Assited Living

[paul123]

Re: Assited Living

Puff it might help if local gp wrote to social services doctors referral harder to ignore

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Assited Living

yes.. exactly!!

ok so he likes playing operation and Guess who, and cant read much more than his name and address, but.. hes cool.. there is no other word for him!

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Assited Living

ty paul I will tell her, its more to do with D having some independance and being in control of his life, cos he is scared to be alone atm.

[MissFM]

Re: Assited Living

Puff it might help if local gp wrote to social services doctors referral harder to ignore

Good idea - if sympathetic. They can't ignore a GP. Puff, if needed, I will tell you the truly horrendous lengths to which we had to go to get what is actually a legal requirement.

[MissFM]

Re: Assited Living

yes.. exactly!!

ok so he likes playing operation and Guess who, and cant read much more than his name and address, but.. hes cool.. there is no other word for him!

I know. My lad is just:_tighthug__by_darkm xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Assited Living

yeh i just wanna squiosh him, but hes like NO WAY!!

[MissFM]

Re: Assited Living

Well, you got me going now Puff! I miss him SO MUCH - so much but I know it's best for him and also when we die he will have his own life and it won't be such a blow and so on .,....

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Assited Living

and hes sitting there saying mother dont worry so!!

yeh sounds a lot like D. He's happy as long as he has his board games, his fags and his company..

[MissFM]

Re: Assited Living

Well my lad wouldn't smoke or drink or anything like that - he's very childlike - much less capable than the D you describe - but still a man, and since he's had the support he needs has become a very fine young man in my unbiased opinion lol.

It's interesting that now he's in his own (very highly supported) home he has actually begun to speak more and do things we never thought he would do. Even though FMPOV it's a perennial heartbreak situation it IS right for him and that's why I think your friend should also pursue the maximum independence route. When I see friends from my D's special school (from when he was a child), or when I go to carer's "events" - trailing around after their parents - in their 20's and 30's - even 40's - I just think, even though it was (brutally) forced on us, it was right for our lad. We would have got it wrong, because we are so protective of him. Just because people don't develop intellectually in the usual way doesn't mean they should be denied the opportunity to grow up.

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Assited Living

yeh if you love someone you have to let them go.

he knows in his way that his mam and dad are there for him, H's parents have sadly both passed away so she literally has her 90 year old nana for support!!

There are some lovely rooms in a supported living home here, do him the world of good to have people of his own age to hang out with, and give him some sense of pride.

Will speak to my council and the H shaped person in the morning!!

[MissFM]

Re: Assited Living

That sounds near perfect Puff! xxxxx

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Assited Living

yeh its bang on what he needs, just getting him in there, im hoping that this area will be more.. accepting of D than where he is atm.

[MissFM]

Re: Assited Living

Do be prepared to fight, Puff - put on the 7 inch heels! x:argue:

[Hurricane Puffrose]

Re: Assited Living

dont need em!!

Just spoke to our local council S/S dept who want H to come up for a day or 2 so they can assess D.

They say he would be better suited to Domicillary care than a care home environment, as it will encourage him to support himself! As they say he CAN do it, he just doesnt realise he can!

[Eloise01]

Re: Assited Living

Absolutely correct - and it's not just the cost of care but the quality that - literally - cuts off from county to county. We, for example, live on the cusp (as it were) of three LAs and it's really hard to get the provision sorted as they all guard their own pots and areas of excellence (!) instead of sharing.
.

That is exactly what happened to my friend. He lives a stones throw from three authorities, and the nearest and best place available that he and his wife really liked was not in his authority, and would have cost them £40 pw more than they could claim. And since they didn't have that amount of spare case lying around, they couldn't use it and had to opt for one in their own area, but further away and not as ideal for their dependants needs. Not everyone can afford an extra £160 per month going out.