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Thread: Should I just let sleeping dogs lie?

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  1. #1
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    Default Should I just let sleeping dogs lie?

    I have a minor situation which relates to my previous employment that I just want someone to give me that slap round the face and tell me to let things go.

    I worked as a cleaner for a number of years and the last few months were not great because of the actions of my boss. I was their deputy and quit and they kinda screwed one of my friends over for a job there, when hiring someone they were personal friends with(of course I can't prove it but they changed the job criteria late which I was only aware of after the fact.) There were a few occasions when I spoke with their boss about things they had said in front of other people and it got that bad that when I resigned by handing a letter to her boss, and I told then, they said to me that I only did it to go above their head. I would add that I had two letters with one asking for a reference and the other one to her which simply said resigned. I know which letter was passed onto the person who responded by accepting that resignation(cos I cleaned their room ). I would add that things were that bad that on my last day my boss had the day off, which I only knew about because work colleagues told me on the last day I had to work with them.

    I should add that I know work somewhere else on a zero hours contract but not in cleaning anymore. However, there are contractors who work where my boss does and where I do. Some people I knew from then. I had a conversation with one of these contractors and I had said I worked at that place. I kinda asked how things were as they had moved buildings recently. They said things were different and that they did have a deputy to my boss their but that this same boss had said that they had got rid of their deputy(and I do mean me but I am kinda trying too hard to annonymise this all). I was not mentioned by name.

    My question really is: 1: Is this appropriate for someone to state this as "getting rid of someone" is suggesting that they were sacked?
    2. Should I actually do a thing about this?

    Will tag @Ula (cos I think you'll give me the slap I have suggested) and @mariefab (cos I think you're a straight talker)

    And anyone else can thump me as well should they think it appropriate. I will add that I did start a log of incidents when I worked in the old place that I still have today. I did not fill in a leaving questionnaire when I left cos I would have been honest and I still need a reference from this person's boss/
    "Family means that no one gets forgotten or left behind"
    (quote from David Ogden Stiers)

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Should I just let sleeping dogs lie?

    Quote Originally Posted by leclerc View Post
    And anyone else can thump me as well should they think it appropriate.
    me??

    hunny ... I would never tell you what to do. But you NEED to follow your heart on this one xx
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  3. #3
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    Default Re: Should I just let sleeping dogs lie?

    Quote Originally Posted by Kati View Post
    me??

    hunny ... I would never tell you what to do. But you NEED to follow your heart on this one xx

    What's in my heart involves criminal activities that would allow me a LIFETIME of her majesty's pleasure with free room and board. However, I'm asking for the legal position in regards to someone who is clearly not a nice person who is indirectly besmirching my integrity.

    The options I considered were twofold: 1) emailing HR and stating my concerns
    or 2) letting it go and doing nothing.

    I do need a reference from my old job place but it would not come from that person.
    "Family means that no one gets forgotten or left behind"
    (quote from David Ogden Stiers)

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Should I just let sleeping dogs lie?

    It's not appropriate but, in a way, your old boss did get rid of you as I'm sure that their obnoxious behaviour was likely to have motivated you to leave. They obviously haven't changed so I think congratulations are due for removing yourself from such a toxic environment.

    What was said doesn't amount to defamation and sadly being an a!!hole still isn't against the law.

    I would only write in if I felt that the old boss is capable of influencing the person writing the reference.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Should I just let sleeping dogs lie?

    It sounds like it was not a pleasant place to work. Your recourse at the time if you had wanted would have been to raise a grievance, however my feeling from what you have said is that would have got you no where and may even have made life worse.

    I would make suggest that when you give details of who any new employer should write for a reference make sure it's the HR department.

    I would say you are well out of there and it should now be left behind.
    I do my best to provide good practical advice, however I do so without liability.
    If you have any doubts then do please seek professional legal advice.


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    You are braver than you believe, smarter than you think and stronger than you seem.

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