Dad's mum) has been ill in hospital for a few months. We were told to prepare for the worst a couple of weeks ago, but she's since made a remarkable recovery.

    While she's been in hospital my Dad's brother has been keeping hold of her bank cards. He has not been to see her in hospital since she became ill and rarely rings.

    We recently found out that he'd taken £2,800 in cash from my nan's safe. My dad found out that it was gone and my uncle said he said he was looking after this money while she was in hospital. He's now denying that he took it and says he does not know what happened to it.

    My Dad recently went round to my brother's to pick up one of my nan's bank cards so he could pay some bills that had come to the house. At this point he also found out that he'd emptied her post office account too. His reasoning for this was to pay his son's carer allowance.

    My Dad explained to my nan what my uncle had done and has been keeping the bank card safe for the last couple of weeks. At first, my nan agreed to this. However, my uncle and his son have since been putting pressure on her to make my dad give the bank card back.

    The situation is making my dad extremely stressed and upset. He doesn't want to make my nan any more upset and ill by denying her wishes, but also giving my uncle the bank card will inevitably lead to him plundering the account, leaving her with no money if she needs care in the future. My nan just wants everyone to be friends and thinks that by giving my uncle the bank card this will happen (whatever the consequences may be for her finances) she's mentally sound, but being put under emotional pressure to give my uncle the card, as his living situation is not secure (however, we have no reason to believe that he's been using the money he's already taken to secure his living siutation - this money is now gone and he's given no explanation)

    My dad has my nan's best interests at heart, but refusing to give the bank card to my uncle will make her upset and my uncle's son has even threatened violence against my dad if he doesn't get it.

    What's would be the best way forward here? How can we protect her and her finances when she's mentally sound but being put under pressure by family?


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  • #2
    Hi and welcome
    A very sad situation.
    This is probably an instance of coercive emotional abuse.

    Whilst it is difficult to deal with within the family (for all sorts of reasons) I would advise you seek help from a third party.
    Organisations like AgeUK and Action on elder Abuse may be able to assist, but if not it may be reported to the police on 101 as it is a criminal act
    cf The Serious Crime Act 2015 (sec 76 &77)

    Comment


    • #3
      Originally posted by des8 View Post
      Hi and welcome
      A very sad situation.
      This is probably an instance of coercive emotional abuse.

      Whilst it is difficult to deal with within the family (for all sorts of reasons) I would advise you seek help from a third party.
      Organisations like AgeUK and Action on elder Abuse may be able to assist, but if not it may be reported to the police on 101 as it is a criminal act
      cf The Serious Crime Act 2015 (sec 76 &77)
      Thank you. I thought it would be a difficult one but will get in contact with action on elder abuse tomorrow.

      Comment

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