Need some advice- evil step mum threatening to take us to court

[enquirer]

Re: Need some advice- evil step mum threatening to take us to court

She went into the marriage penniless and we have known all along she was just after his money- however he is completely under the thumb [..] we found out she had been hitting him and was frightened of her but no amount of talking to him will get him to chuck her out. He didn't cope well when he lost his wife and was a lost sole having never cooked a meal in his life before so she saw his vunerability and took her chance.

Don't you think we've tried all that- she has control of his mobile, never leaves his side ...

I know of an absolutely identical situation.

[enquirer]

Re: Need some advice- evil step mum threatening to take us to court

... he gave us the money to pay if off £14000.

The money was transferred to the son, so the question is proof - whether loan or gift. In the absence of paperwork, and in the prevailing circumstances, a gift would probably be assumed.

From whose account was the money transferred? Father only, or their joint account? If the fathers account, then she has no business making such demands unless she can show authorisation to act on his behalf.

Make sure that they understand that they will both be required to attend court and undergo cross examination, during the course of which all their dirty laundry will be aired.

This came from her to my husband- even though it was his dad that lent him it and the car is in my name -if we didn't repay the matter would go to court.

Careful - you said 'lent'.

In the meantime, write (no telephone calls or emails), denying the claim and setting out the simple facts. Remember - always write a letter on the assumption that a judge who knows nothing will be reading it later.

[labman]

Re: Need some advice- evil step mum threatening to take us to court

The money was transferred to the son, so the question is proof - whether loan or gift. In the absence of paperwork, and in the prevailing circumstances, a gift would probably be assumed.

It would be interesting to know where you discovered this, it's certainly not my understanding of what would happen.

I believe it would go to court, and it would be for the court to decide. I very much doubt anything would be assumed.

[CleverClogs]

Re: Need some advice- evil step mum threatening to take us to court

Make sure that they understand that they will both be required to attend court and undergo cross examination, during the course of which all their dirty laundry will be aired.

Including, presumably, descriptions or other evidence of her violence against her husband?

[enquirer]

Re: Need some advice- evil step mum threatening to take us to court

It would be interesting to know where you discovered this, it's certainly not my understanding of what would happen. I believe it would go to court, and it would be for the court to decide. I very much doubt anything would be assumed.

I don't mean an 'assumption' in the legal sense - a state of affairs that prevails automatically. Just a general 'probability that it was so'.

If it did go to court, it would as you say, require to demonstrated. Given that it is the MIL making the claim, it will be for her to prove that it was a loan.

[labman]

Re: Need some advice- evil step mum threatening to take us to court

I don't mean an 'assumption' in the legal sense - a state of affairs that prevails automatically. Just a general 'probability that it was so'.

If it did go to court, it would as you say, require to demonstrated. Given that it is the MIL making the claim, it will be for her to prove that it was a loan.

.... and for the OP to prove it wasn't through their defence?

[CleverClogs]

Re: Need some advice- evil step mum threatening to take us to court

How easy is it to "prove a negative"?

If the transfer of money (however conducted) had genuinely been meant as a loan, there should surely have been some note, letter or chit to that effect. One would also expect it to make some sort of sense, which it really does not at present.

Who is presently providing the aged and hen-pecked father with a free taxi service?

[labman]

Re: Need some advice- evil step mum threatening to take us to court

How easy is it to "prove a negative"?

Very! I can prove the lights in my house are not currently switched on; I can prove I didn't withdraw £200 from my bank account this morning.

[CleverClogs]

Re: Need some advice- evil step mum threatening to take us to court

But can you prove that you don't sleepwalk whilst wearing a woman's frock? :rofl:

[labman]

Re: Need some advice- evil step mum threatening to take us to court

Erm.............. Ssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! :grin::grin::grin:

[Eloise01]

Re: Need some advice- evil step mum threatening to take us to court

I agree that without specific evidence of this being a loan, it may be very difficult to evidence that it was not a gift. Perhaps, on a general point, a wise reminder that if your are loaning someone money, especially a large amount, that you have some form of loan agreement? Although that is, of course, not the OP's problem. But I would tend, although I emphasise that my general contract law is very rusty these days, to agree with enquirer that a court would be looking for some form of terms of contract, even if those are implied (and hard to discern in this situation), and having given the money without any obvious statement that it was a loan or any repayment arrangements, it is going to be quite difficult to evidence that it was not a gift.

Now I must go away and try to get that picture of labman in a dress out of my head. I must say, he looks rather fetching....

[Inca]

Re: Need some advice- evil step mum threatening to take us to court

This came from her to my husband- even though it was his dad that lent him it
So it was a loan?.Even though they can't prove it,,it was. Only question you must ask yourselves then is can you live with knowing it wasn't a gift?

[labman]

Re: Need some advice- evil step mum threatening to take us to court

Now I must go away and try to get that picture of labman in a dress out of my head. I must say, he looks rather fetching....

A lab is a retriever, so by definition is bound to be fetching, whether or not attired in a dress! :nod::nod::nod:

[enquirer]

Re: Need some advice- evil step mum threatening to take us to court

.... and for the OP to prove it wasn't through their defence?

Is the burden of proof on the defence? I would suggest not - although that said, it is true that they would be extremely unwise to do nothing and to rely on the fact that the claimant is a 'obviously' a liar!

[enquirer]

Re: Need some advice- evil step mum threatening to take us to court

This came from her to my husband- even though it was his dad that lent him it
So it was a loan?.Even though they can't prove it,,it was. Only question you must ask yourselves then is can you live with knowing it wasn't a gift?

I suspect that it was one of those family 'loans', which whilst technically a loan, there is a tacit understanding that it is not really expected that it will be repaid. All rather vague, and very unpleasant when it goes wrong.

Given that this situation will probably run and run, concluding only with the death of the father, or the departure of the MIL (once the father has been thoroughly fleeced), it would be better to repay it and then stay away.